What is my fault, sir?

Toga Shirt

Time quickly passes now baby Al is 10 months old, the more days baby Al's face looks more like his Papi, the more the face makes Neng always remember when with him, the more the face of baby Al, doctors Harry's therapy did not all succeed in getting to hear Al's name called but increasingly traumatizing his heart excessively, sometimes nighttime nightmares about the man in his past.

Neng always close the meeting about what happened to him, the more days Neng more closed, if anyone asks where her Papi Alfian she always answered is working as TKI in Saudi Arabia, he said, in order not to get scorned about having a son but not having a husband.

Neng was still in therapy with Doctor Harry once a month, because Neng never gave a clear explanation makes Doctor Harry can only give advice and depression drugs every time Neng experienced excessive mind pressure.

Today Neng was asked to accompany Sumi's mother to a ternana hotel in Bekasi to accompany her daughter who was graduating SMU, Sumi's mother did not have a husband, never entered the hotel. Baby Al at home with Mother Ani, they left at eight in the morning by driving her flagship pic-up car.

Early Neng saw her daughter Mother Sumi wearing a graduation shirt, a toga shirt, only a thousand languages silent, as she sat beside the steering wheel with Neng on the way to the hotel, where she was traveling, cold sweat began to pour out all over his body. Neng still survives and continues to drive his pic-up car to the hotel on the way.

After arriving at the hotel Neng was getting cold sweat with his legs shaking after seeing there SMU children sitting in a row wearing toga clothes, the shadow of the past when Neng returned home graduation had to sit together married siri with Mr. Alfarizi always imagined in the eye pelukan, keep forcing to step inside the hotel hall to accompany Mother Sumi who never set foot into the hotel.

Not wanting to disappoint Mother Sumi and her Daughter, Neng continued to try to calm her heart and calm her heart by thinking and mentioning her son Alfian's name many times, many times, but if the body can not be in line with his mind and heart, after being able to survive sitting in the place of the family invitations while the event handed over the ijasah symbolically held, and Mother Sumi's daughter down from the stage, Neng could no longer bear to drown faintly in his chair because the shadow of Mr. Alfarizi said the word ijab qobul was always tempted in his ear.

There was a panic of people who were around Neng especially Mother Sumi, they stood up and laid Neng's body cold as ice and did not move at all.

"Neng Mitha get up, O Allah why is his body so cold?" Sumi's mother patted Neng's cheek feeling worried because she suddenly fainted not knowing why.

"Please give me a little room, so that oxygen can freely enter here!" said the middle-aged father who was sitting next to Mother Sumi.

"Call the hotel attendant, someone has passed out, let's quickly get to the hospital!" shouted a mother wearing a maroon red kebaya.

Half an hour later Neng arrived at the hospital ER still in a state of fainting, he said, Ani's mother, holding Alfian in a row, followed Neng in the hospital when she received news that Neng had fainted while sitting in the hotel hall.

Neng's condition was exactly like when she fainted after the completion of the seven-month anniversary of her pregnancy at that time, so the ER Guardians immediately assigned Doctor Harry to deal with Neng, after Neng was moved in the hospital room shortly after waking up from his stupor, came Doctor Harry sitting next to the place's banker.

"So much less did my beautiful sister start to experience events like before?" ask Dr. Harry.

"Doctor Harry, help me!" said Neng while holding her dizzy head.

"I've been treating you like my own sister, we've known you for almost a year, call me brother ok!"

Neng just looked at my Doctor Harry as he looked worried, even nodding as if reluctant, it felt like his head was heavy.

"What's the matter Neng Mitha, did you meet the Banana Tree while at the hotel?"

Neng simply shook his head while crying in astonishment and blank eyes.

"O my brother Geulis, tell me about your handsome brother!"

"If the story, Abang promised to take Abang and Zain's wife here, Brother introduced them, from yesterday Brother told his mother Zain if Abang has a patient who is Geulis and already like his own sister,"

"Did you tell me about me, Doc?"

"I don't want to answer if you still call me Doctor, call Harry's Brother handsome!"

"Narcissistic basis, well Brother Ganteng, from now on I have Brother,"

"Naaah so dong, Brother never told me about the patient while at home, it is privacy between the doctor and the patient just calm down."

Neng took a deep breath, it felt like his heart was always tight and could not breathe especially when he remembered the past, toga uniforms are like items that are very scary even though every day Neng always struggling with the stitching of clothes.

"It still can't tell you?, Brother didn't force you to mention the name of the Banana Tree, Brother just wanted to know what the Banana Tree did that made my sister like this?"

"I saw an SMU kid in a toga uniform,"

"Toga uniform, what's with the toga uniform?"

"When I married Siri to the Banana Tree, I was still wearing such a uniform, the hyx of the hyx,"

Neng cried again, the memory of the incident made him unable to resist the very painful feelings, when Doctor Harry wanted to give advice, there was the sound of a baby crying loudly in his hospital room, he said, Ani's mother entered while holding Alfian.

"Sorry Doc, Al cries constantly wanting to meet his Mama," said Ani's mother with a very worried face.

"Your son is just fussy knowing his mother is sick, he must be in contact, be excited for your son!" doctor Harry's Advice.

"Come, son, forgive Mami yes, is Al thirsty?"

"Well, brother come out first, give your son a good right, later in the afternoon you come back here with my wife and son, ok!" doctor Harry's exit from the inpatient room.

"Is Al thirsty, here son!" tanya Neng hugged her son giving exclusive breast milk while sleeping in the bed gurney.

"Son, why are you always like this, please don't make me always worry, we all love you so much, let alone Alfian need you so much, please child!" mother Ani's advice glazed over to see Neng who looked pale and sad.

"I'm sorry Mom, I'm always worried about you."

Neng's eyes stared blankly at the ceiling of the inpatient room, still glaring into a very painful past, considering the starting point he fell into the Papi's arms from his son for four months, though the event has almost two years passed, but it seems like it only happened this morning when he saw the uniform toga clothes.