Look At Me Once

Jealousy (Lathifa)

Here they were, sitting on the ground with a piece of newspaper surrounding two mounds of earth with a sprinkling of various flowers on it. They prayed for the late Hadi and the late Hafiz led by Rusdi.

"If you may know, what did Pakdhe Hadi die of, Budhe?" rusdi asked after ending his prayer reading.

"Heart attack" Lathifa replied briefly.

Rusdi glanced at Lathifa, feeling that his cousin had still not received his arrival. They are cousins, but Lathifa used to call Rusdi and his sisters by the call of om and aunt, because their age is far different.

"Emh, is it because of this problem?" rusdi asked quietly, afraid if his guess was right.

"Yes." Yeah."

But Rusdi had to feel the pain in his heart, again his family became the cause of his pakde death.

"Sorry ...." Rusdi lowered his head even more, feeling ashamed of Hana and Lathifa.

"Don't blame yourself, son. All hard to be the destiny line of your pack. Mate, death, and sustenance, everything was recorded before man was born into this world" said Hana calmly.

"A month after we moved into the restaurant, there were two people with thug-like appearance coming over and charging us a debt of over a hundred million. In fact, we feel we have no debt to anyone." Hana paused her speech, she inhaled deeply the air to supply oxygen into her lungs.

"You know .. they don't come empty-handed. They showed proof of loan with guaranteed Hafa Resto certificate." Hana closed her eyes, her chest feeling claustrophobic recalling the events of that day.

Rusdi and his wife sit quietly listening to Hana's story, as well as Anisa who has never heard the cause of the departure of the mad father.

"Whatever we refuse and deny it, the more persistent the debt collectors are to suppress and threaten us. Suddenly he fell while holding his chest." Hannah stopped her story.

Hana's hand was busy wiping the tombstone in front of her, her eyes never separated from the name written on the tombstone. Hoping that by looking at him, he could shake off his longing. However, he can now only channel through prayer only.

"We took my father to the hospital. However ... God has other plans, on the way, God calls him first."

'Oh Allah . I am longing for the one whom You have called before me. However, sometimes it is very difficult for me not to cry every time I remember it. I just wanted to be hugged and leaned on his shoulder for a little while, telling him what we had been through in his absence. He's the only person I want now.' Hana rubbed her dripping tears down her cheeks.

Lathifa who saw her mother crying tightened her seat and hugged her mother from the side. She knew how sad her mother felt, only that her mother always hid her sadness in front of Lathifa.

Anisa also shed her tears, she is grateful that she still has a complete family. Father, mother, although they often leave it for business to various countries.

"When did Hafiz die, Budhe? I'm sorry Rusdi couldn't stop at that time." Rusdi broke the silence, he felt bad. He spent a dozen years wandering around and did not know the situation of his extended family in Indonesia.

"About four years ago. Hafiz wanted to save a pregnant woman who was about to be hit by a car. However, it is a pity that the two cannot avoid the disaster."

"I-I mean Mom, both of them died?" asked Anisa, somehow she felt curious to listen to the story more deeply.

Hana shook her head. "Only Hafiz is not saved. Ha-hafiz died at the scene before ambulances came to the scene." Hana.

"Then what about the woman and the baby?" Anisa is really curious, she feels this story is almost similar to her past story.

Hana shook her head again, unable to make her voice just to answer Anisa's question.

"They survived, right?" Anisa was worried, she was afraid that Hafiz was the one who saved her first.

"Don't know. I did not allow my mother to meet the woman's family. Neither did you tell me about the woman and her baby." Lathifa answered Anisa's question, replacing her mother.

Anisa hopes that Hafiz is not the young man who used to be involved in an accident with her, but on the other hand she feels afraid if Hafiz is the young man. What did Hana and Lathifa respond to about her, would they still accept Anisa as she is today?

...*****...

Since the incident at the funeral, Anisa often pensively thinking about who the young man who used to help her. But the information he got was not very helpful. The hospital closed the information about the young man at the request of the patient's family.

Alwi also did not know any info other than the father of that person. Alwi and Anisa are always looking for information on the whereabouts of the father, only armed with a photo that he took when he met first. However, until now they had yet to discover the whereabouts of the young man's father.

Anisa walks to her bedroom balcony, leaning against the balcony railing. He raised his face, his eyes straight at the full moon shining brightly looked beautiful even though cloudy clouds surrounded the surroundings without a single star accompanying him.

Anisa felt a big hand wrapped in a sweet circular maroon shirt around her waist, a head stuck to her shoulder and kissed her neck which was still blocked by her hijab.

"Darling, why are you daydreaming?" ask Alwi.

Anisa clasped her husband's hand on her stomach.he opened her eyes without smiling, even though she knew her husband would not see her smile.

"I'm okay, Mom. Maybe just tired."

"But, lately mas often see you daydreaming. What was? same story as me!"

"Maybe it's just a feeling."

"Is the full moon more beautiful than your husband?"

Anisa did not respond. Alwi tightened his embrace.

"Can you be jealous of the full moon? You ignored me because of his existence."

"Sorry, Mas. I didn't mean to ignore you." Anisa twisted her body so that it faced her husband.

"The moon is beautiful to look at, its light so bright it shines on all corners of the earth. Especially at a full moon like this, look at it! Beautiful isn't?" alwi asked looking into his wife's eyes.

Anisa was hypnotized by her husband's eyeballs, she fell silent and nodded her head.

"He was just an inanimate object that would not be able to shine without the help of the sun. But they complement each other. For me, you are the moon for bright nights. Mas will be the sun that will always divide the rays of gold for you. Ana uhibopen please, Anisa Princess Akbar."

Alwi pulled Anisa's body into his arms, Alwi closed his eyes, inhaling deeply the fragrance of his wife. Without them noticing, there was someone staring at them with an injured look.

"Are you also this romantic to Lathifa, Mas?" anisa asked but Alwi did not respond.

Lathifa who intends to go to the rooftop, hoping by looking at the full moon can bring up ideas in her head to write her novel, but she must get a slightly disturbing view of her heart.

'I am like a cloud that longs for the sun, you. I thought you were a dream that I could pursue, but in fact you are the sun that is even hard for me to see.'

Lathifa stopped her steps, she looked at the husband and wife across the street who were standing hugging each other under the bright light of the full moon.

'I am also a woman who has a weak heart. I need your hand too! I also need your shoulder for me to lean on for a while.'

Lathifa undoes her intention to go to the rooftop and turns her body past from there.