(Revised) Regretting It Too Late

Disturbances

After all the surprise and happiness that Mexca gave me, I became even more afraid that it was just my imagination. And all will disappear like the incident at that time, when I build a household with Bram mas.

While sitting at the window of my room, I stared and looked far into the sky that showed an orange color in the afternoon. I leaned my head against the window wall, bent my legs and held my knees.

"O Allah, is this true real happiness or is it just all happiness" my heart kept staring at the sky that afternoon.

"Am I able and able to transcend all this great happiness? Can I pass it quietly to the end, can it all hold until I close my eyes. Can that happen?" I ask in my heart that this happiness is too much and arrives for me.

"Non, howling. It is not good to daydream in the afternoon - the afternoon will be a jinn (trance or possession)." said bi Sumi rebuked me and I replied with a smile.

"Aunt here because we want to say, we were invited by RT for routine studies, if non Dinda wants to come later out of the magrib," said bi Sumi and I nodded.

According to the invitation after the prayer magrib me and bi Sumi and mang Ujang came to a routine study at the residence of Mr. RT. There when I listened to the lectures of the ustad who was invited to fill the event, I knew that a good and wise leader was a leader who could sort out, choose and distinguish between his personal affairs and public affairs.

Listening to that, I remembered Mexca. When in the office he was so firm and disciplined, even I was often scolded if I was wrong in making reports. After that, when he was outside the office, he became like a kitten who begged for forgiveness because it was wrong after stealing fish.

Mexca, in this heart so filled by himself. He is a good example of a leader, he never defends the wrong person even if it is the closest person. For him, in the office the relationship is pegawe and the leader. The wrong will be punished and the right will be free, he is an impartial and honest leader.

After the lecture was over I, bi Sumi and man Ujang came home on foot with the neighbors who were alone, because when we left earlier we also walked.

"Mas Bram?" whispered as we entered the courtyard.

I saw Mas Bram sitting on my porch-seat bowed down and he was carrying something like a letter with a large brown envelope.

"Assalamu'alaikum mas," my greetings when I was in front of him.

"Wa'alaikumsalam Din, someone wants mas bullshit" he said standing when he saw me coming.

"Auntie make a drink first yes non," said bi Sumi while stepping into the house along with the Ujang mang.

"Please sit down, what is this mas?" I said after inviting Bram to sit down again

"Din, forgive me for always making you difficult. Mas here because I do not want you to be wrong in stepping and making Din's choice" said mas Bram who made me frown.

"Mas knows you received a proposal from that person," said Mas Bram again.

"Mas Mexca his name is mas." I said to name Mexca

"This is a drink, please drink" said bi Sumi who came to serve drinks and snacks.

"Still bi" mas Bram told bi Sumi

"Din, I've been investigating him. And he had a relationship with a girl in LA. And they were also arranged by their respective grandfathers. Mas sure big guys like them must have a lot of scandals and will only be in a relationship with people who are mutually beneficial to each other." explained Bram to me, and I just kept quiet and didn't answer.

"Din, I don't want you to be destroyed if you are with someone like him, what else you have different beliefs. It would definitely be difficult to establish a household with something like that. Because you guys are not in line and there is definitely no harmony between you later." he explained again who turned affect me.

"I know about his relationship with that girl. But they're no longer related" I said

"Din, that's impossible. You don't see what their relationship is like and what they've done. In this envelope you have collected data about them, you can see and read it. Think about the words mas Din, because you do not want to be destroyed and disappointed. Excuse me first yes, think and meditate." explained Bram before he resigned.

"All right, assalamu'alaikum."

I put in the envelope given by Mas Bram and I laid my body on the bed. I closed my eyes and I began to recall my encounter with Mexca from the beginning until now.

After praying Isya' I decided to get as bright as sleep because the time has shown at 10 pm, and tomorrow I have to go to work in the morning because I want a meeting with a designer representative from a company in LA.

That morning I left early, which was supposed to come in at 9 I arrived at 8 a.m. Because I want to prepare all the reports and examples of designs that will be made and marketed in LA.

"Alhamdulillah, at last all the business is done." I lamented as I stretched out my body in my room chair.

"Designer AL, all accepted I'm really happy. Usually we will be overtime for revisions. But since you joined here everything has become easy, we can also go home quickly. Thank you and congratulations AL designer." said all my colleagues who one division with me.

"Yes, it's all of us, '" I replied no less happy than them.

"Yes, usually the parties there always tell us to revise, but today with the explanation and description given by the AL designers they immediately agree and accept it." they said again (co-workers) and all hugged each other happily.

After all the work was done I went home with the others, because I wanted to get closer to my coworkers, and also get to know them all. So that no more events that make them irish and misunderstand me, to want to hurt me like before.

That afternoon I drove my car to the cafe, but before I got to the cafe mas Bram called me and wanted to see me, because there was something important to talk about about my daughter Alea.

I also met Mas Bram in a restaurant told by mas Bram. A concierge drove me to the room where Bram was. And in that restaurant I saw Bram mas not alone, but Bram mas along with Monica's mother.

Yes, the restaurant is arguably very spacious and comfortable to discuss a problem or problem, because the seat there is a partition - a partition like there is in a separate room, so no one else will know our gestures if the door is not opened.

"What's the matter, and why?" my mind as I stepped into the room.

"Assalamu'alaikum mas, mbak" my regards to the two of them

"Wa'alaikumsalam" they answered simultaneously

"What is this mas? On the phone, I said it had something to do with Alea?" manya curious.

"Yes, Din mas just talk to the point, I want to go back and refer to you. Monica has also agreed and has signed the dossier to remarry with the former first wife mas, yes it's you Din." obviously Bram's spontaneous which makes me even more confused and clueless.

"I'm sorry, but Dinda's been proposed." I refused to accept Bram's wishes

"Din, but I don't want Alea in foster care and raised by a family of different beliefs. It will not be good for his growth later. Walo mas knows he's Didi and Ayuni's adopted son, but Alea is closer and more often with you, right?" said Mas Bram.

"You're the one who actually wants to adopt Alea? If getting married and referring to Alea again, Alea's custody will fall into your hands and we can raise Alea together, it'll be better because she'll have a confident parent." obviously Bram's being honest makes me uncomfortable

"Sorry, Dinda can't answer what Bram wants, because Dinda doesn't want to hurt Mexca's heart." I refused to accept Bram's request

"Monica say something, so that Dinda believes and wants to come back the same mas, do not you also want to make up for all your mistakes on Adinda all this time," insisted mas Bram on Monica's mother.

"True Din, which was said by mas Bram. And I've signed a statement saying that I agree with you to refer me again" Monica told me with a very pretty smile.

"But I'm sorry, Dinda really can't, mas. Forgive Dinda, if there was nothing else that Dinda wanted to talk about first excuse me because Dinda had to go home soon, Alea would have been waiting for Dinda at home. Excuse me, ma'am. Assalamu'alaikum" I said and I went straight away.

"Wait Din," prevent Bram

"Sorry, Dinda has to go. Please forgive Adinda. It's not good to see a mas person" I said as I opened the door to our room and stepped outside, I headed straight for my car and drove it home.