Lord, Accept My Repentance

Father's Arrival

The sound of a cell phone alarm woke me from sleep, waking up to see the atmosphere of a night so quiet.

Open the door so slowly and walk towards the bathroom to pick up ablution. Kulirik towards Mama's room, Farhan also Bang Rangga.

Their lights are still out, immediately go into the bathroom and come out again with a fresh face.

I spread the prayer rug at night, two rakaat wrong repentance I did followed by tahajud.

I lay hands, begged and begged Him. I hope to be forgiven all my mistakes and accepted my worship.

Isakan escaped from my lips, I quickly caught it so that it was not heard by others later. It was easy for them to hear it especially in a quiet atmosphere like this.

After telling the story and complaining to Rabb, I folded back the prayer equipment and sat on the edge of the bed.

The face returned to make sure the tears had not left a trace that I did not want. I took the phone on the nightstand and looked for a number.

[Dad, pick up Nazwa in the morning, yes, before the office. Pick me up at Mama's house, ] I'll send you a message without waiting for a reply.

Of course Dad still sleeps this early, I turn off the quota and choose to lay the body by setting the alarm so as not to keep sleeping.

The sound of dawn reverberating, I immediately unlocked the door and put the face back on.

Actually, I didn't fall asleep. My mind invites me to discuss until I can't get back to sleep when there's still time.

Two rakaat obligation as a Muslim has been fulfilled, I heard the sound of the door opened also called my name.

After coming back again and again both also steadied the heart with what I took later.

I nodded and smiled, tidied up the prayer equipment and picked up the suitcase that used to be placed on top of the closet.

I opened the suitcase and put the clothes one by one into it, lucky not too many clothes I brought first.

I saw two bags of the same color in the corner of the closet, I dropped the body weight with the suitcase that was almost full.

I opened it and stared at the robe and the veil that Farhan had given me at the time, turning to lock the door again for fear that someone might suddenly enter.

"Bag," I muttered looking at myself from the reflection of the glass.

The M-sized style was suitable for my body, as well as a veil that was not too long but not too short as well.

"Nazwa, let's have breakfast!" call Mama and look at the clock on the phone.

"Yes, Ma. Just stop!" I half shouted. I packed the clothes and things that were still in the closet.

Empty as I came here, my phone and skincare I put in a backpack that I will bring too.

I looked at the room that had no more stuff in it, there was a sad feeling when I knew I was leaving this place.

Before I put my phone in my backpack, a reply from Dad, which was my message last night, I read it.

[Ready, Princess. At 7 o'clock Dad will be there, '] Daddy replied which made me smile a little.

Perhaps, it was not too happy and happy to read such a message from Dad. Because remembering this is the first time he gave me sweeter messages.

At six o'clock I finally decided to get out of the room after breathing more calmly.

I didn't want them to wait too long for me to have breakfast together, I opened the door and spread my eyes out to the living room.

Blank. There was no one, the sound of chewing water poured into the glass was heard from the kitchen.

Slowly and slowly, I turned my feet towards the kitchen. Deg-degan was inevitable.

"For all," my papa as usual in front of the bench.

"Pag-"

"Ohuk!"

Those who had been focusing on their food were staring directly at me with a different look on their faces.

I don't forget to use a kid's veil, a hand cuff and socks. It also included the letter from the one I read yesterday.

I was confused as to what to say, just being able to display a whimper and sit on the bench probably for the last time.

"Mama! Why, anyway? That's so bad!" I couldn't bear the end with their eyes.

"Ehem!" dehem Farhan thawed the atmosphere to return to how it was.

"Are you wearing a veil, son?" ask Mama carefully.

I smiled, "In Shaa Allah Ma, pray that Nazwa can be Istiqomah and become a better woman" I said and turned to look at Bang Rangga.

"I'm sorry, Bang if you also talk about Mama sassy Nazwa heard secretly. However, what you said is very true, said Kak Mawar.

It is inappropriate for a foreign woman to live one roof with a foreign man not even one person but two people." Bang Rangga's face looked different, maybe he felt guilty about what he said.

"For that," my finger turned my gaze back towards Mama, "Nazwa will move out of this house and return to Dad's house to start everything from scratch."

Mama looked surprised by what I said, I looked towards Farhan he was the same as Mama's expression.

Geck!

Geck!

Geck!

Before long, the sound of knocking made me stare at the door, "Just a minute, yeah," said the man who knew who was coming.

I took Dad to the dining room with Mama who turned out to be dripping her clear fur, Dad asked my stepmother to pick me up.

Soon I approached Mama and I hugged her, I held her so tightly as to strengthen her that I was still her son.

"Don't cry, yeah, Nazwa will come here a lot. Nazwa will still be Mama's son, don't be sad like Ma's gini," I said stroking Mama's shoulder.

"You, you want to leave Mama?" mama stared at me with her tears back.

I let go of the embrace, shaking my head and rubbing my face, erasing the trail of the clear grain.

"No Ma, Nazwa won't leave Mama. Only, Nazwa is also not possible to allow Nazwa and Bang Rangga and Farhan to get sins due to Nazwa," explained I hope Mama understood with my words earlier.

Mama was silent, her face was sad with slumped shoulders, "Ma ... Nazwa promised to come here often, really," persuaded me and made Mama look at me.

"Promise?"

"Yes, Ma. Nazwa promised, really," I said as I nodded.

Mama spread her arms signalling for me to get into her arms, I immediately hugged Mama's body back and a sobbing sound was heard again.

"Already, Ma. Nazwa will be fine. So does Mama," I said while stroking Mama's back to strengthen.

Fortunately, Mama will always use a veil if in the house. Even though we were in the house.

Mama is used to people or guests who suddenly come in for granted because her husband who is a rabid brings friends home to discuss work.

So, inevitably Mama must get used to using a veil if outside the room and I will also learn later to get used to doing it.