Lord, Accept My Repentance

Expelled

After the departure of Bang Rangga also Rose, Mama decided to take a nap and told me to too.

At first, I intended so. After half an hour of trying to sleep. My eyes reluctant to close made me choose to get up and out of the room.

Sitting on a park bench that thankfully the day was not too hot this afternoon, my eyes stared intently ahead.

"Why do you like going to the park this late?" ask someone I have already heard his voice.

I quietly did not reply, the sharp gaze now turned blank as my mind fluttered.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" farhan asked again, flicking his thumb and middle finger in front of me made me realize.

"What?" I looked at him confused.

"Gosh, so I asked you not to hear it?" asked Farhan who was a little upset.

"Listen," I said quickly.

"What did I ask you?" ask him curiously. I was silent, because I didn't listen to the whole question.

"Where are you going to college?" ask me to divert the conversation.

"Mm .. near here is the most important, no need to go out of town," said Farhan staring ahead.

I nodded and looked towards the front as well, "What degree?"

"Not knowing, later I will ask the same Mama also asked for his approval," said Farhan and again just I can't help but.

Finally, we kept quiet when I didn't intend to ask her anything more, "Oh, yes!" exclaiming Farhan while staring at me made me look at him as well.

"What?" I asked a little curious.

"You haven't returned my bud" he said, reminding me to link my eyebrows.

"What do you want me to do with?" ask me a little annoyed. He could have charged that to me.

"Wait a minute!" tell Farhan and run into the house while I just stare in confusion.

About 20 minutes I waited, he finally came back with his hands on his back. I wrinkled the eyebrows feeling strange with Farhan's attitude.

"Now," he said handing me the bag's face made me take to see what was inside.

"Hawl?" ask me to lift the veil inside the bag.

"Yes, you used that in return for your buds to me. But, I want to worship and God. It's not just to repay my kindness to you" said Farhan, who was sitting back next to me.

I nodded my head and looked back to the front, "Thanks."

"Sama-sama," said Farhan slowly.

"Hey, what are you doing hot in there?" mama's screams from the doorway made us just quietly look at Mama.

I left Farhan first and approached Mama, "I don't know, Ma said. Farhan is following me!" ketusku while holding the bag earlier.

"Why me?" asked Farhan who was already beside Mama.

"Well, yes too. Kan, I was there first," I explained as I stuck out my tongue.

"Have it done, let's go inside," cut off the Mama who was afraid we'd get into a fight later.

Finally, we went into the house. I decided to sit on the sofa because it would seem like it would be difficult to sleep.

Mama also finally joined Farhan, I'm looking for a cartoon that is airing, "Eh, you guys have not told how in the hospital and police station earlier, you know," my mom said to me that I'm focusing on television.

I didn't listen to what they were talking about, just focused on television without caring about Mama and Farhan.

Drowsiness always arrives when I still want to watch television, with my back resting on the sofa.

I closed my eyes and let the television see me falling asleep in my dreams.

***

A few times I closed my mouth when I wanted to yawn, rubbed my eyes and circulated around. The television was turned off and there was no Mama Farhan beside me.

The clock shows at four o'clock in the afternoon, which means I am late for Asar prayers. I got up and went into the bathroom.

Working on obligations and choosing to stay in the room first, from the outside I heard the voice of Bang Rangga say hello and was greeted by Mama.

"Where was that at the office?" mama asked Bang Rangga even though I did not see for sure who was asked was Bang Rangga because he was alone working.

"That's how Ma is," said Bang Rangga who made my eyebrows linked. I taped my earlobe to the door to make it clearer to hear the conversation between the child and mother.

"Why you?" ask Mama in a worried tone.

"It's not Ma's job, it's the Rose."

"Roses? Why her?" mama asked, "who did you see?"

"Nazwa where's Ma?" asked Bang Rangga who was apparently looking for my whereabouts or maybe he was looking towards my room?

"Still praying like, because Mama woke up she was very difficult," said Mama.

"So, Roses do not like the presence of Nazwa in our homes even though we already consider Nazwa like his own family.

He said, even though it was considered family or even foster sister. We're still not Nazwa's mahram and it's not good if we don't have one roof."

The deg!

As if struck by lightning in the afternoon when it was not raining, I did not expect that the Rose would be like that to me.

I am still faithfully waiting for the response of Mama who seems confused to want to make a decision.

"So, what do you mean?"

"I mean Rangga, we have to tell Nazwa to go home to Ma. It's not that we can't afford to finance him.

However, in order to maintain her pride and honor as a woman. How can we keep telling him to move while he's still living with foreign men.

Anyway, if we tell him to stay back at his Dad's or his mom's. It can also get them close back, right?" ask Bang Rangga to Mama.

I shed tears, the sound of sobbing even wanted to escape my lips but I quickly held back.

I took a mobile phone to open an internet site to look for this problem, sure enough that it should not be if women who are not mahram live in a house with foreign men.

”Do not have a man go out with a woman (foreign) except with his mahram”.((HR. Bukhari from Ibn ‘Abbas).

In fact, it could also be that the fall became haram because me and them were not even blood related. My heart gets more and more shaken when it comes to reality.

I am so far from You that I do not know anything like this. I cried so much, not out of heartache with what Bang Rangga said.

But, to myself. That's how common I am as a human being. Wants to be respected but does not reflect to be respected.

I put the phone on the pillow and I covered my face with tears on my face. I did not listen to what Bang Rangga and Mama were talking about.

My curiosity instantly disappeared into the wind and then left without leaving a word.