Look At Me Once
Surrender to God
In order to fulfill his wife's request, Alwi had to leave Anisa despite her heavy heart. He awaits the arrival of his mother to replace him to take care of Anisa. But before leaving the hospital, Alwi decided to go to the hospital mosque to calm his immortality.
Alwi put his forehead on the prayer mat that stretched in front of him, the tears had dripped down along with the drops of water from his face and hair.
After saying his greetings, Alwi raised his hands high up his heart, he opened the prayer at his Dhuhanya prayer by asking for forgiveness first to Robnya.
“Yes Allah, Yes Jabbar .. This is Your servant, one of the billions of millions of self-destructed sinners, who only comes to You when in need of something. The number one sinner in the case of complaining, the sinner whom You always cover his disgrace from the eyes of other human eyes.”
“Yes Allah, the Most Compassionate and Merciful. Servant asks forgiveness for all sins, I beg forgiveness for my imperfections as husband and father for my wife and children.”
“Yes Allah .. for whatever happened yesterday and today, open your hearts to receive it. If things don't improve tomorrow, please suffice yourself not to blame anyone. Because I believe everything that happens thanks to Your intervention and for all the happiness that is still covered in question marks, I believe there is something bigger and better that You have prepared for me.”
“Yes Allah ... You are the Most Love. Servant never knew that the accident of that time would bring the servant to the fate of marriage is so strange.” Alwi with all his might to hold his cry so as not to become more, he remembered the accident five years ago.
“But wishing a wife who is very much loved for reasons of promise is very unreasonable, Yes Rob. I cannot force my feelings to share my heart. O God, You know me more than myself. I'm just an ordinary man who has lust, I don't intend to hurt anyone.”
“Hamba is reluctant to face the wife of the servant even the whole family of the servant, even the servant does not know the existence of Lathifa. The woman who is carrying a slave child in her womb. What should I do, O God? Where else should I look for his whereabouts?”
“Yes Allah I believe your destiny is far more beautiful than all the plans I have planned, I leave my whole life and death to You, O Allah. Hasbunallah wanikmal representative ... Hasbunallah wanikmal representative ... Hasbunallah wanikmal vice.”
While Alwi was focusing on the remembrance he said, he felt a soft pat on his right shoulder.
Alwi looked back and raised his head, he was surprised to see someone he knew so well and respected, his teacher. “Ustadz.”
“May I sit next to you?” ask ustadz Hamdan with his calm face.
Alwi nodded his head and shifted his sitting position giving room for his teacher to sit down.
“I came to the Masjid before visiting my nephew, but instead saw a young man whining to his Lord, looking very pitiful,” said ustadz Hamdan made Alwi bow his head deeply knowing who was meant by his teacher.
“I'm like seeing someone else in Alwi Husein Ibrahim, a santri who once lodged in Abah's Athaillah boarding school first.” Ustadz Hamdan stared intently at the unflappable Alwi before him.
“Everyone has a problem, not only you who have a problem.” persemat ustadz Hamdan soft.
“Iya, Bi,” replied Alwi.
“God created this life to test us, telling us in the face of all that is? Are we grateful for the blessings God has given us?” ustadz Hamdan shook his head looking at Alwi's pathetic appearance.
“Random Surah Ali Imran verse 139!” ustadz Hamdan's orders to Alwi are still silent.
“Audzubillahiminasyaitonirojim, bismilbornohmanirohim ..” Alwi read the taawudz before beginning to recite the verse requested by the teacher.
"وَلَا تَهِنُوا۟ وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا۟ وَأَنتُمُ ٱلْأَعْلَوْنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ"
(And do not be (feel) weak, and do not (after all) grieve, for you are the highest (highest), if you are a believer)
“Abi sure you know the meaning of the verse,” said ustadz Hamdan and was replied with a nod by Alwi.
“You know, sadness is in the heart and weakness is in the body." Ustadz Hamdan pointed at his chest and his body alternated. "Try it, we've heard people advise us inside and out. Usually they say, patient yes .. strong yes.”
“In that verse also Allah says ‘wa la tahinu wa la tahzanu’ because Allah knows when we are sad not only his heart, but certainly to his body is also weak. And Allah said, that his heart was strengthened so that outside it did not appear weak.” Ustadz Hamdan took a quick glance at the reverent Alwi listening.
“Why is that so? It may be sad, but don't get outside we look pathetic. Because our enemies will be happy to see it if we are weak.”
“Why can't prolonged sadness? Allah continues in the verse, 'wa antumul-a'launa ing mu`minin' A believer of high degree he will expect grace and reward from Him.”
