Look At Me Once

Disillusioned

At 01:00 in the morning, Lathifa woke up and blinked her eyes several times to adjust the intensity of the light entering her retina.

“Eugh!” Lathifa stretched her stiff muscles and began to gather her consciousness.

The deg!

Lathifa's body froze as her eyes caught the figure of her husband's face, a face she had always admired. But because of the admiration it also managed to make him fall into the abyss that made him hurt.

Not a physical wound that could be seen by the eyes of others, but a wound in his heart that would be embedded in his head probably for the rest of his life

“Sstt! Akh!” lathifa groaned feeling pain in her sensitive area.

Lathifa spread her gaze across the room, realizing that she was not in her room at the moment and was still in her husband's room with her honey.

Slowly Lathifa got up from her sleep and began to descend from the bed very slowly, afraid to wake her husband who was still asleep beside her.

Heartbroken and enduring the pain all over her body, Lathifa picked up her clothes strewn across the floor and put them on quickly, she did not care if her clothes looked neat or not.

Lathifa just wanted to get out of that room immediately. Her heart felt pain in the image of what her husband did to her a few hours ago.

Brak!

Lathifa's body accidentally nudged and dropped the medicine box that she had not been able to use.

“Ish! You cold, insolent man! I hate you!” meaning to the husband even though he knew Alwi would not listen to his meaning.

Without clearing the medicine box that had some contents splattered on the floor, Lathifa immediately dragged her feet away from the place without looking back at her husband. He did not bother about the condition of the room that looks a little messy.

Lathifa came down the stairs in a hurry despite having to endure the pain, with a staggering step she walked towards her room.

 

Chequek!

Lathifa opened the door of her room and entered it after closing and locked it back. Without turning on her room light, Lathifa walked towards the bathroom and entered into it.

Lathifa stood under the shower and lit the water until it washed over her body which was still wrapped in clothes she had just been wearing.

Lathifa's body slumped to the floor just like there was no bone supporting her body.it did not take long her cries broke without being able to last any longer.

Lathifa weeping roared spilling out all the pain, anger, hate, disappointment that mixed into one. The bathroom and the cold shower above her bear witness to how fragile and ruined she is today.

“I hate you, Alwi! Hate it! Hate to!” racau Lathifa in between her tears and then she grabbed her hair hoping to reduce the pain in her heart.

‘I love you, Anisa.’

“Akh! Brengsw! Basic dog*n!” maki Lathifa as Alwi's voice rang in her ears.

Which woman will feel fine when she hears her man mention another woman's name when they are together, even though the other woman is another wife of her husband.

“I don't hate you because you don't reciprocate this feeling, But I'm disappointed that you see me as someone else, not myself!” lathifa groaned still with her cries.

“Congratulations, you broke my heart! People say, to heal the wound we must stop scratching the wound so as not to further aggravate the wound. And I will do just that, from now onwards, I promise I will strive to remove this taste for you!”

Lathifa stood up and picked up the towel hanging from the bathroom wall, he began to calm down and clear his mind and then carry out his obligation to clean up after completing his duties as a real wife who has been delayed for more than 9 months.

Indeed, Lathifa admitted that without realizing she had been entangled in a love that her husband never wanted, but Lathifa could not control her feelings that grew just like that.

“Yes Allah, is it wrong if I love someone else's property? But I don't think it's me asking for it, even if I could I'd like to choose not to meet him.” Lathifa prayed after finishing her evening prayer.

“Help me Yes Rob...Remove this quite torturous feeling from my heart. If You do not want to lose it, then just give more strength to me, so that I can love him in the heart without having to have his heart.”

Lathifa wiped away her tears, she laid her body on her soft bed without letting go of her face and slowly fell into her dreamland.

02.30 in the morning.

Seen a car stopped right in front of Alwi's house, shortly afterwards someone came out of the car with a small suitcase in his hand.

“Thank you for driving me home. Sorry to bother you guys,” Anisa told the car owner.

“Sama-sama, Ma'am. We do not feel bothered, instead we feel very happy to be able to chat with Mbak Putri longer, after all our house is also one way,” reply Anisa colleagues from the car.

“One more time thank you, Ma'am. Next time stop by my house, yes.” Anisa smiled towards her interlocutor.

“Iya, Ma'am. We will definitely stop by the Princess' house. Then we say goodbye first, yes.”

“Be careful on the road, Ma'am, Mas.”

After making sure her co-worker's car was away, Anisa rushed inside the house. Anisa and her team-mates did not stay out of town because there were obstacles in the middle of the event that was postponed for the next few months.

