I'm The One You Throw Out
A Scratch of Wounds
Uhuk-uhuk!
The excruciating coughing sound was loud and annoying. The worn-out thin blanket was unable to remove the cold that made his body shiver. He curled up alone, worried that the cough he was experiencing would disturb those around him.
The sound of coughing continued to be heard until it woke up one of the people who was under the shade of the same roof as him. A little girl woke up, rubbed her eyes and looked for the whereabouts of her mother who was always sleeping on the side.
He turned his head, looking for his figure that suddenly disappeared. Naina flicked the blanket over, stood up and walked following Lita's moaning.
"Mother!" call him. Naina stepped carefully, continuing out of the room to meet Lita who was curled up alone in the front room.
Seeing something roll over the blanket and shiver, Naina approached him quickly. He sat beside her, laying down his body and hugging the body.
"Mothers. Mommy sick?" ask Naina with a witty look.
"I don't know, I'm just cold." Lita replied from inside the blanket did not open it at all even though Naina was hugging tightly.
"Have you taken your medicine?" He asked again.
"Udah, baby. Uda, yeah. You sleep, don't think about Mom. Tomorrow too is healed" said Lita let her child sleep there.
The hug that her little hand gave off slightly made Lita feel warm and gain her composure.
Sorry Mom, Nai. Mom's sorry.
His heart continued to apologize to his only daughter. The sense of regret deepened in his heart continued to eat away at the hope he had. Especially if you think of Seira, the woman she had betrayed just because she felt jealous and wanted to be in her position as Zafran's wife.
Wife of a rice merchant who has a treasure. Want anything just ask, no need to work hard alone, and certainly men are easily tempted.
Sei, I'm sorry about you, but I'm really ashamed to see you. I'm sorry, Sei. Excuse me.
Lita realized everything that happened to her was because of her own actions. Greed, envy and envy, lead him to a ruin that slowly leaves his life filled with anguish.
****
Uhuk-uhuk!
"Darling, careful. Why cough?" Fatih gave his wife a glass of water.
He was accompanying Seira who was awakened by Fathiya's cry. Although his eyes looked soft and heavy, the man was still awake accompanying his wife.
"False, Mas. If Mas sleeps, it's okay," said Seira felt sorry for his son's father.
"It's okay, I'm strong, really. I want to keep you," said Fatih Keukeuh.
He inched closer to the child's head, leaning on the head of the bed, watching the tiny face. There was only Fatih there, a little belonging to Seira, maybe only in the thin part of his lips.
Fatih rubbed his forehead, feeling that he was perfect to be a man. Again, it is remembered in the days when Rayan was born. There was no one to accompany him like he was today. Midnight wakes up, alone. If thirsty no one helps him get a drink, keep waiting until Rayan sleeps again.
Sometimes, breastfeeding while asleep. That tiredness is its own responsibility. Seira never made it difficult for Bi Sari in taking care of her baby's daily life, all she did alone even though she had to be careful.
Now, the man whose status was her husband never let her have any trouble. Maybe it's just a shower that doesn't take part in taking care of the baby. Fatih did not even hesitate to change diapers when Fathiya wetting or pup.
Seira drops her head on the man's shoulder, grateful for being reunited with him despite accidentally.
"Darling, may I ask you a question?" Fatih kissed Seira's head accordingly.
Fatih's hand held her head that was about to move. Asking him to stay there, on his shoulders. He always finds it useful when his wife does that.
"But don't be sad, yeah. I just want to know," Fatih said again reminded.
Seira moves the head sign in agreement. Waiting for questions like what her husband would ask.
"When Rayan was born, was she like Fathiya too?" tanyanya.
Seira was speechless, all of that had just flashed through his mind. Fatih asked because she saw for herself how difficult it was to be a mother who had to wake up in the middle of the night sharing a break with the cry of the baby.
Everything she wanted to do had to be postponed for putting her baby first. Including eating. Fatih always felt pity every time she saw Seira eating had to be put off because Fathiya was crying to suckle.
Imagining that time where there was no husband who accompanied, who strengthened, who fed when eating, it felt like Fatih's heart was sliced and a little regretful because it was too late to find the existence of such beautiful pearls.
"Yes, Mas. All babies are the same. Always wake up in the middle of the night. That's normal, Mas, because it means our baby is healthy" Seira replied without burden.
He looked at Fatih's little face, grateful in his heart for having both.
"So who will you know if Rayan wakes up in the middle of the night like a gini? What is Bi Sari?" he asked again, Fatih wrapped his hand on the child's body over Seira's hand.
The warm, gentle touch of the man always warms his heart. Everything he does always brings happiness.
"Nothing, Mom. Bi Sari is old, I don't have to take care of her. That is why I am sleepy. I'm very ordinary and I'm very happy to have a baby" Seira replied reassuring her husband.
He lifted his head while looking at the kind-hearted man, peeping his cheeks unreservedly as an intangible thank-you to the words.
Fatih smiled, a longing suddenly burst forth. Until when should he fast?
"Darling, I have to fast, huh?" suddenly tanyanya.
Seira nodded her head.
"Until when?" The man's face was gloomy, his lips were pursed long forward.
"Mmm .. about two months. I'm a normal lahiran, Mas. I have to wait to get well first. You are patient, yes. Mmm ... It's okay, isn't it, wait that long?" It was Seira's turn with a grim face.
The trauma is still there. It had always been a nightmare in his life, considering that Fatih who had to endure the desire during that time a fear suddenly appeared invaded his heart. That's natural, isn't it? For a woman who has experienced betrayal in marriage.
Fatih caught the sorrow from the sentence spoken. Continue to regret inwardly because of that grim face. He almost forgot, Seira used to be the incarnation of the wound of betrayal. Of course it is not easy for him to remove the trauma, especially his position now can not serve Fatih.
"It's okay, baby. Don't be so moody, ah. I don't like to see it. Smile, yes." Fatih rubbed her lips, a sense of regret continued to be present in the heart as it rubbed against the wounds of the past.
"I'm just scared, Mas-"
"Mas knows, baby. Mas. Don't wait around anymore." Fatih clutched Seira's head, the woman cried uncontrollably.
How Fatih understood what she was feeling. Seira must have been afraid Fatih would do the same as Zafran did back then.
"Mas wouldn't do anything stupid like him, baby. I made a promise to you, also in front of the graves of your parents, and now Mas also promised in front of our children. After all, Mas has a sister, and Mas's son is also a girl."
Fatih did not want the same thing to happen to her brother and son later. There's just Seira, there's never another. If he had been Seira's father back then, it might have killed Zafran. That was the mind of Fatih.
Remembering the words of an ustadz, "Zina is a debt, and every debt must be paid."