“Even not only in the world but in the afterlife too, just sometimes invisible and we do not realize it.”
Alwi was speechless feeling slapped with an explanation from his teacher, all this time he was slumped over the trials that were sweeping his staircase.
“Times just like that should be explained!” insinuator Ustadz Hamdan was accompanied by his crisp laughter.
“Whatever night, morning will surely arrive. And as long as any age, it will eventually enter the burrow. Life is just waiting for time, Al! Everything must have its time even with different causes. Leave everything to Allah alone.”
After saying goodbye to his teacher Alwi rushed to drive his car to the place he often went.
Arriving in front of the restaurant, Alwi immediately parked his car and entered the restaurant. Some employees who already knew him greeted him kindly, although only replied with a nod by Alwi.
“Assalamualaikum, Sir.” An employee rushed over to Alwi when he saw her coming.
“Wa’alaikummussalam, how? Any word from him?” alwi asked the employee who was none other than Maya.
Alwi sighed harshly. “Astaghfirullah, Yes Allah ..”
“Ya already, if there is any news from Lathifa directly tell me,” pinta Alwi fast. “I'm sorry, assalamualaikum.”
“Wa’alaikummussalam,” replied Maya and several employees who were around.
“What is it that Lathifa has really disappeared without any news, Ma'am?” ask one of the employees to Maya.
“Entailah, do not interfere in other people's problems!” maya Tegur.
“Please once Mr. Alwi, almost every day come to this place looking for the existence of mbak Latifah. But always go home with disappointment,” chirps other employees mental backs of their new boss who is still visible behind the glass door.
“He said Anisa was also very sick, even though he was a good person. Even willing to buy back this restaurant at a price twice that of the previous buyer,” oceh other employees.
“Hust! You guys, you like to gossip! Get back to work! What to fire!” gertak Maya was upset.
Maya is given the trust by Anisa to hold the Hafa restaurant during Lathifa's departure, they believe that someday Lathifa and Hana's mother will definitely return to this place, however, this restaurant is the only relic of his late father.
Maya looks at Alwi's car slowly away from the restaurant yard, she feels concerned about the situation that is happening to her boss. After making sure all the employees returned to work and did not gossip again, Maya returned to her activities.
Elsewhere, Alwi was already in front of a simple stall where young people were hanging out. Across the street there is a building that looks ordinary, but in it there are many young people united to channel their respective hobbies.
“Father want to go in there again?” ask the owner of the stall who saw Alwi continue to look at the building.
“Are you sure you never saw Lathifa go in there?” ask Alwi politely.
“How do I make you believe my words?” ask the owner of the stall without stopping his activity which is giving some dirty dishes on the table.
“If you want to prove it, please just go inside! But get ready you come out with a battered body,” said the owner of the stall made Alwi remember the incident a few months ago when he was silent by Zidan when looking for the whereabouts of Lathifa in their headquarters.
“If one day mother sees Lathifa coming here, please immediately contact me yes, Mom,” pinta Alwi before leaving the place.
Alwi looked closely at the building in front of him before returning to drive his car, not knowing how many times he had come to that place. But just the same, he did not get a little news about Lathifa.
“If you don't want polygamy, why not just reject the same openly Lo's wife! So the guy is not strict, the ends want also a wife of two! Basic brengs*k!”
“Astaghfirullah!” Alwi again beristigfar, he again remembered the curse of Zidan who continued to sound in his ears.
Alwi could not tell and explain everything, Alwi could not answer by saying that he could not refuse Anisa's request because of one and the other. Although finally Alwi also had to bear the burden of feeling.
Even until this moment, Alwi had no desire for polygamy. But until this moment also he had to carry out his mandate and promise to always make Anisa happy, including obeying all her prayers.
For the past six months, Alwi had also set aside his time to search for Latifa's whereabouts within the city, he couldn't possibly go out of town leaving Anisa lying in the hospital.
Dddrr...
The sound of a mobile phone ringing alwi from his daydream, he pulled over his car and grabbed his cellphone which was in the passenger seat next to him.
“Umi,” said Alwi when he saw the name written on the phone that lit up.
“Assalamualaikum, Umi,” Alwi said after receiving the call.
TIIIIIINNNN
TIIIIIINNNN
The sound of a loud horn from the opposite direction made Alwi surprised and dropped his phone, without having seen what happened, an accident could not be avoided.
BRACKET
TIIIIIINNNN
‘Allahuakbar.’
“Innalilah!
