I'm The One You Throw Out

Inner Contact

Pensively alone, sitting hugging his own knees. His lips were incessantly raving. His body shivered violently, his pale face trembling inundated with tears. Remembering the incident last afternoon, where he examined Hendra, a doctor and his best friend.

****

At the hospital, he confronted Hendra. Looking at each other, throwing questionable gazes and a never-ending curiosity.

Zafran gulped his saliva many times, looking at Hendra's tense face and his sharp gaze made Zafran's throat dry up and drag.

"Ja-so, what's my pain, Hen?" Zafran asked.

Anxiety began to fill the heart, slowly turning into fear that gathered to form a black cloud on his heart and face. Hendra sighed, he himself was unsure of the results of his examination.

"Wait for the results from the lab to come out, I'm not sure about your condition, Zafran." Hendra hooked his hands on the table.

"Don't kidnap me, Hen. Honestly, I was afraid myself" said Zafran.

Hendra again sighed, looking down for a moment before looking back at Zafran.

"Some time ago, there was a patient from prison with your kayaking condition, but he was worse. Just tell me he can't. Now he's in isolation because of his unstable condition" Hendra said.

Zafran's body stiffened even more, whether he would also be isolated like the person Hendra was talking about.

"Then, whoso? And what's he sick of?" zafran asked, it's getting messed up.

"Woman, I think you know him too. Now she just cries alone in the isolation room. Wanna see?" bargain Hendra.

The deg!

Zafran's heart hunted for a moment, racing quickly. I only remember one name, Mala.

"Mala?" muttered Zafran who turned his face agitatedly.

"You really are, she is Mala. I didn't expect your ex-boyfriend to be so desperate to pimpikari. Now that he has to serve the sentence, he suffers from Aids, Zafran" Hendra said.

Like being struck by lightning in broad daylight, it felt Zafran's soul crumbled to hear Hendra's words. Intermittent, the doctor's eyes squinted suspiciously. Investigating Zafran whose hobby is playing there playing here even though at home there is a perfect wife unequaled.

"Don't say you ...." Hendra shook his head in disbelief.

The doctor dropped his back on the backrest, opened his glasses with a long sigh. Zafran cried, covering his face full of regret.

"Astaghfirullah, Zafran! You are outrageous. If you believe it, how!" snapped Hendra grumbling.

Zafran continued to cry hysterically, shaking his head in disbelief that he had actually contracted the disease. Since when? No one knows.

Hendra got up, pulled Zafran's hand and forced him to come along. Hendra continues to drag Zafran into an increasingly deserted passageway from humans. Isolation room.

Hendra threw Zafran's body to stand in front of the cell. Inside, a woman was sitting in a wheelchair. The body is thin, maybe only in the form of bones wrapped in skin only. His face was pale, he looked at the window. Wanted out, but couldn't.

"Look! He's Mala, like the one who's been hit by Aids, Zafran. He can't go anywhere, can't relate to anyone" Hendra lamented.

Zafran wept and wailed in front of Mala's room. The room was heavily guarded, not just anyone who could enter it. Mala heard, but she refused to look. Too embarrassed, only tears were left to come down to his clothes.

Zafran, frustrated, turned to pounce on Hendra, but was immediately dismissed by the doctor. Zafran's body turned back away, he stood up with hunting breaths and flaming red eyes.

"Help me, Hen. You have to help me, you have to help me heal. I want to see my son, Hendra. How I should be healed. I must heal, "please Zafran looks at the doctor who is standing in front of him.

Hendra budged, everyone knew that the disease had no cure. That's why you have to play around so recklessly.

"You know, Zafran. Everyone knows there is no cure for this disease. It's your fault that you can't stop yourself. You already have a wife, but still like to play outside without knowing the health of the person. This is a punishment for you, accept it. Now beg your forgiveness, Zafran. So that God will be kind to you" said Hendra who struck Zafran's heart.

"I also want your wife's son checked."

*****

Now, crying is useless. It all happened and he had to accept it. Weep for ourselves, surrender to the Power and ask forgiveness from Him.

Zafran squeezed his own hair, dropping his head on a prayer mat in his room. It was too late, but he hoped that the sky door would still be open for him.

Zafran was crying in tears alone, no one wanted to be friends with him anymore. No one wants to get close to him. Everyone stayed away, feeling disgusted at him. Whatever he did alone, even when he was in trouble nobody wanted to help.

Whatever Zafran was holding, nobody touched him. They are worried that they will catch the disease. Zafran was in a special room, alone. Isolated from others. He cannot go out, food is always delivered to his room.

All he did was cry, wail, and regret everything that had happened. The hope of meeting the child was dashed from desire.

"I want to see my son, God. I'd like to meet him. Please give me a chance to meet him, I want to apologize to Seira too. O God, don't take my life before I accept forgiveness from him. Oh God, please, just listen to me this time. I want to meet my son, O God," lamented Zafran in his endless prostration.

All day and night, that's all he did. Kneel down and cry, regretting all his foolish actions.

"I want to see my son, I want to hug him and kiss him. I'd like to see him." Zafran continued to cry sounding bitter and heart-wrenching.

****

Uhuk-uhuk!

At their home, Rayan who was having lunch suddenly coughed violently.

"Honey, slow down. Be careful" Seira said as she gave him a drink.

He kneaded his back slowly channeling a sense of comfort to Rayan's tight chest. I don't know what happened, Rayan suddenly felt tight and her heart was pounding violently.

"Sick, Mah," she shrieked in a raucous voice.

Seira hugs and kisses him, seeing his reddened face and nose he knows Rayan must be in pain.

"Sister why? Did anyone disturb Brother's mind?" ask Fatih who also could not bear to see Rayan in pain.

The boy shook his head, he didn't feel that anything was bothering him, just a dream about a man who kept calling himself Rayan's real father.