Look At Me Once

Should Return?

Ting!

Slowly the elevator door shifted open, Alwi pushed out the wheelchair that supported his wife's weak body down the hospital lobby.

Both of their parents also accompanied the two, there were also two nurses who monitored Anisa's condition during the trip.

Hard enough to get permission from the doctor to take Anisa out of the hospital, Alwi tirelessly continued to plead with the team of doctors who handle his wife.

After being observed for several days, Anisa's condition stabilized and the Doctor allowed her to travel on condition that there should be a nurse who kept an eye on Anisa.

Despite having to use an oxygen hose on her nose, Anisa looks more cheerful than in previous days. For a long time she missed the free atmosphere out there, five months more Anisa imprisoned in the veil of the hospital building that separates her from nature.

Raiyan was already waiting with his car in front of the lobby door, without lingering they rushed towards the destination.

“You're okay, Darling?” asked Alwi softly, he felt anxious to see his wife from the beginning just silent throughout the journey.

“I'm fine, Mas. Don't worry,” Anisa era slowly, her eyes are still focused on looking at tall buildings from behind the car glass.

“A long time ago I did not see the beauty of the city, Mas.”

“Are you very tired of being in the hospital? Next time we go for a walk again yes,” invite Alwi to console his wife's heart even though it is very difficult for him to realize.

“What could there be next time?” anisa asked without turning her head.

Hearing his wife's question at once Alwi's heart ached, as if there was a sharp object that cut his heart. “Honey, rest assured God will lift the pain in your body.”  

“I believe, Mas. Allah is the Most Healing of All Diseases.”

After saying that sentence, the atmosphere in the car returned to silence. Anisa again enjoyed the scenery out there, while Alwi continued to hold tightly to his wife's hand while thinking in his heart.

Armed with the address given by Maya, as well as a little direction from Anisa, they arrive at the eating area, the last house of Lathifa's father and brother is located.

Raiyan parked his car in front of the funeral door, everyone one by one got out of the car. So did Anisa who was helped by her husband.

“Slow-slow, Al!” umi Hanifa's orders when she saw Alwi carrying his wife to be transferred to a wheelchair.

“Iya, Umi.”

“Assalamu’alaikum ‘ala ahlid diyaar.” Everyone said a greeting to the creatures of the housing residents.

*(may salvation be plentiful to the inhabitants of the tomb)

Alwi pushed Anisa's wheelchair slowly, they walked deeper into the whereabouts of the intended tomb.

Because Anisa had previously made a pilgrimage there with Lathifa and Hana's mother, they had no trouble finding the existence of the tomb.

Alwi crouched beside a mound of earth filled with wild grass and dry leaves on it, he looked at the name engraved on a tombstone in front of him, ‘Kusuma Hadi bin Ahmad’.

“Assalamualaikum, Sir. I came with my family, sorry I just had a pilgrimage to the tomb of the father,” said Alwi while wiping the tombstone with his fingers.

His gaze turned to the mound of land next to him, the state was the same. Many unkempt grasses and dried leaves on it, Hafiz Kusuma Hadi bin Kusuma Hadi, that's the name that is engraved clearly on the marble tombstone.

Umi Hanifa who saw the sadness on her son's face walked over and patted Alwi's shoulder slowly. “Pray them, Al.”

After clearing the dried leaves and letting the weeds grow on the two mounds, Alwi and his family read Yasin's letter and prayed for the two deceased.

They deliberately did not remove or clean the weeds because the grass that grew on the grave was always thinking, asking for forgiveness for the mayyung that was in the tomb, this will ease the torment of the grave.

But it is different if the grass grows very much such as to cover the physical grave, then tidying it for the purpose of treatment is not why.

After praying, they rushed back to the hospital for fear that Anisa's condition would decrease if she was outside for too long.

“Anisa said, Lathifa used to visit the graves of her father and brother. Even almost never absent, every Sunday he took the time to visit,” said Alwi as he rubbed his wife's head asleep beside him, he remembered the condition of his second tomb that looks unkempt.

“So papa had a conversation with the keeper of the tomb, he said if it had been a long time no one visited the two tombs,” timpal papa Akbar.

“Do they not want to see me again?” alwi asked softly, there was pain from his voice.

“We're still trying to find their whereabouts, Al. You just focus on the health of Anisa and yourself.” Abi Husein joined, he also did not have the heart to see the condition of his son who increasingly looks sad.

“Pray that Lathifa and her mother and your baby are well, God will protect them wherever they are. We leave everything to Allah, Al,” said Umi Hanifa encouraging her son.

“La haula wa la quwwata illa billahil 'aliyyil azhimi ..”

“No power and effort except by the power of Allah the Most High, the Most Great,” continued umi Hanifa.

...****************...

Elsewhere, Ibu Ida sits opposite Lathifa and Hana's mother in their rented house.

Lathifa was silent and did not speak much, while Ida's mother and Hana's mother were discussing the issue of residents protesting their presence in the village.

“You guys just move to the city, Han. There is my son there, he can help you both,” said Bu Ida slowly, he just returned from a meeting of residents at the house of Mr. Lurah.

Many residents want Lathifa and her mother expelled from their village before Lathifa gives birth, so as not to give disgrace to the village.

Although both Ida and Hana have explained that Lathifa did not become pregnant out of wedlock, but still many residents do not believe this and consider Bu Hana and Lathifa to lie for their own sake and cover up their disgrace.

“I follow how Lathifa, Da. But whether the child wants to be invited to the city” asked Bu Hana while glancing at her daughter.

“There's no way lai anymore, Han. I'm afraid that the anger of the citizens will flare up and anything happens with you guys.”

The two middle-aged women stared at Lathifa simultaneously. Both of them were silent waiting for the reaction Lathifa would give.

“What to go to town?” asked Lathifa blankly.

“Iya, Nduk. Wouldn't it be better if you live in the city, you can check your content. All this time you only checked on the village midwife, it was not enough. You need to check into the hospital, at least to the clinic in the city, Nduk.” Ida persuades Lathifa, she already considers Lathifa like her own daughter.

“Village midwives are enough, Mom. In the city it definitely costs a lot more,” said Lathifa gave an excuse.

“If you are thinking about the cost problem, don't worry. Insha Allah mother or son mother can help you.” Ida's mother continued to convince Lathifa.

“But, Bu-”

“Sstt, no need to think about it anymore,” said Ida's mother quickly cut Lathifa's sentence. He could have guessed that Lathifa would give a thousand and one reasons to reject his intention.

“Lusa aunty mom will visit, all of you come to the city. Think of the baby in your womb, Nduk. In the city you will get much better care.”

“Lay Lathifa think again, yes, Bu.”

“Don't think too much, Nduk. I've spoken to the mother's son if the day after tomorrow you will come with him to the city.”

‘Is there no other way, do I have to go back?’