My husband, Doctor Adrian

Divorce and Losing Papa

LULA'S POV

I didn't realize how long I had been lying down. Maybe one day. Or two days. I don't know. Hunger and thirst are not enough to motivate me to get out of bed. I have been crying and sleeping for a long time. Wake up and cry again and sleep again. I'm too tired both psychically and physically.

Balinese. I have no particular reason why I came here. After I left Nathan's house, I went to the airport and booked whatever was the fastest scheduled departure. I can no longer afford it if my business and my life are interfered with by anyone. In Jakarta, everything is sickening. I will always remember my baby who is not there. Adrian. Both my parents and my in-laws. My pals. Even Nathan. All of them bring bad memories for me.

I rented a one-bedroom villa with a single pool, which again I rented not for any reason. I just chose it. I just want to run away from Jakarta. I wish I could be alone in this place.

Tok tock..

My bedroom door was knocked. Wh who? I know there's no waiter or room service here.

I got up and walked slowly towards the door while holding onto my aching stomach. Maybe because I'm hungry. It's not that I don't have the money to buy food, but my heart is too broken to do simple activities like eating.

I opened the door. There's no one. As I was about to close the door, I saw a packet of food from a restaurant.

Belly sounds.

But who gave me this?

I brought the package inside. I was about to throw it in the trash, but I was really hungry. I can no longer think. I opened the package and ate it slowly on the bed.

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The waves crashed into his body and were crushed by the cliff. I stared at the sea. I have been on the island of Bali for two weeks. I still didn't do anything. But now I eat, even though sometimes only once a day. Sometimes I go to the beach. My twenty-nine years of life have flashed before me.

My phone's beeping. There was a notification from my mobile banking app.

Adrian Wijaya has transferred Rp. 30,000,000.

I was shocked to read that name. A name I try to forget strongly. Thirty million? Wh-wh-what for? Suddenly I remembered. Today is the first date. And that amount.. He always sends me that amount of money on the one day of each month. But now for what? Didn't we split up?

I pressed my phone fast. I transferred it back. I didn't send him any messages or try to contact him, because he did too. Yes, it worked. I don't want to owe anyone. I no longer have a relationship with Adrian so I'd better get him back. All this time, the monthly money from him I almost never touch except when I want to fill our house with new furniture or equipment, because my salary is still very enough to finance myself.

I resumed my daydreaming, enjoying the sea breeze on my face. My phone rings again. Adrian sent me back the money. Okay. I know he sucks, but I didn't know he could be this stubborn. He wants to be pretentious right? So responsible? Does he think I can't support myself?

I let out a breath. Okay. Whatever happens. I can't call him. Actually with our reluctance to communicate with each other, it was clear that our relationship was going very dysfunctional. But anyway, later when I'm in Jakarta, I will cash this money and return it directly to him, if it's necessary.

I decided not to exaggerate the matter and put my phone back together with nature.

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A few days later, I received a message from my lawyer.

Good day, Miss. The judge has decided that from today on you are officially divorced from Mr. Adrian. I have sent a divorce certificate to your email. Thank ye.

I'm glad to read it. I did leave all this divorce to the lawyer. All these painful processes. I'm glad everything went fast.

Wait for.. Pleased? Really it?

I close my eyes, almost imagining your face. Makes me think more of you. Are you all right? Do you eat regularly? I can't miss a second without thinking about you, which I can't erase from my heart. I did not miss a single second without torturing myself with this enormous feeling of guilt.

Am I selfish for missing you?

I should have hated you. Earnestly. You should hate me more. Thousandfold. But it doesn't seem. You still even support me. Justjust please.. Hate me. To make all this easier.

I opened the glass door wide. I feel claustrophobic. Now I just realized it. I've officially divorced. I'm really alone now. Completely alone. We have given up our responsibilities to each other. Unknowingly my tears fell. I still love him. Really love her. Maybe this is called not always what we want is good for us. Just look at how our wedding is. Chilly. Discussive.

I regret marrying her a little. It's possible that if we decided not to get married, I wouldn't always demand that she spend more time at home. I am quite grateful if given the opportunity twice a week to meet him during a courtship.

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A few days later..

Cellphone's ringing.

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It's only six in the morning. I saw the name on the phone screen.

Mamma.

I raised the call.

"Hispan?" Mama sobbing.

"Yes, Ma?" my word.

"Hurry home, son.." she still sobbed.

"What's up, Ma? Mama why?" my many.

"Just go home. Now." Now."

Call disconnected.

My feelings are not good. What was? Is it possible.. Something happened to Mama? Or the.. Adrian's? I don't know why I thought about Adrian. If anything bad happened to her, I would never forgive myself.

I picked up my potluck and ran out of the villa. I stopped a passing taxi.

"To the airport, sir." I said.

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That afternoon, in Jakarta..

I arrived at my parents' second home. I banged on the main door.

"Who? Not Lula?" Aunt opened the door and looked surprised to see me. It was like she was crying.

"Which mom, Bi?" panicked shouting.

"Mrs.. Madam.."

"Where, Bi??"

"In Cemetery X, Non.."

"What?? Who is.."

My aunt seemed reluctant to explain. His face turned sad. I ran out again. I stopped the taxi again and told the driver to drive quickly.

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The funeral was crowded that afternoon. I could see dozens of people wearing all-black clothes. I can't see Mama. I paid and got out of the taxi. I walked timidly closer to the tomb. I approached and got closer. I could hear Mama's cry. I could see Father and Mother Adrian by the side of the tomb opposite me. Then I saw her. It says the name of Papa, Luke Abraham.