(Revised) Regretting It Too Late

Dined together

"What is God? Why is my heart pounding just by watching him blink his eyes. Have I gone crazy? Yeah, I think I'm crazy. He said, his temptation. Aaaaah...!!" my grunts and my slow cries that saw Mexca had left me alone on the roof, and I covered my face with both hands, the heat I felt all over my face. There was a sense of happiness, pleasure and also tickling in my heart.

After that rooftop incident, I salted every time I saw it, and my heart couldn't control it either. There was a greedy and greedy feeling in my mind, which I wanted to feel like I was breaking a bit of the rules I made myself. Overstepping the limits of what I've set before. To love and want to have something that is not really for you. And breaking my religious norms.

"O Allah, O my Lord, blame me if I should keep and let this seed grow in my heart, should I bury it and turn away, or should I continue to walk by the call of the heart. What should I do in this. Is this a feeling that grows because of You, or is it just a feeling that grows because of my desire? Rabbi, Rabbi, Rabbi... Guide Your servant and make me able to control my feelings. Amen.!" ask me in every do'a I say most often, so that I don't take the wrong step.

I close my bow and I lay down my body while looking up at the sky - the sky of my room. I've never felt this way before, but I've been in love with my husband before, but it's a new feeling for me. It was as if I was running in a thorny garden but it didn't hurt.

In my mind I thought, this came from my Lord or from my lust. I can't distinguish this feeling so new to me.

That morning, I did not know what happened I went to work without supplies and also I no longer rest on the roof of the building because I deliberately wanted to avoid that person (Mexca). I don't want to make him wish or make my own heart wish. I ate in the cafeteria with my other co-workers, and we talked about a lot of things.

Two months have passed since the incident was missed, and my busyness is quite a lot because they want to issue a new brand that will be launched to foreign countries. Everyone is busy with their own business. Until that afternoon there was an announcement when the leader wanted to hold an impromptu meeting with the team leaders or squads at each division to discuss the issue of the idea of making, marketing and targets to be addressed.

At exactly 3 pm we were all gathered in the meeting room, just waiting for the leader to come. Shortly after that he came along with his secretary Merlin and also his assistant Faris.

When the meeting took place I looked at him as if there was no spirit on his face, and when I saw him focus on his meeting and his seriousness it amazed me. He is not only a good leader, but he is a wise decision-maker and the originator of ideas that are very impressive.

When I finished the meeting, I accidentally caught a glimpse and there was sadness in the look in his eyes that looked at me. I didn't dare to look at him again, and went straight out of the room with the others.

"Why does he look sad? Is that because of me? Or is he sick?" ask me to try guessing - stuck in my heart when I was sitting in my workroom.

"Why am I thinking about him. It's none of my business." I rubbed my face rough and I smiled amusedly with myself. Then I continued a little work before I came home.

At 6 p.m., I tidied up all my work desks and I was getting ready to go home. Because all my co-workers are also home. On the way home I kept thinking and remembering Mexca's sad face as she looked at me after the meeting this afternoon.

"Why don't you, how do you notice your smile - your own smile?" tegur bi Sumi who arrived - suddenly broke my daydream. As I sat at the dinner table after dinner.

I also told bi Sumi about her who was cheerful at first so suddenly - arrived gloomy and sad without me knowing why. And bi Sumi suggested that I comfort her and ask her what happened.

After hearing the advice of bi Sumi, that morning after finishing the morning prayers I cooked and after thinking all night I intended to cook lunch for her, and I'll take it to the roof of the building as I always do.

When I entered the office the atmosphere was very quiet because there were still not many who came. I went straight into my room and did my job, including the design that had been made for me to examine its shortcomings.

Just at lunch time the friend who used to take me to the cantina had followed me into the room, and I told him I didn't come with them, because I was carrying the provisions again from home.

And after it was quiet I walked slowly to the emergency stairs to get to the roof of the building. But I didn't see anyone there. I've been around to the corner of the roof and there's only me.

The Abigail

"Hem... The atmosphere of the roof is always pleasant and also peaceful. Praying in the open is very delicious." I look at the sky that is still there is very beautiful, which no one can achieve with empty hands.