Not wanting to trouble her husband, Anisa plans to spend the night on campus. But one of her friends is picked up by her husband and happens to be their house one way and they offer a ride to Anisa, so Anisa came home with them even though she initially refused because she felt bad because it was troublesome for them.

Without making any sound, Anisa managed to open the door and enter her house. Then he pushed his suitcase slowly and stepped quietly in the darkness towards his room upstairs.

“Why can it be this mess, Mas? why is there a medicine box all in the room?” ask Anisa to her husband who is still asleep.

“Tumben once you this hour, Mas!” nagel Anisa while tidying her husband's clothes and then she glanced at her husband who was not at all disturbed by his arrival. Usually Alwi is very sensitive to the slightest sound.

 

After tidying up her room, Anisa went inside the bathroom to clean herself up. He felt his body was very sticky because last night had not had time to bathe in the hotel where they would stay.

20 Minutes later Anisa came out of the bathroom already changed into her sleeping pajama suit.

Anisa walks to bed to wake her husband up to run tahajud together.

“Mas, wake up three.” Anisa shook slowly the body of Alwi who was sleeping behind her still wrapped in a thick blanket.

“Mas, let's get up. Your tumben is hard to wake up.” Anisa patiently woke up her husband.

But felt there was not the slightest movement from Alwi, Anisa flicked her blanket and was surprised to see her husband's shirtless body with some half-drying wounds on his arm and bloodstains on the sheets and blankets that had dried up.

“Astaghfirullah, Mom! What happened to you?”

Anisa panicked and undoed her intention to wake her husband up, she took the medicine box she had taken and took anti-septic to clean the wounds on her husband's hands.

After she finished helping put on her sleeping pajamas for her husband, Anisa decided to pray tahajud herself without her husband accompanying her.

She wondered why her husband could get the wound, which she thought was like a piece of glass. ‘Is it possible yesterday Mas Alwi had another fight with Lathifa?’

Anisa felt anxious because before she left her husband was having problems with the honey.

“Tomorrow I ask mas Alwi or Lathifa directly,” said Anisa then she laid her body and went to sleep next to her husband.

Alwi woke up when he heard the sound of qiraah from the mosque not far from his home. He gathered his consciousness and felt his head still dizzy.

“Sst!”

“Astaghfirullah.” Alwi has the distinction of remembering yesterday's incident that happened to him at the Swiss Resto, and the next incident he remembers vaguely.

When he saw his first wife sleeping beside him, Alwi smiled with relief thinking that last night he did not dream that Anisa was the one who helped him from the influence of the demonic medicine given to Chaca to trap him.

 

Alwi gently rubbed Anisa's peaceful face in her sleep. “Thank you, Darling.”

The cup!

Alwi kissed Anisa's forehead before heading to the bathroom to clean herself up before going to the mosque to congregate for morning prayers.

In the morning Anisa was busy preparing breakfast at the dinner table while waiting for her husband to arrive in her room. But he looks restless because he did not find the existence of honey, he was afraid something happened to Lathifa.

“Mbok, did yesterday something happen at home during my time away?” asked Anisa carefully to mbok Ijah who was helping her.

“Nothing happened at home, Ma'am. After driving Mbak Nisa away, Den Alwi went straight to the office and I do not know what time Den Alwi came home,” I replied slowly.

“Oh,” says Anisa feels relieved. “Then Lathifa where, Mbok? Tumben not out of room.”

“Oh, if Lathifa had gone by dawn, Ma'am. When I asked he said there was something Mbak Lathif had to take at his mother's restaurant.”

Anisa felt a little strange, it was not usual for Lathifa to go early in the morning like that even without saying goodbye to her. ‘Maybe Lathifa doesn't know that I've been home since last night.’

“Oh yes, Ma'am. Yesterday Mbak Lathifa locked herself all day in her room, even missed her lunch and dinner,” said mbok Ijah not because she wanted to complain but felt worried about the state of Lathifa.

“Thank you for watching Lathifa and for telling me, Mbok. Maybe Lathifa is busy with her tasks.”

“I already consider Mbak Nisa and Mbak Lathif like my own son, Mbak.”

Anisa smiled hearing the sincere words from me that had accompanied her since the first time she entered this house.

“Where is the boy?” asked Alwi who had just arrived in the dining room and did not see the whereabouts of his young wife.

“Have been gone since, Mas. Maybe Lathifa was in a hurry and did not have time to say goodbye,” said Anisa calmly saw the face of her husband who still looks upset.

“Always do something at will!” pissed Alwi.

“Mas...” Anisa looked at her husband affectionately, she did not want Alwi and Lathifa to always fight.

“Protect him continue.”

Anisa shook her head at her husband's childish behavior, something she had never seen before Lathifa's presence in the middle of her small family.