(Revised) Regretting It Too Late

Prefix

My name is Adinda Larasati, I am the only child of Alm. Yahya (my father) and alm. Julia (mother). Both of my parents died in a single car accident, and my parents left me so many possessions. Starting from restaurants, cafes and boutiques. All of that is now still managed by my assistant parents who are very loyal to them and he is also the one who has been taking care of me who is still in school in the 3rd grade of SMU very much patiently, as if I were his own son.

I have a nature that is easily shaky and also strongly believe in the existence of a good. So I think if I survive and do good to others then they will be good to me, so with my nature it is not uncommon for there to be people who like to use me. Although I understand religion, sometimes I also cross the line and look useless.

During the sudden loss of my parents, I was so shaken and disturbed that I sometimes needed someone else to support me and give me courage.

"Dinda after you graduate school Om will send you to LA to enter a top university there, and learn about all fields of business, Om, so that you can manage all of your parents' legacy assets well" said om Bambang at length to me.

"But om dinda has never been out of the house, how will dinda live the days and life dinda there later?" my answer is clear because honestly I am afraid if I have to travel far from home, let alone this out of Negri.

"You must be a strong girl, you must not be weak and give up easily, you must be able to deal with any situation that may later overwhelm you. What else looks easy to be bullied by others, never show up and be seen in you. Remember your parents' only hope is you, then you must be able to realize all their wishes and hopes that have not been realized and fulfilled. Om sure you can get through everything very well, never be a person who easily broken charcoal. Because you are a great little girl Om and you have to be strong, you can definitely get through this. Think of this as a test for you to succeed in the future" Such is the explanation and advice of Om Bambang who tried to comfort and strengthen my heart.

Yes, after my parents' departure, my days were always filled with a very heavy sadness and hit me very strongly, she said, I felt a tightness in my chest that hurt a lot when I imagined my life alone without them again, wanting to feel like I was following my parents' departure and catching up with them.

That morning I saw Om Bambang and his two children entering my yard. Yes, since last night I could not sleep, even though I forced to close my eyes but still difficult, the shadow of my togetherness with my parents always loomed in my mind.

"For non, why is it still so sad? Come to be a strong and strong girl, certainly non Dinda parents also want their daughter to be a strong girl, tough and sincere" said Om Bambang rebuking me who had just come down with a sour and lazy face.

"For Om. Can't not call me non. Please treat Dinda like a child Om, Dinda uda has no one else Om. Dinda is now alone in this world" my sobs broke in front of Om Bambang

"All right, well according to your request, dear. From now on Dinda is Om's youngest child, don't cry anymore. Isn't this the 100th anniversary of Dinda's father and mother? Come on Dinda must be strong yes dear" Om Bambang hugged and patted my back gently.

"Yes, god willing. Thank you Om for always being there for Dinda. If Dinda had a brother maybe Dinda would not be alone like now, just accompanied by bi Sum and man Ujang" I replied with a whim.

"Hay... Who said that. There are still Didi mas and also Dido mas, we do not look? And from now on you are our most beautiful sister in the world. So I can't be sad for long. OK" said mas Didi and mas Dido, the twin son of Om Bambang who was 8 years different from me.

"Thank you, please help me in the future and please don't leave Dinda alone" I hugged Didi and Dido in my embrace.

The 100-day event of the death of father and mother that night also went very smoothly and wisdom. And another month is my graduation day. Om Bambang who always comes every 3 days to see me is very helpful to me who feel lonely, as well as to his two sons, they always accompany me and teach me a lot about everything, including playing music such as guitar and piano which they said it could make me to vent all my sadness.

With my skills that I also feel a little comforted because I have an outlet when I feel claustrophobic considering the departure of my parents.

"Dad, I don't feel like 100 days you've left me alone in this world, do you know that I miss you so much. What am I supposed to do without you? I have to what will it be? Why did you leave me so soon. Mother please help Dinda ma'am" I sobbed staring and caressed the photos of my parents, I still could not be sincere with their sudden departure.

I always try to catch even though I often cry at night without the knowledge of others, because the sense of being left behind by a role model is very painful. There is only confusion, although there are many people who support but it feels very different from the support of parents directly.

The sudden departure of my parents forced me to become an independent and mature soul instantly, like a fruit ripe for carbines. It was also that in the end made me sometimes become unstable in deciding all decisions.

Every night I chant a do'a for the two of them. I told and complained about this pain I felt in the power, I told and I spilled all the tightness in my chest that seemed to be trying to tear my heart.

I remember my childhood

you're timang and spoil me, when I cry you hug my body

that was my childhood

now I'm far from your hug mom

I miss your affection

wait for your son's return mother

I bow at your feet, Mother

I'm sorry oh my father

I haven't had time to reply to your services

I'm sorry oh my mother

who always hurt your heart

listen to your son

I really miss meeting

for I forgive your son

I can't repay your services yet.

That night I sang a song from Laoneis Band - Miss Daddy And Mom lyrics song to convey all my forgiveness to my parents who I have not been able to repay all their services to me.

I try to remember all their memories and efforts in nurturing, caring for and raising me all this time. Their services that I may not be able to reply to at any time.