Not Ordinary Love

Secret Dating (1)

LUNA

I feel pain all over my body. It was like carrying a very heavy load. Crumple all my wrist joints. I grimaced with the pain, as I moved my left hand.

Still half conscious, I tried to open my eyes. I'm no longer in my room, this room is all white. I felt my right hand like someone was holding it. My eyes saw the Shah and fell asleep sitting in a chair. He fell asleep while holding my hand. I just realized I'm in the hospital now. Seen from the drip that had the needle stuck in my hand.

I try to remember what happened. Why did I get here. The pain in my left wrist grew as I tried to move it. My hand was wrapped in a thick bandage.

I close my eyes, collect all the memories in my memory. And I remember everything, the last time I was home. I haven't been out of my room all day. My mind is really messed up, my heart hurts so much. So that I expressed a tight anger in my chest by slamming and throwing all whatever was in my room. And until I finally broke the mirror glass in the bathroom, and immediately slashed my wrist with the glass shatter. After I tried to soak my head in the bathtub to run out of breath but to no avail. After cutting my hand, I felt a great pain. Maybe I'm too deep to cut it. And I lay my body on the cold bathroom floor. Shortly before I was unconscious, I still had time to hear the sound of door breaking and the voice of the Shahdan calling my name.

"I'm sorry Luna mas.. Forgive Luna.." My crying broke too. I couldn't bear to know that I had ruined his hopes. I don't want to live anymore. I just want to die so I can ease this pain.

"Luna, you're up on the deck." Shahdan flew because I was trying to move my hand.

"Sorry Luna mas.." That's all I can say, my tears are breaking. I can't hold it anymore. I'm adding more weight to Syahdan's taste.

"Here you go, rest first. Don't think like that. Or want to end your life again. It's for you Luna. Please, before you do something like this again. Remember how it destroyed. Rest, I'll take care of you deck." Saying to Shahdan.

FLASHBACKS

Maybe it's because my heart still mourns the loss of Mami. Coupled with the sad state of Shahdan because he was left married by Airin. I felt my life empty, I felt alone in this world.

Andri's presence really comforted me. He was so considerate and pampered me. Every day he was always ready to accompany me. Take me wherever I want. I really feel very dependent on him. Especially the very sweet treatment. I, who was feeling inattentive, became very amused.

Mas Andri really made me drift in romance. I am the one who often asks for it. Her softness is like opium to me. I want to be always promised, I want to be in his arms, listening to his sighs that are very tempting to me. Feeling every beat of his body supporting me in his arms. I had completely forgotten myself while I was with him.

Until that day, I felt something else with my body. I often get dizzy and nauseous. At first I thought it was just the cold or my magh who had relapsed. So I don't think too much. But I just remembered that this month I didn't come. My fear arises, what if I get pregnant. Because during contact with Andri mas we never use safety. But remembering the attitude of Andri to me, I became calm. I'm sure Andri will be responsible if I'm pregnant.

after school that afternoon, I stopped by the pharmacy to buy a tespeck. When I got home I tested. And it turns out that my guess was right, I was positively pregnant. Although there is still a sense of worry about this pregnancy. How not, I'm still in college last semester. How will I go to college, and how will I tell the Shah and if I'm pregnant. What will be the response, I have disappointed him greatly. But I try to calm down, I'm sure with Andri mas we can convince mas Syahdan.we both can certainly go through all this. I'm finally getting married, to a man who loves me very much.

I can't wait to tell Andri. I'm sure that later Andri will be happy to hear the news I'm pregnant. I am pregnant with her child, the fruit of our love. But I've called Andri's number several times, always inactive. I even called his phone number dozens of times. Where is Andri, why is his hape not active. I still haven't suspected anything.

That day, I stopped by Andri's apartment. Arriving there I did not meet Andri mas Even I can not enter again, because the password has been replaced. That was when fear haunted me. Where mas Andri, and why now the door password of his apartment was replaced. I stayed silent for a long time in front of the door. Until the passing of a Father who told me that it turns out Andri mas already do not live there anymore. And I also finally know that this is not the apartment owned by Andri mas like what he said padaky. He's just contracted here. And his lease is up, so he's not staying here anymore.

I finally came home feeling broken. Where I'm going to find Andrim I don't know what's going on about him. His best friend, his house, his job, even Andri's family I never knew. I only know the figure of Andri mas all this time. The warm togetherness made me forget about something else. Where I will look now, there is not a place or person I can go to ask the existence of Andri mas.

After a few days I was like a madman walking down the street looking for him. Every place we went back to I visited. Even I intentionally lingered there for a long time just to wait. Who knows if Andri will show up there. But never met.

I'm really stressed, I don't know what else to do. What if my pregnancy is getting bigger. What about Shahdan. I have destroyed his trust. The swab always comes late. I just regret my stupidity. Why am I so easily consumed by his seduction. All this time I was most anti-close to the guy who pretentious attention. I'm notoriously cuey with a pretentious romantic guy. But why after Mami died and mas Shahdan dissolved with his wound I became weak. And so easily dissolved in the softness given Andri mas.

"Aaaarrrrhhhhhhhggggggghhhhh....." I screamed as hard as I could. It is possible that this burden will feel reduced and disappear. I destroyed everything, I solved everything in my room. I have to kill this baby. I don't want to give birth without a husband. I don't want to be a burden on Shahdan.

"Maybe it's better that me and this baby are just as non-existent in the world. Maybe I'd better catch up with Mami and Papi" The crazy thoughts rule my heart and mind. And I just took that piece of glass and slashed my hand. For a moment I felt my body light.. The cold enveloped me. Before my eyes really closed I heard Shahdan calling my name. And I don't remember anything else.