"Why me, am I the only one who beats when I think of his statement at that time? He must have said it just so." I heard the voice of someone complaining about other people's actions to him, and sounded desperate.

"Eh, who's grumbling like that? I thought there was only me alone here." I muttered and I peeked at who was on the roof besides myself.

"Hisband? What he just muttered. Is that because of my original love statement - the real time to mediate between her and her ex-husband?" my question is in my heart.

"Alright Mex, you'll know if you look for the taunya." I determined and I ventured to tease him.

How shocked I was when I saw the expression on the face of Adinda who met red while bowing embarrassed, because I said.

"Subhanallah, why did You create such a perfect person, he was like a blossom. I want to feel like I'm scooping all over her." I muttered in my heart knowing that she also felt what I felt.

I blinked my eyes after I teased her, asked her to make some food so that I would have a reason to see her again, and I immediately left her, because if I stayed there it could be dangerous. Because there's a demon inside me that keeps pushing me to embrace it.

But the next day, that afternoon I did not find him on the roof, until 1 week I was there he never came again. And when I saw that he and the others were resting in the cafeteria.

"Yes Allah.. .What trials do You give, why do I become worried and not calm. My feelings are getting deeper for her and my fear is also getting bigger. Rabbi to You I beg and take refuge, and I entrust this love to You. Amen.!" the Do'a I love to chant every time I remember him (Adinda).

After two months I didn't see him, and every time he passed he tried to avoid me. The pain in my heart grew stronger and I was afraid that she would run away from me again. But I can't force him to stay by my side either.

In that meeting room I saw him who used to make me sicker. Unconsciously my facial expression became irritated and sad when I saw him leave, I wanted to stop him from leaving and not leave me, but I couldn't, because I don't want to hurt her by forcing my will.

That afternoon every day I feel used to always come to the roof of the building, in addition to worship and relax. Because the roof on the west side is rarely seen by people, because it is a place of electricity voltage, so employees who smoke prefer to be in the east because it is safe.

Back to this moment

"Eh, deserted. He didn't come, did he? Hem, why did I think about it." I grumbled with a smile of my own.

"Aargh...!" I was shocked when someone arrived to pull my hand

"Let this be a moment, I miss you so much, miss you so much." his heavy-sounding voice and his embrace tightly held me, making me unable to move.

My heart was pounding so fast, I closed my eyes tightly, holding my breath for fear that he would know that my heart was pounding. My nose that was hiding in his chest slowly smelled a good aroma, and I was breathing slowly and I could feel the masculine scent that was mixed with the fresh and sweet taste of the perfume was very good, eliciting a freshness that matched his calm and assertive character, it was very soothing and lulled me in his arms.

Kruuuyuuukk... My stomach rang at an inappropriate time, and it embarrassed me.

"Ahaha... Are you hungry, baby?" he said as he broke his embrace and looked at my face very closely. Instantly my face flushed like a boiled crab.

"Let's eat. I don't want to starve my darling any more" she said with a charming smile as she held my head.

We also ate together on the roof of the building, with provisions that I deliberately made this morning - this morning. We ate quietly, and occasionally I glanced at him.

My smile expands when I see him eating my cooking very greedily, we eat by sitting down, because the table there is only 1 chair.

"Thank you for the food, is this your cooking? It's really delicious, I can get hooked and want to keep eating your cooking. Can you make it for me?" he said he praised me and asked me to cook for him again.

"Can tomorrow you come to me and we eat together again like this?" ask her which I answered with a nod

"Tomorrow I'll find Merlin to pick you up, or do you want me to come pick you up?" he said while advancing his face to me

"Not let Merlin's secretary pick me up" I replied frantically waving my hand.

"Haha... I like your reaction. All right, let's get back to work, the break is past my dear." God told me and again winking.

We went back to our own room, and I didn't know where he was going, because we were going out of different ways.

When I was in the room I smiled - smiling myself like crazy. It feels like my heart is still not back to a normal beat.

"It's a danger, he's not good for my heart health" I muttered as I held onto my own chest.

While in Mexca's room, he was also neutralizing the pounding of his heart that was not affected, while holding his chest.

"Danger, this is very dangerous. He's really not good for my heart health. But I like it and want as much to have it whole."