I'm The One You Throw Out

The Day ....

A few days after Lita was abused, Zafran was always agitated in the cell. There is no day without thinking about Lita. Eating bad, sleeping bad. In a dream, Lita's face that often appears while crying looks at her.

"Sir Zafran, I see you're so agitated, what's wrong?" ask an ustadz who used to give religious lectures to prisoners.

Zafran still did not reply, that day he deliberately met ustadz in person to discuss his always restless heart.

"Quiet, Sir. Read Istighfar first, calm your heart," he said again reminded.

Zafran regained his senses, hurriedly speaking Istighfar to expel the restlessness that haunted his heart. Ustadz in front of him was bearded with a smile.

"Alhamdulillah, now tell me what's the matter?" pinta ustadz patiently and calmly.

Zafran took a deep breath and released it slowly. He told about his previous actions towards Seira until he was in prison. He ended his story with a long breath of closing.

"Once Ustadz the story. I also do not know why, every time my wife's mind, the heart is always not calm, Ustadz," concluded Zafran closed the story.

The robed man said a lot of istighfar in his heart, asking forgiveness for a Zafran who had committed a great sin. Luckily he dared to confess and feel guilty himself. May Allah guide him to return to the path of religion.

"Our father has realized all that, now you have to do a lot of beristighfar. Forgiving and peace of life to God. We're both sinners, sir. So let us draw closer together to Robbul-'izzati so that our hearts may remain calm." Mr. Ustadz said wisely.

Zafran wept, his words incessantly said istighfar begging forgiveness to the Powerful.

"I sinned, Ustadz. Very sinful, is God still willing to accept me, Ustadz?" Zafran roared, weeping in memory of the sins he had committed, especially the sins against Seira.

"Alhamdulillah. God willing, Allah is the alghoffaar. Oft-forgiving, no matter how many sins we have committed, if we come to rest on Him then the door of repentance is wide open, Mr. Zafran. Let us both promise not to repeat the mistake again, so that we remain on the straight path," replied the old ustadz while rubbing Zafran's back which shook violently.

"My message, Mr. Zafran. If one day your wife does khilaf, or there is something in her that you do not like, do not immediately make a decision. Think ahead of him, the good he has done. Don't regret it a second time."

Zafran nodded in understanding, starting that day he became a devout Muslim. Repent before God, do not get tired of promising Him not to repeat all the mistakes of the past. Every day hoping Lita comes to see him, wanting to apologize to him and fix everything from the beginning.

Until that day came, the day when he was performing the dluha sunnah prayer in mushola, someone came to see him. Zafran stopped his prayer, changed into a prisoner's outfit before meeting the man who came. She thought it was Lita, a smile embedded on her lips all the way to the special room.

Zafran impatiently wanted to meet, opening the door quickly.

"Lita!"

Zafran's steps came to a halt in the doorway, the smile that adorned his lips was blurred out of nowhere. His gaze changed, cold and burning full of vengeance.

"Zafran!" The softened voice of the woman did not make Zafran's heart immediately flower. Existing, anger suddenly appeared fulfilling him.

Remembering the message of the ustadz, Zafran hurriedly said Istighfar in his heart as he stepped up to Mala who was sitting waiting for him.

"Would you like to come here?" zafran asked without further ado, "are you still not enough to make my life like this? You are really evil, Mala," Zafran continued, growling with the overflowing shakes of emotion.

"No need for emotions like that, Zafran. I just wanted to come see you. Can't you?" Mala gave in, but Zafran knew something was coming.

"Not to be confused, Mala. I know what you are. There's no way you've come suddenly without a specific purpose or purpose." Zafran grunting.

Mala laughed and said, "You really are. I came here because I care about you. I want you to make an offer, Zafran. If you want to obey me, then I can get you out of this place. That's also if you want to, if not, yes." Mala shrugged her shoulders, not caring.

"What do you want?"

Mala's smile was wide open, like successfully trapping the prey she was after.

"Dead your wife and come back with me. I love you, Zafran. Why don't you understand?" mala said, changing her facial expression was sad.

Zafran snorted, how determined Mala was so strong to want to live together with him. She is an ambitious woman. He always has to get what he wants, no matter what.

"I'm sorry, Mala, but I don't want to make the same mistake I did. I learned a lesson and don't want to regret it anymore. Why don't you find another man. You are beautiful, there must be many men who want to be with you," said Zafran solidified his heart.

Mala swerved sharply. His lips sneered at Zafran's conviction while cursing in his heart and swearing at him incessantly.

"But I just want to be with you. You don't know what your wife is doing out there? She's not a good woman, Zafran. He's playing with other men." Mala tried to convince Zafran.

However, the man shook his head, in disbelief.

"You can't just say it, Mala. Don't slander him just for your ambition. Conscious, Mala. We are not a soul mate, no matter how hard you are we will not be able to unite," said Zafran furious himself.

"Udahlah, Mala. Free you slander Lita, I won't stay with her. Especially just for you. Our lives are lacking now, but he never lived with me. He also wants to take care of my mother. If I stay with him, do you want to do the same thing as him?" Zafran smiled sinisterly as Mala's face flushed red.

The woman was silent for a moment before finally chuckling. Zafran's eyebrows clashed against each other shuddering in horror at seeing him laugh.

"Well, if you don't believe me. I have proof, and you have to see for yourself." Mala took out an envelope from her bag and gave it to Zafran.

"In here, the evidence that your wife is playing with other men. Poor you, Zafran. You crouch here, while he's as cool as any other man. Not want the same husband, all this time you do not know, right, why he never came to look? Hmmm ...." Mala snorted, leaving Zafran alone staring at the brown envelope.

Doubtful. Did he need to open it, but the curious half-dead wanted to open it and look at the contents inside. His heart was pounding, his hands were shaking as he began to open. Slowly, a bunch of photos he took out.

Instantly tears spilled just like that looking miserable image of Lita. His heartache, seemed to be squeezed and crushed. Zafran slammed the image with emotion, his chest rumbling violently. He hit the table hard.

Oh, don't you remember how your ex-wife felt when she caught you making love?

*****

Now, after seeing Mala in prison, he realized and convinced his heart that what happened to Lita must have been his action.