Look At Me Once

Does He Hate me?

"I accept the marriage and marriage of Lathifatunnisa bint Kusuma Hadi with the dowry paid in cash!"

In one breath, Alwi uttered the sacred promise of marriage in a loud and resolute voice echoing throughout the room.

Lathifa's body stiffened, there was a thunderous strange feeling she had never felt before. One tear fell down her cheek.

Wrapped in a white kebaya dress complete with a shar'i hijab and a small crown on his head, adding to the aura of the beauty of a Lathifa who is famous as a tomboy girl was transformed into a princess.

Anisa who saw Lathifa silently silently shifted her seat closer to the girl who had just officially become her honeymoon.

Anisa pulls Lathifa by the hand and leads her to kiss her husband's hand.

Alwi was silent for a moment, he stared fixedly at his first wife's face as if asking her permission.

Anisa nodded her head and smiled gently as a sign of blessing and ridho from her.

Alwi recited the prayer directly above Lathifa's head and kissed her forehead, then she turned to kiss Anisa's forehead sitting next to Lathifa.

Hana squinted her eyes at the incident in front of her, to her knowledge Alwi was an only child then why did he kiss another woman in front of his wife? In fact, when Ijab qobul just said.

In accordance with Lathifa's request, the wedding was held at night in a restaurant that has been transformed in such a way by Anisa assisted by Lathifa and her employees into a beautiful room for Lathifa's wedding.

A simple wedding only with a qobul ijab without a reception, which was only attended by Hana, Anisa, Sabrina, Raiyan, Hafa Resto employees, as well as some local residents as a witness.

Zidan's? No matter where the young man went, since the incident that night the relationship between Lathifa and Zidan became tenuous even until now Zidan had never met Lathifa.

After the show ended, Hana let go of her daughter to live with her husband. He looked at their car which was disappearing into the darkness of the night.

Raiyan who sat behind the wheel playing music broke the silence created by the silence of the occupants of the car.

Alwi who was sitting in the passenger seat next to the steering wheel just fell silent silently leaning his body and closed his eyes. I don't know what's on his mind.

In the back seat there was Anisa who was asleep maybe she was exhausted, next to her Lathifa was just sitting quietly silently looking out the window.

Time seemed to be spinning so fast, Lathifa felt like just yesterday she told Anisa that she was willing to be her honeymoon, a few days later, she said, a handsome man of Arab descent comes to the restaurant looking for his mother to propose to him.

The day for the first time Lathifa met her husband. After that, the man never contacted or appeared in front of him. All preparations ranging from fitting clothes, choosing a wedding ring, and preparing all sorts of things because Anisalah who has arranged everything very well.

In fact, Anisa did not complain about anything when she had to spend money with a nominal of hundreds of millions of rupiah as her husband's wedding dowry.

The money used to pay the debts of Lathifa's parents, originally only amounted to one hundred million rupiah, but somehow the story is now nominally almost two hundred million rupiah.

Actually, it was not Lathifa's parents who had the debt. But because Rendi was Hadi's nephew, Lathifa's parents had to bear it.

Time shows at 22:00. The car they were riding in entered a large gate showing a luxurious two-story building with a spacious courtyard decorated with various ornamental plants along the entrance.

Lathifa repeatedly blinked her eyes. He was amazed to see the house in front of him, so beautiful and elegant. Although the house he lived with his parents used to be quite luxurious and large, but nothing compared to the house that was dominated by black and white standing in front of him.

"Al, we have arrived" said Raiyan to wake Alwi.

"Honey let's get up, we're home." Alwi twisted her body backwards shaking Anisa's hand gently trying to wake her up.

Anisa who felt her sleep kept her eyes open. "Hmm, is it home yet, Mom? Yeah, let's go down."

Lathifa fell silent watching Alwi's treatment so gently to Anisa. Lathifa did not yet understand the figure who had now become her husband. In fact, just hearing his voice a few times when Alwi proposed to him and when ijab qobul a few hours ago.

Alwi had never once asked her to speak. Makes Lathifa think that Alwi is a cold and stiff person. Could the Alwi who looked so cold be this gentle to his wife?

"Let's get off the Fa! You want to sleep in the car?" Anisa chuckles.

"Eh i-iya, Ma'am."

"I'm going in first, honey. Want a very sultry bath," said Alwi returned a smile from Anisa.

"You go straight home Rai, it's night!" alwi's orders to Raiyan the assistant and his best friend.

Alwi left them without saying a word to Lathifa. Once again Latifa fell silent, there was a sense of tightness that she felt inside her chest. I don't know what that feeling is, he doesn't know.

Lathifa felt like an uninvited guest, she felt awkward. However, he tried to calm himself down trying to stay positive. Pretending not to see maybe it's better.

...*****...

"This is your room, Fa. Your room is on the first floor as you wish. Sorry if the room does not suit your taste," said Anisa opened a white room door.

Lathifa entered the room and placed the suitcase containing her clothes near the bed.

Lathifa swept the entire corner of the room in awe, a fairly large room with a contrast of light blue and white. There are bookshelves, study tables, and dressers all in all white.

Even sofas, window curtains, beds, complete with pillows and blankets are all a blend of white and blue. Anisa deliberately chose Lathifa's favorite color so that she could be more comfortable living in the house.

Lathifa focused on a white wooden cupboard in the corner of the room, not a beautiful carving that disturbed Lathifa's heart, but the size that could be said to be large enough to be used by him.

"Is this not excessive, Ma'am?" ask Lathifa.

Anisa looked at Lathifa confusedly. "Then anyway? I think it's right for you."

"But this room is too big for me. And the closet was too big, my shirt was not much either. Unfortunately, if left empty," said Lathifa pointed at the closet in the corner of the room.

