Look At Me Once

Opting to Go

Under the light of the early morning city, a young woman walked blankly through the still quiet suburbs of the bustle of the city.

I don't know how long he has been walking without direction and purpose, just wearing makeshift clothes and a black backpack hanging from his small back.

The woman was none other than Lathifa, after crying all night she decided to get out of this luxurious house that had been her residence for almost a year.

With a disheveled face as well as puffy and flushed eyes, Lathifa continued to walk regardless of the few people who were staring strangely at her.

Until his steps stopped right in front of the ‘Hafa Resto’ page owned by his family.

The restaurant was dark and closed, Lathifa decided to sit on the floor right in front of the entrance without any intention to call her mother who must have been awake and was busy preparing with other employees.

The time showed at 06.00 in the morning, just a few minutes Latifah was pensive with his blank look, the sound of a key was played and someone opened the door of the resto from inside.

“Astaghfirullah! Allah hu Akbar!”

Ms. Hana who opened the door was immediately surprised to find someone sitting behind her.

“Thif,” call Bu Hana who recognizes his daughter's body even from behind, let alone Bu Hana recognize the backpack used by Lathifa, the backpack given by her late son, Hafiz.

Ms. Hana called her daughter again because she did not find an answer. “Lathif!”

Still not getting an answer, Ms. Hana approached Lathifa and how surprised she was when she saw her daughter's face pale white with puffy eyes.

“Yes Allah, Lathifa you why, Son?” ask Ms. Hana worried.

Ms. Hana shook her daughter's body slowly to wake Lathifa from her daydream.

“Lathif, aware Nak!”

“Mother ...,” call Lathifa clean, immediately her cry broke when she saw her mother's face right in front of her.

Without asking any more, Hana's mother directly pulled her daughter into her arms. As Lathifa's cry grew, Hana's mother tightened her embrace.

A few hours earlier.

Lathifa who was still asleep curled up in her seat, woke up when she heard a noise from outside her room. He saw the clock on the desk at 04:15 in the morning.

Vaguely Lathifa heard the conversation from outside her room.

‘I want to wake Lathifa first, Mas.’

‘No need, later he also wake up by himself.’

‘I want to say goodbye first, Mas. Later Lathifa confused looking for us.’

‘He already knows if we want to pick up your parents at the airport. Don't bother him, let him rest.’

‘Yes already, I say through WA only. All of you said that he did not need to make breakfast, we will buy his breakfast.’

Lathifa refocused on the paper in front of her, ignoring the sound of the conversation outside her room.

With trembling hands, Lathifa began to ink on the white paper, she began to compose words into sentences, and she continued again until it became a paragraph.

After finishing her writing, Lathifa grabbed her black backpack. He took the wallet out of the bag along with the keys of the motorbike and the car that was on him.

Lathifa took out the contents of her purse, she took out all the cards given by her husband, including several hundred thousand bills from her purse, and she put them on the paper with the message she wrote earlier.

Lathifa took her laptop and put it in her backpack, she also put some books she needed including both books about her pregnancy.

“I'm sorry, Ma'am. I chose to go,” Lathifa said staring at her portrait with Anisa. The portrait they had taken while away together, Lathifa took the picture frame and the only photo he displayed in his room and put it in his backpack.

Lathifa increasingly rounded her resolve, she did not want to be the third person in the household of the woman she respected, namely Anisa.

Although he regretted his decision to accept Anisa's request, Lathifa thought it was not too late to stop this mistake.

After making sure not to hear the sound of Alwi and Anisa again, Lathifa rushed to reach for her backpack and her cellphone did not forget she took the envelope that was still scattered on the floor last night.

Lathifa left the house without bringing any of Alwi and Anisa's gifts.

Lathifa stopped right in front of the gate of her house, she looked at the large house that held some of the memories of her life. A house he may never go to again, a house he may miss in the future.

“I'm sorry, Ma'am. I hope Mbak Anisa will live a happy, peaceful life with Mas Alwi,” said Lathifa Lirih accompanied by a drop of tears that fell down her cheeks.