Lord, Accept My Repentance

Mom's Request

Mama realized after a long day of coma, I couldn't see Mama this morning because there was class. But, Mama has told me to come there as much as I can.

Today's class is only until 12pm, I immediately ordered a taxi online because the driver had business with my stepmother.

"Nazwa, huh?"

"Yes sir."

Get in the car and do not forget to buy some snacks first, the plan I want to accompany Mama in the hospital because tomorrow is Sunday.

"Thank you, yes, sir," I said as I gave the fare and some snacks I had bought.

"Thank you Deck." I smiled and got out of the car, walking towards the room Mama with a pretty happy heart.

Although, Mama can't go home yet. At least hearing the news that Mama had just been quiet enough.

I opened the door and looked around, no one but Mama was asleep.

I closed the door slowly, walked up to the mini fridge and put some of the drinks I bought into it.

"Have you been so long, baby?" ask a voice so weak now in my ear.

"Eh, Nazwa woke up Mama?" I was surprised and closed the refrigerator door again because it was finished filling it.

Mama gave a smile and shook her head slowly, I put a crackle that still had a few snacks on the nightstand.

Sitting next to Mama and smiling at Mama, "Which other Ma?" I asked because I did not find the figure of the two people.

"Prepare to pray. You don't pray?"

"No Ma," I shook my head.

Mama's hand touched my cheek and rubbed gently, "You don't papa, do you?"

"Well, Nazwa should be the one to Mama. Mama's not papa, is she?" ask me to take Mama's hand on my cheek, "What's the pain? Why did it go into a coma like this?"

"Mama's just a soy sauce."

"Where are the soybeans until Ma's comma!" I was upset to hear a nonsensical answer from my mother.

Mama chuckled even more upset, she stared at the door making me link my brow confused.

"There's something you want to tell me" Mama said in a serious voice. I let go of Mama's hand and looked seriously at Mama.

"What Ma?"

"Do you like Farhan?"

"Huh?" I was surprised to be suddenly asked a question like this. I take my eyes off Mama, I don't know if I like her or not.

"Why are you surprised?"

"No, it's weird. Mama suddenly it's like that."

"Do you like her?"

"N-nazwa doesn't know Ma," I said lowered my head.

Mama clasped my hand on the edge of her bed making me stare at Mama.

"Do you remember something that Mama wanted from you back then?" asked Mama makes me a little forget to remember.

"L-yes, what is Ma?" I ask who remembers that.

"Marry Farhan" asked Mama with a serious face.

I let go of Mama's hand and shook my head slowly, I remembered that Mama came in here for a heart attack.

"Ma .. Marriage isn't like that, is it?"

"You mean?"

"Mama can't force two people who don't like each other and love to be together" I said quietly and tried more gently.

"You don't like it?"

"Either Ma, Nazwa did not know whether or not Farhan liked it. However, one thing Nazwa wanted to say.

That ... Nazwa can't handle an arranged marriage like this. Nazwa doesn't want anyone to have to love Nazwa.

We are great, Ma, have the right to choose what we want. Maybe, if Farhan will.

Though his heart was wounded because there was a woman he loved. But Nazwa? Nazwa can't do that Ma.

Not that Nazwa is evil and does not appreciate Mama as a person who has much merit that makes Nazwa change.

However, for a wedding like this. Nazwa did not want to do something like this, let God unite if we are a match Ma. Yea?" I said asking for approval so that Mama would listen to my refusal.

I hugged Mama's body quickly so that she was not surprised by what I said earlier, although not with a firm voice and a high tone.

But, I was still afraid that Mama would be shocked by my rejection of his request.

At first glance, I saw someone standing not far from the door. Farhan. Yes, that man must have heard what we were talking about earlier.

He went back with his flat face, I don't know what's on his mind right now. I'm sure, this is all purely Mama's will not Farhan's asking.

"But you like him, don't you?" mama asked back to make me let go of the hug and sit up straight.

"Who doesn't like her Ma? Man; smart, pious, kind, family sweetheart, hardworking and meek though sometimes a little annoying.

However, if it had to be set up like this. Nazwa could not, for fear that he would feel that he could not freely choose his idol.

You should also know that your child's choice must be a good woman, or that a woman who is much better than Nazwa" said I who felt actually inappropriate with Farhan.

After a long story, feed Mama and finally Mama sleep. I took the money in the wallet intending to buy a meal in this hospital cafeteria.

I opened the door to Mama's room with Bang Rangga and Farhan outside, "Well, why don't you come in?"

"Where are you going?" bang Rangga asked directly standing up from his seat.

"You eat the Bang."

"Jude, you want to go inside, yeah."

"Let me accompany you to eat" Farhan cut off and stood up.

"Mmm .. no need, I can be alone, really," I was afraid if he would discuss the matter earlier.

Farhan instead walked first leaving us both, "Bang, Nazwa said goodbye first, yes," I said and went to follow Farhan.

He and I just stayed in the corridor to the cafeteria, nobody opened their voices because I was walking behind them.

"Please order me the same menu as you" Farhan said as he reached the doorstep of the cafeteria.

He was looking for a seat while I was upset by his orders, I stomped my feet towards the place to order food in this canteen.

Two yellow rice and one bowl of empty meatballs were being brought by the canteen waiter here, I just followed from behind.

I was meant to help. But, the ministry forbids me from doing that. Sitting on the side of Farhan who was still with his flat face.

"Wait for the drink, yes, Ma'am," said the waiter and I replied with a nod also smiling kindly.