What is my fault, sir?

Baby Alfian Alfarizi's

After pondering all night Neng this morning felt calmer, although sometimes still crying while reminiscing about the past, and determined to fight only for the sake of his son and those around him.

This morning Neng's plan will see her son who is still in the baby care room incubator, almost three days he is not allowed to get out of bed, but when he will be prepared to be assisted by Ani's mother, she will not be allowed to get out of bed, doctor Harry visited in the first hour.

"Good morning beautiful mother, where is it going to look beautiful and fresh?" doctor Harry asked with a flirtation.

"Good morning Doc, please sit down!" said Ani's mother marginalized the wheelchair that would be used for Neng.

"I'm sorry Mom, I'm watching her daughter first" Harry said.

"Please Doc, Neng Mitha I'm out for a while, after the doctor's visit we just saw baby, ok!"

Neng nodded and smiled as it turned out that Ani's mother could compensate for Doctor Harry's joke that made her smile.

"How's Neng Mitha doing?"

"I'm good Doc,"

"I wanted to collect Neng Mitha's promise yesterday, because I felt guilty all night unable to sleep, Neng joked,"

"Doctors can do it,"

"Well we start yes, did Neng Mitha can tell you a little why yesterday could faint even though at that time said Mother Ani the whole family was happy to finish doing the seven-month gestational age?"

"I'm being --!" said Neng hesitated not so continue his words, his eyes began to glaze over.

"Neng Mitha, listen to me, you need not hesitate to tell me, your secret will be safe to me, I just want to help young mother so that no baby blouse occurs shortly after giving birth,"

"My baby left me when I was two months pregnant,"

"O Allah, my Lord, be patient, Neng Mitha, please continue the story!"

"My father was in fact wrong, I married siri to a married man with a five-month agreement with dowry 2 AD, after four months my sir's husband told me and left me, but she left me pregnant,"

"God is cruel, so he didn't know you were pregnant?"

"No Doc, I was determined to raise my own son, but after I saw the television show my husband and his legal wife also had a beautiful daughter, my heart hurt a lot."

"You must be strong, are you sure you won't tell him if you have any offspring from him?"

"Dok I'm very sure, let me suffer, but I don't want my son to feel sidelined for not being wanted by him,"

"Can I give you some advice?"

"Sure Doc, with pleasure, please!"

"Sometimes your son will ask who his father is, so give your son the right to know even if only a little, not until his mother's pain will be embedded in him, understand I mean?"

"How to get rid of pain in the heart, Doc?"

"Time, only time will erode that heartache into a sense of sincerity, if necessary often mention the name of the irresponsible man, he said, someday his name will become ordinary,"

"Well enough of his meeting session this time, tomorrow we will continue again." said Harry.

"Thank you Doc."

After Doctor Harry exits his inpatient room, Neng and Ani's mother go to the nursery, using a wheelchair that he had borrowed from the nurse.

When Neng first saw the baby who was awake and moving actively with tears, his son was very similar to Mr. Al without exception starting from his eyes, his nose is sharp, and his eyes are very strong, the shape of his ears even his lips were exactly too, there was nothing similar to Neng at all.

"Hi baby, this is Mami Nak, look here!" Neng was so happy to see her son for the first time, right said Doctor Harry, all the heartbreak would be gone after seeing his healthy baby.

Come the nurse approached Those who are interacting with the baby, "Mom, do you want to practice giving exclusive ASI?"

Neng nodded in doubt, because it has been almost three days it feels ASI has started to exist and it feels tight.

"Let me help Mom, her son on my lap first!" said Sister helped Neng position her son for her lap.

Signs allegedly by Neng, the baby boy can quickly suck ASI, Neng became smiling there was a sense of amused and strange when he could first give ASI, asi, the inner contact between the two seemed to be a clop.

Ani's mother also smiled to see her granddaughter could immediately suck ASI, "Waaah smartly my grandson,"

Almost half an hour Neng and Ani's mother could mingle cheerfully in the nursery, after the fullness of the baby immediately fell asleep in Neng's arms, her face looked peaceful, and her baby was full, Neng unceasingly looked at his handsome face.

"Neng Mitha was named after this handsome grandson?" ask Ani's mother.

Neng recalled Doctor Harry's message, should give the right to his son to enjoy as a child, and if often heard the name of the person who had hurt him would someday be treated and eroded the pain, he said, so Neng decided to use his father's name even though it is incomplete.

"My son, Alfian Akfarizi, may be called baby Al,"

"That's why it's called, baby Al, I'm your grandmother, baby,"

"Hi Grandma, baby Al dear grandmother." replied Neng by waving Al and mimicking the voice of a small child.

Baby Alfian must be treated in an incubator for two weeks because of premature birth and lack of weight, while Neng almost two weeks also always conduct therapy sessions with Dr. Harry, who is also a doctor, the longer Neng more open and many stories about when he was still with his sir husband, but only one that is not told by Neng is the identity of Baby Alfian's birth papi.

When Neng did therapy sessions with Doctor Harry Neng often told stories and called Mr. Al with the title Banana Tree as when he was still living in the villa.

After almost three weeks in the hospital, Neng and baby Al were finally allowed to go home, welcomed by all employees with joy, baby Al has many grandmothers because most of the age of Neng employees are single parent middle-aged mothers, they take turns to look after their grandchildren with affection on the sidelines of their work sewing that became his daily life

When alone sometimes Neng still often cry, often feel hurt because it is not fair to his son baby Alfian but all is never shown to anyone, even in the presence of his baby son Alfian, but all is never shown to anyone, even in the presence of his baby son Alfian, Neng actually carried out the advice of Doctor Harry that he should always give his rights as a child, and should be able to put himself as a parent without a fringe of revenge and heartache towards his birth Papi.