My husband, Doctor Adrian

Guilty

NATHAN'S POV

I already felt something was wrong. How can a fine woman like Lula go to a bar by herself? Does he not have anyone to be his place of complaint?

Lula has been living here for two days. I intentionally ignored it. I have to make her comfortable living in this house, by not putting too much pressure on her. We don't talk to each other, or meet. After work, I was just in the living room, or my room. While Lula, almost never out the guest room that he occupied.

I was staring at the sky on my balcony. It's almost eleven o'clock in the evening. I still wear my office clothes today. Then, I saw it. Lula. He was wearing his nightgown and walking towards the pool. My pond has a depth of up to three meters on one side. That's more than enough for.. What possible..

I ran very fast out of my room, down the stairs, through the living room.. My feet hit the table, but I kept running. I haven't arrived yet. Damnit.. Who's the stupid architect I want to tell you to create a house as big as a palace like this!

I kept running until I finally saw it. We just parted a glass wall, and, well, a distance of twenty meters. I ran towards the automatic door on the side of the pool. Then, I pulled it.

"What do you want?" my many. Gasps.

He looked at me confused. The silk nightgown he was wearing was hit by the wind and hit my clothes. That alone was enough to make my blood rustle.

"I.." she said slowly. He looked thinner than I remembered. Shit, did those servants not feed him?

"Please, Lula.. Don't like this.. Whatever your problem, I can be a good listener. But please, don't even think about ending your life.."

I looked at her thin face, her long and beautiful hair, her pale yet soft-looking lips. I don't know how he wants to take the life of this most beautiful creature of God.

All of a sudden.. Lula smiled. Then his smile turned into laughter. Like a song in my ear. But still, it didn't take away my curiosity. Why is he laughing?

"You. funny.." she said. "I don't want to kill myself.." Suddenly his face turned grim. He shed tears, but quickly wiped them away. Okay. He went from laughing to crying in a matter of seconds and that worried me. Is he okay?

I clasped his hand. Chilly. My heart was sliced to see it break like this. I pulled him to sit on the sofa located on the terrace next to the pool.

I pulled out a chair so I could sit in front of him. We were less than thirty centi. I didn't say anything. I don't know what to say. I just looked at him. I wish I could take away all the sadness that was on her. I wish I could fix his heart.

"Why?" tanyakanya.

I didn't answer. No words could explain what was going on in my mind.

"I'm fine, really.. Really am.. Sorry, I'm always a hassle. Tomorrow I'll be per.."

I kissed her. Her lips. Yes, sebrengse* that's me. It's not like I'm using this golden opportunity, is it. I was able to refrain from touching her even for another ten years. I kissed her because I hoped that a little bit of her sadness would disappear. I hope a little bit of his sadness changes with happiness. I wish some of his sadness could be mine and he could take all of my happiness.

She pushed.

PLAAAKKK..

Okay. Have I told you that I'm the dumbest man in the world?

She cried. His face was red, flooded, but with an almost inaudible voice.

It all happened so fast. He stood up. I-i know. He's going to leave my house. I know it. I don't want that to happen. Not in this way.

"Lula, sorry. I'm sorry. Listen to me first.."

He ran away from me. I chased.

"Lula!"

He doesn't seem to know the direction. Sometimes I get lost in this house.

"Hawkins.."

"Please, let me go." he said in tears.

He shook.

"Why?"

He grunts. "No, don't go there. I can. can be alone. Just show me the exit."

"No, La. Not when you're like this."

Then he sat on the floor.

"Just kill me, then.." (bunu* just me)

I jerked.

She hugged both knees and cried with all her heart. He no longer held back the volume of his cries.

"Why does it hurt so bad? Whys.. Why.."

He hit his feet on the floor repeatedly. He looked so shaken. He scratched his hands so hard that they became so red, some even bled.

"Hawkins.." I pulled both hands, trying to stop him. But he's rampaging.

"Servant!" my yelling.

A few servants came and helped me calm Lula down.

"You! Call the psychiatrist now!" I said to the butler.

Long story short, Lula no longer fought back and we took her to her room.

Oh Lord.. What suffering did this woman I love suffer?

Whats?

Of love?

.

.

.

The psychiatrist just came out of Lula's room. He explained that Lula may have PTSD or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Lula had just been given a sedative. Clearly, Lula should not be left alone. It can't be stressful. He should also be surrounded by people who support him, and if possible he should spend time doing various fun activities.

I thanked the psychiatric doctor and after that, I went into Lula's room.

He sits on the head board. His eyes caught my presence. He seems much calmer now. It looks like the doctor's medicine is working.

"I'm sorry." I said as I stood next to him. I kept my distance, afraid that he would still be angry at my actions.

"You deserve to be angry.. But.. You should know that I did it because.. I'm sad to see you sad like that.."

"Are you aware that maybe all these bad things in my life wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been in my life?" says firmly.

That's when I realized. I remember our meetings. It turns out his words were right. Nothing has ever happened between us during our three years as superiors and subordinates. That changed when I visited her at the hospital. Then I naively invited him to dinner. So did our other meetings that caused her husband to be so angry. In other words, it was me who ruined their marriage. Wait for.. Isn't it.. That time.. Adrian accidentally pushed Lula until she miscarried? Wasn't that after he saw us together?

So then.. I also participated in.. AAAARRGH.. I'm messing with my hair. I'm angry at myself. I feel unworthy to be here in a room with Lula. I walked out of the room and closed it. I feel so guilty. A thousand words of forgiveness will not be enough! I went into my room and was drowning in guilt.