I Love You Dr. Chicanery

Outside of Conjecture

Two days have passed since I checked my pregnancy on dr. Gayathri. The pregnancy that made me and Mahfudz worried even ummik too. That supposedly ectopic pregnancy, for these two days has made me daydream a lot.

"It's okay, Ray. Do what Mahfudz says. Immediately end your pregnancy," Ummik reminded.

I'm not saying. My hopes still drift far into a time, when I lost my heavenly angel, Annisa. That beautiful baby that should be my firstborn. I still remember how tiny Annisa was in my arms. Beautiful but no longer alive. The thing that made me traumatized until now and unable to see the death of the baby. While working at RSIA Satya Medika, I had to witness several times for myself a baby can not be saved in labor. It would make me hide in my room and cry bitterly for a while.

After all that, how could I possibly kill my own baby-to-be, God? Even if it is just a zygote or embryo, it is still the result of my love for Mahfudz. Just like Annisa, Haikal and Laila. So how can I just as easily inject methotrexate into my body and let the drug react to make eggs and sperm cells* who has been processed into an embryo that is destroyed and melted because of the effects of the drug? How do I make it all so easy to do.

"Ray, Mahfudz says you can still get pregnant again in a few months after you abort it. It's not a baby yet, son. Not yet blown over him. Don't feel guilty about it." Ummik seemed to have guessed my thoughts.

"God will understand our compulsion to do so, if it brings benefit," Ummik added.

"Behold, Mik.Please don't push Raya first," I whine when we just finished the family congregational morning prayers.

"You promised me only two days, Ray!" Mahfudz reminded me of my promise two days ago.

"I know, Dad!" my answer. "I just need a little more time to prepare mentally."

Mahfudz.

"Don't dawdle. Anyway, today I will take you back to dr. Gayatri," he added.

I agreed, while folding my face.

After praying I helped Ummik cook in the kitchen. Still discussing about the ectopic pregnancy that I experienced, Ummik still tried to persuade me.

"Ray, don't put it off again, son. You are just as worried about Ummik as Mahfudz if this is so. Is it not enough when pregnant with Haikal you do like this? Long Ummik can be short-lived if you continue to do as you please, Ray. Please think of Ummik's concerns," Ummik's nag.

It's not just a tirade, I guess. Ummik was really worried about me, making me have to make a decision as soon as possible.

"Yes, Ummik. This is going to Dr. Gayatri," I said, trying to convince him.

"It really has to end, Ray!" Ummik gave an ultimatum without being negotiable.

"Yes, Mik," I replied.

Come on, bismillah, I murmured in my heart. My logic is trying to give my heart the sense that this is not the same as killing my own baby. Yes, this is a new zygote, not a fetus that already has complete organs. I just need to go to dr. Gayatri and receiving methotrexate injections, that's all, right? And that pregnancy tissue will shed once the medicine reacts in my body.

I nodded trying to strengthen my heart. After helping Ummik chop up vegetables, I immediately got ready. I saw Mahfudz watching the morning news in the living room.

"Well, mom get ready, huh? I accompanied my mother to dr. Gayatri," I said.

He looked over and looked at me full of relief. Without much commenting, he finally nodded. Maybe he thought before I changed my mind.

"Yes, the hunt! All of us take Haikal to school" he replied.

Then I hurried into the room to change the clothes I was going to wear to the hospital.

When I was about to take the clothes from the closet, suddenly my stomach felt cramped and something seemed to flow from the bottom of my body. Spontaneously I looked down and felt between my two thighs. Not much, but it's really blood.

I gulped, panicking suddenly ambushed me just like that.

"Dad!!! Fuck!!!" call me half screaming.

He did not hear, maybe the sound effects of television whose volume is too large.

"Dad!" scream again.

Before long Mahfudz came though without saying.

"What's wrong with you, Bun?" tanyakanya.

"This ... This, Dad. Have a look!" I showed him the blood that was flowing down my thighs.

"This bleeding, Dad. How's this?" ringisku panic.

"Clean up first, yuk! Then put on a bandage first, keep dressing neatly, we're going to the hospital now!" mahfudz said softly.

I nodded still with a troubled heart.

Ah, she's always been like this. This husband of mine although I always ngeyel and constantly want to refute him, but if I had been in this situation he would not blame me at all. He has always been so, nurturing and always protective of me.

"Not needed help?" tanyanya offers

I'm shaking.

"Yes, the hunt is ready," he said.

With a bad heart I immediately went back to cleaning myself and dressed neatly.

"Ummik, pick Haikal yes, Mik. Ummik can we ask for help Ummik just that between Haikal to school. The blood is coming out, Mik," said Mahfudz worriedly

"O Allah, Raya! That's why you always do it, kid!" nagging Ummik with a facial expression that was very worried, as soon as we were about to leave for the hospital.

"Udah, Mik. Already! Later I will get angry with Rayanya. Now Mahfudz take Raya first to Medika Alert. He should be examined first dr. Gayatri," he said

"Yes, later if there is anything contact Ummik aja, Fud," said Ummik.

"Yes, Mik. We go first, Mik. Assalamualaikum" said Mahfudz after he kissed Ummik's hand

I did the same thing, kissing Ummik's hand.

"Well, if you're told to fall in, be sincere, Ray. You have to know what Mahfudz said" Ummik said.

"Yes, Mik," I replied as I occasionally endured the cramping pain in my stomach.

We went to Siaga Medika Hospital. We were welcomed by dr. Gayathri. We didn't have to queue because Mahfudz had called him before to make an appointment.

After hearing what happened this morning, dr. Gayatri asked my decision.

"It looks like you're having a tubal (torn) repture, yes," says dr. Gayatri told her conjecture.

"I'd agree to be given methotrexate, Doc, but could you please do USG again earlier, Doc?" my door.

Dr. Gayatri nodded. "Could certainly, Yes. That's what we're gonna do first."

As said by dr. Gayatri, transvaginal ultrasound performed again. In the midst of the USG procedure, dr. Gayatri suddenly smiled.

"Well, you want some good news or some bad news?" tanyakanya.

I frowned in astonishment, Mahfudz also approached out of curiosity. Then without waiting for my answer to his question, Dr. Gayatri smiled at me.

"Ray, there's a fetal pouch visible in the womb. He is implanted into the uterus at this time. This is no longer an ectopic pregnancy! Yaaa!!! Congratulations on getting pregnant again!"

I was so excited to hear it.

"That's, Doc?" my question is not to understand.

"It looks like the embryo hasn't implanted completely in the fallopian tube yesterday, Ray. So he forced his way out of the tube, as a result, your fallopian tube was torn until there was a bit of bleeding in the abdomen, Ray. That's bad news" said dr. Gayathri.

I looked at each other in amazement with Mahfudz. So I'm really pregnant with Laila's sister again? O Allah, Alhamdulillah.

****

Hi guys, sorry can't always update every day. Stay in the footsteps of comments and likes let othor know you have read this work.