I'm The One You Throw Out

Forgive and Affirm

"I ... w-why are you helping us?" tanya Lita stamped.

He looked at Seira fixedly, remembering the wounds he had inflicted in the past. The sense of regret increasingly squeezed to make his chest tight. They are still lucky because Seira wants to accept them and give time to talk.

Seira moved an uncomfortable body, still not looking away from the street he was staring at. Hearing Lita's question, he cursed inwardly.

"Who helped you? I'm not helping you guys, I'm helping Naina. The child is innocent, there is nothing to do with your behavior," replied Seira a little ketus, but still limited reasonable.

Lita gulped, the old woman in the wheelchair shook her head in regret. Inwardly continued to apologize to the former daughter-in-law who was reluctant to look towards him.

"Are you sure it's just Naina you're helping?" ask Lita again. She wants Seira to care about her again, she wants Seira to say that she did help her. It's not just Naina.

Seira turned her head, traces of hatred were still visible in her two manics even if it was only a little. The woman was holding back the rumble in the chest that whispered to her in order to spill all emotions like Bi Sari yesterday.

"Do you think the mistakes you've made are easy to forgive, Lita? What do you think you've done that I can easily forget? No, Lita. I'm just an ordinary human being with memories, and events used to be stored by themselves here, and here." Seira pointed at the temple, then pointed at her own chest.

The old woman's tears on the wheelchair flowed by themselves, their actions deeply imprinted in Seira's memory. Luckily, it is not to traumatize the woman to be reluctant to meet them.

Lita cried, she lowered her head deeply after seeing for herself Seira's suffering in both of her eyes. The mother of Rayan turned her face back, manahan all tight so as not to spill through tears. She did not care about Lita's cries with her former mother-in-law.

"Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm a real niesel, Sei. I'm a khilaf, I'm a sinner to you. I'm sorry, Sei," beg Lita with a vibrating voice.

He did not dare to raise his face to look at his former friend. Too embarrassed, considering all the wounds he had inflicted on Seira's heart.

"I ... I know my mistakes are not easy to forgive, but I'm really sorry, Sei. I don't want to die with this sin, I'm sorry about you, Seira. I'm sorry," continued Lita.

He ventured to look at the woman beside him, staring at her with wet eyes. Even with an old face in the wheelchair, but Seira was unmoved, there was no water pooling in the fertilizer. Only his breathing sounded heavy and hunting. He was struggling against the lust that wanted to make him explode.

Seira lowered her head, pulling the air deeply. Trying to make peace with the wounds of the past, he did not want to be constantly locked in endless wounds. Maybe this is the way, they have to meet and forgive each other, but still will never be able to remove the traces of wounds that have been created.

"I'm sorry, I'm happy with everything that's happened in my life. So, after this, I hope you guys don't come in front of me again. You don't show up again in my life because every time I see you, I'm having a bad dream" Seira said trying to breastfeed even though it's difficult to do.

Hearing that, the downcast Lita looked up, looking at Seira's face that was not looking at her at all. She was indeed kind, it was just that it was possible that the wound Lita had planted in her memory and her heart was so deep that it stuck to its bottom.

When the heart begins to make peace with the wound, the mind works to show what has been passed. Memories buried deep, re-emerged to the surface as if not allowing to forget. How else? Only a mere human being is tested with passion and passion.

"Seira, can't we be like that again? In the past, we were friends in joy and sorrow, right? I want us to kayak again, Sei. I don't want enemies with you" Lita's pinta shed tears.

It is a time of old, where they were always together in every circumstance. Like ants and sugar. Where there is Seira, there will appear Lita.

Seira snorted, laughing bitterly at Lita's request. Which part is called a friend in joy and sorrow? He's a friend only inside, like it.

"You're sure we used to be best friends in joy and sorrow?" sarcas Seira while turning to him with a smile on her lips. A smile that sliced through her heart and tore her confidence apart.

"Look at me, you always want what I have. You always threaten me if I don't want to follow you. You always treat me. You never were either, I had a hard time. You're just benefiting me, Lita. Where were you when Dad died? Where were you when I was sick for months in the hospital? Mother said, even though you never came to look at me. Now, you're saying we're best friends in joy and sorrow?"

Seira laughed again. He turned his face away from Lita again, staring at the mirror of the shop where Rayan was watching. Lita was stunned to hear Seira's heart. Unexpectedly, Seira kept the wound alone.

"Have a fuck, Lita, Mom, I'm sorry about you. I've been willing to do everything you did before, but to go back as I used to I couldn't. Not that I don't want to, but really can't. I only help Naina because I feel called as someone who is given more sustenance by God."

"Our meeting was also unintentional, purely because of fate. Take good care of your child, Lita. Don't make her sad, let alone disappointed. He was a child, the old people said they were still plain white papers. It depends on his parents, whether to ink gold or dark black ink."

Seira turned her face to the old woman who only heard the sound of sobs. What a shame indeed, the arrogance that he used to be proud of now no longer exists. The pride he had once nurtured now turned against him.

"As a human being living within the limits of time, it is getting older the less time in the world. Every moment is precious because death comes unexpectedly. When else will we knock on the door of heaven, knock on the door of repentance because if life has reached the esophagus, the door of repentance is closed." Seira stands.

It was enough to talk to them because Fatih's car had appeared and the man was watching them there.

Without giving a closing word, Seira stepped away from them. Walk quickly to the man who was standing waiting. Scattered to embrace her and shed tears on her sturdy chest.

"I'm ready, Mom. I'm sincere."

Fatih clutched Seira's shaking body, she did look strong on the outside, but was actually fragile and needed a sturdy shoulder for her to lean on. Fatih is calmness, comfort, with him the heart is always peaceful, being in his arms, Seira feels safe.