MY LOVE ENDS WITH YOU

NARITA POV) LOVE STATEMENT 2

Today is Saturday. As usual, every weekend I would feel very lonely. Living in an apartment alone. Ms. Diva and Ms. Ami who live in an apartment building with me sometimes this Saturday they work overtime. Yes 4 years have passed, me, Ms. Diva, and Mbak Ami are still durable with unmarried status. All I know is that Mbak Ami has a boyfriend, but their relationship is limited to social media, while Mbak Diva is never open to her romantic relationship.

 

After the shower, vegetable shopping, cooking, and cleaning the apartment, I sat down to relax on the sofa and watch television. My mind drifted back to last night.

 

The Flashback

 

“Trulyaaa,,,, actually I've been in love with you for a long time!” shocked at Daniel's statement, I choked on my own saliva and my eyes bulged as if I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Daniel again said “I know I'm not the guy you want, I don't fit your life partner criteria! I----”

“Ka ka says who?” I asked her to interrupt her immediately, but somehow I got nervous like this.

I saw Daniel who always looked assertive, authoritative at the presentation and led the meeting, but this time he was very different. I saw the nervousness of his eyes and his gestures. His eyes moved in any direction, his feet trembled, his palms clasped and took off continuously.

“Niel...” call me again.

“We have different beliefs” his heavy tone of voice gives meaning so difficult he said the word.

 

Hah,,, I let out a long, rough sigh. This my life. How hard it is for God to meet the right person. Yes I admit, Daniel is very handsome, kind, polite, and very considerate. Anyone would easily fall for him. But what about me?? Ever since I knew our differences, I've been keeping my heart from falling back on the same mistakes I've done before when I fell for her.

 

We were silent for a long time. I covered my face with both palms. I honestly want to scream and cry. God, I want to open my heart again, but with the right people. Can I open my heart to Daniel??

 

Daniel is a man who is obedient to his beliefs, and so am I. It felt really stupid to ask God that, obviously the answer is that Daniel is not the right person for me.

“Na,,,,”call him and I reopened my hands and ventured into his eyes.

“Ya?” my answer was short, confused to say what else.

“I said it didn't expect you to answer it. I just want you to know what's here!” his hand held the chest where his heart was.

“I am not someone who easily falls in love, nor is a jerk who easily takes women to bed. I am indeed a westerner with a very attached western culture, but I have a God that I fear” he said staring fixedly at me.

“3.5 Years I held back my feelings, it feels like I can't cover it anymore from you, even though my race is unrequited!” said again.

“Vis----!” instantly I shut my mouth because of my unconsciousness just mispronounced Daniel.

Ahhh it's stupid of me to be able to mispronounce people's names. Why do I still remember his name. Stupid Foolish Fool - - I cursed myself in my heart.

“Vis? You mean?” Daniel was surprised by my call.

“Niel I-” I want to say again but still very confused, my mind is chaotic, between the brain and mouth is out of sync.

“We live as usual Na. You don't have to be burdened with my feelings. I'll find my own way out of this feeling.” And then I was embarrassed and confused.

“Na...” calling him made me raise my head and look him in the eye again.

“If there is no difference between us, can you open your heart to me?” Daniel looked at me sharply, looking around for the answer I would give.

 

“Niel, love someone for God and not vice versa!”

“Follow your heart and not me or anyone else's word!”

“Because the one who will undergo the consequences for your decision is yourself!”

 

Daniel looked down and rubbed his face with both palms. We were silent for a long time.

“Have you ever loved someone different?” her tanya softly made me aghast at her question.

“Da da from where can you guess that?” many nervous.

“The name you just called, right?” Daniel looked back at me with a smile.

 

And honestly I can't hide my nervousness. I again throw a glance in any direction, my hands have moved irregularly squeezing, clenching fingers to cause a kretek kretek sound.

 

“That's when my love clapped one hand. Already know different but really stupid I easily fell in love with him.” Then for a moment I fell silent.

“But fortunately my love is unrequited. She left me.” I continued, with a smile occasionally glancing at him and back down.

“Already know different, can not unite, unrequited love anyway.”

“Now I prefer to learn to love someone who definitely loves me. But not just a girlfriend, so it must be someone who is likely to get blessing from both sides of the family.” My light is in a head down position and still with words that are chaotic in my opinion, whether Daniel understands or not.

 

Daniel again smiled thinly and said “Please wait for me, Na!” Daniel convinced.

 

“Means?” I scrunched my forehead.

 

Flashback off

 

I lay my body on the couch, turned my back. I'm back to fretting. I am afraid of the words of Daniel Semalem. I'm afraid he misunderstood.

 

Do I seem to give him hope? – I murmured slowly.

 

I took a deep breath again and threw it away roughly “Hufh.