"You didn't forget you were a wife, did you, Fa?" ask Anisa to make sure. "There will definitely be your husband's clothes as well."

Lathifa digested Anisa's speech, her face turned tense and groggy, she forgot her new status as a wife of Alwi Husein Ibrahim.

That means she will share a room with a foreign man who is now her husband. Lathifa shook her head quickly, panicking, anxious to think about how she would deal with her husband who was so cold and indifferent to her.

Lathifa shook her head. "Eh, it's okay, Ma'am. Maybe just a little tired."

"Yes, you can rest and clean your clothes first. I've prepared toiletries and other necessities in your bathroom."

"Yes, thank you. Sorry to bother Ms. Nisa," said Lathifa felt bad.

"Don't hesitate, I told you, let's just say I'm your brother, Fa. I live first yes. If you need something, just call me in the upper room, or you can ask me to help you." mbok Ijah."

Lathifa looked at the departure of the woman who was 7 years old on it until her existence was lost behind the door of her room.

'O Allah does not Alwi desire my presence? Does he hate me? At least he wasn't looking at me.'

...*****...

Alwi sat leaning on the bed with an occasional smile looking at the beautiful face of his wife who was sitting in front of the glass while combing her long black hair.

Although without makeup polish, but his face looks so beautiful and almost perfect.

Black eyebrows curled over the eyelids with dense black eyelashes, typical pointed nose of Arab descent with tiny pink lips even without lipstick, but with no lipstick, and round amber-colored eyeballs that are always sparkling.

Alwi got up from the bed and hugged Anisa from behind, closed his eyes and inhaled deeply the scent of roses from her hair.

Anisa smiled at her husband's behavior. "Thank you, Mom." Anisa looked at her husband's face from the reflection of the dresser glass. "It's about to bring Lathifa to this house" he continued.

Hearing Anisa's statement, Alwi took off her embrace, without a word she laid her body on the bed and closed her eyes.

"Why what?" anisa asked when she saw her husband close his eyes.

"Sleep, what do you want again?"

"Kok Mas slept here anyway?" Anisa moved up and sat down beside her husband.

Alwi furrowed his brow confusedly, "Where should I sleep? You want to sleep over here?" alwi said then rolled over to the other side of the bed giving place to Anisa.

"That's not what I meant, Mom."

"What?" alwi answered, opening his eyes again.

"Mas, I should have slept in Lathifa's room, it's your bride's night, Mas." said Anisa.

Alwi ignored Anisa's words, he immediately pulled the blanket closed his eyes and tilted his body back to his wife.

"Mas ..." call Anisa up on the bed and wipe her husband's head.

"No way, Nis! Until when it never will. Please don't force me again, Nis."

"Lathifa is your wife, Mas. You have to be fair to her" Anisa persuaded.

Alwi finally sat down and stared fixedly at his wife's eyes. "For me you're my only wife and forever will be like that!" alwi.

"Oh Allah, Mas Al! Istighfar Mas's. I'm aware that Mas's words have already desecrated one of your wives, Mas." Anisa returned her husband's gaze.

Hearing the tone of Anisa's voice that started to rise, Alwi took a deep breath and exhaled violently. He dipped on his wife's cheeks and looked at his wife's teary eyes.

"Trust me Nis, I love you so much. And I don't want to hurt you any deeper. No woman has ever been single-handedly pitted against her husband, I know that, dear."

Alwi's words made Anisa's heart break, she couldn't help but cry anymore. Anisa was crying. Alwi pulls Anisa's body into her arms.

"Sstt .. don't cry anymore, dear. I can't watch you cry. Please don't force my heart, Nis. Sick." lirih Alwi while rubbing his wife's back.

Anisa took off her arms from her husband, she looked at her husband's slightly pale face, tired face and perhaps lack of rest.

"Mas, I want this wedding, I'm sincere, Mas. I grimace you, sleep with Lathifa." Anisa said in a hoarse voice.

"If you really love me. Be fair to me and Lathifa, Mom! Do all this for me, Mum!" Anisa held her husband's hand.

"I don't want to, Nis!" Alwi could not help his tears from dripping. In fact, the 28-year-old man was crying, his heart ached at the request of his wife.

"Don't make everything heavy, Mas. You carry responsibilities and trusts that are not playing games now, Mas." Anisa wiped the tears on her husband's cheek with her tiny fingers.

"All your deeds will be held accountable by Allah, O Lord! Including your attitude towards your wives, ma'am."

"Didn't Mas remember the hadith narrated by Imam Abu Daud, Imam Tirmidhi, Imam An-Nasa’I, and Imam Ibn Majah about polygamy?" Anisa asked while stroking her husband's right cheek.

Alwi nodded his fist at the sign that he remembered the hadith.

"Try to read!" anisa's orders.

Alwi closed his eyes, began to recite the hadith of the Prophet SAW.

“Whosoever has two wives then he is more inclined to one of them, he will come on the day of the apocalypse later with his side tilted.” said Alwi with a downcast face.

The couple were silent to each other for a while.

"I just don't want to add to Mas's sin if Mas acts unfairly to Lathifa," Anisa said trying to hold back her tears from escaping back.

Lying if Anisa doesn't feel jealous, lying if Anisa's okay. Lies if Anisa's heart is not broken. It was just that he was trying hard and not crying in front of everyone.

In fact, Anisa did cry in silence every day in the room when her husband was not at home. Anisa always collapses imagining Alwi, the man who married her before she finished her S-1, will share her love with another woman.

Although their marriage was based on an arranged marriage and not based on love between the two, but over time love blossomed between the two. But, this was all Anisa's desire, she did not want to be a coward and lick her own saliva. Anisa already understood and thought carefully about all the consequences of this request.