Wedding Story's
Sixty-Two (I'm Sorry and Thank You)
Is it more painful for a mother than the loss of her child. Don't know how it came into being but it really does tell a very deep wound because of his passing.
I don't know who is to blame for this. But for now the sense of disappointment ah that dominates.
I can't believe the doctor said my son doesn't exist. He cannot be saved. I'm disappointed in myself, as a mother can't care for her child.
My feelings at the moment. Honestly, I'm afraid to go back to being pregnant. I don't know what this is called trauma or what, obviously, I don't want to get pregnant again. I don't want to be my own blood killer. Am I a bad mother?
" hikss.maafin mom yes son. Which cannot hold you" I whispered softly.
This white empty room. In such a quiet state. I'm alone here. Who brought me here I don't know. What was clear was that I woke up only to be greeted by the doctor and the nurse in my room
" Re.. are you conscious?" The inpatient door opened original and featured a half-dead nana.
" I'm not papa na" I answered, lying. It is a big lie, because in the deepest part of the heart there is a very big wound.
" My baby doesn't exist" I said softly
Nana looks at me softly "Reee.."
" I'm a bad mom, right na?"
Nana shook her head hard. He couldn't make mewek "don't say that. Lo it's a great woman" said nana cheering.
" What the hell is re. What's going on?" Ask nana
I reflexively remembered the child. Where are they who's guarding them while I'm here "na, son guebwhere's na?" I am not feeling patience .
" How important can you be?" Nana asked with great pressure.
I looked at her not like "Yes can't be na. I'm worried about my son"
" But your children won't why napa renat-"
" you won't know. Because you don't have any children" as I.
" Where is my son now. What time is it, Fiona hasn't been picked up at school" I said a little frustrated. I'm afraid they're why napa. Enough of their sadness today. Don't add any more.
" I will not tell your children where, before you tell me everything is the same" Ketus nana
" Yes what you want to know, I miscarried you must already know na"
" you're out of a storm with big fadil?" Nana's asking full of questions
" the wound on the corner of the lip, who did it?" This time, Nana looked at me seriously.
" Fadil, right?" Nana returned to research
Nana is reckless. If he knew kak fadil was playing with me, he would not hesitate to drag kak fadil to the police. And I don't want that to happen. I don't want my son to be separated from his father.
" Mum.kanlah.ngarang aja lo"
" I can't lie to you. It wasn't two days I knew you. Anyway, why fadil brother should nyuru I came here for keepinlo. Why doesn't he, if you don't have any more problems"
I shakes unsure. Brarti fadil doesn't care about me and his son at all. Sampe sampe nana waiting for me in the hospital. How did you mas.
" where is she now?" I asked with a blank look.
" noh outside. Daritadi won't come in. I was the one who was told to come in. I'm sure it's a storm" said Nana guessed
I nodded weakly at the sign of the answer to my question asking "my son where is na?" I'm the one who misses the same beautiful and handsome boy.
" i'm playing with Aldo" replied a short nana that made me laugh in surprise.
" Na..emang aldo can handle fayyadh?" I was a little shocked. Fayyadh is a 6-month-old baby. Themselves cannot yet. How could aldo who took care of two boys.
" It's not her who takes care of her mother" explained nana who made me a little relieved.
" Naa, call Aldo dong bring the kids here. I miss" my great-grandson.
Fyi, nana high school Aldo's planning to get married. The original plan was after aldo graduated from college. But nana who asked for a spit in halalin, afraid aldo smitten other girls in the campus. The young marriage is beautiful, yes walaulun is beautiful, but many are also not tasty.
" The same time as my future husband" my god to nana
" Ihh nausea I denger lo talking about it re" said nana gidik amused.
" Come dong na, I ngida-"
" Ape lo, say a cravings. You're not pregnant anymore" prune nana
" my original upss.re.was not on purpose" said nana feeling guilty.
" No papa na. Kan that you say true" I'm back to remember the wound, which I had forgotten a little a few minutes ago.
" Gini deh, I went to Aldo's house to pick up your children" said Nana suggested to pick up the children.
I nodded "Thank you na. Sorry for taking nicotine" too"
Nana nodded then grabbed her sling bag on the nightstand. "I'm saying re"
" Na, call me sister fadil ya" asked nana .
****
Silence enveloped both of us, me and sister fadil. I waited long enough for my brother to enter this room, but after entering the silence that occurred. This is how, do not want to apologize, money, for what happened.
" The.."
" Have you already saved up?" I said cut out Fadil's brother's speech.
" or not satisfied. Because I'm alive?". Actually the initial intention I also do not want to get angry, because wherever brother Fadil must also hurt to lose his child. But what else, see his face can not make not angry. How could he have tortured me. I really want to remove that terrible shadow as soon as possible. It hurts too much to remember.
" I'm a murderer ya re" said brother fadil lirih who made my heart slightly sliced to hear it
" I'm a father what the hell re, which has made his son's life drift. I'm a dick to re. I'm a jerk" the fadil brother hit himself in the face really hard. It must have hurt a lot. I just saw him grimacing.
" Stop, there's no point in you hurting yourself, it won't bring back all the kayak" I said stopping the fadil brother who hurt himself.
Sis fadil poured onto the floor with a sobbing that accompanied. Wanting it to feel like I was hugging her braced her normally sturdy shoulders, it now trembled holding back the cry of "I have to how to make a blunder I re"
"Mas.stand here" call me brother fadil. I can't be angry for a long time with a child's father. My heart is soft made love. So that as bad as bad as wrong sister fadil very easily I forgive, although sometimes still imprint. And maybe this will be the most difficult.
Brother Fadil stood next to me and looked at me with wounds.
" There's a fiona same fayyadh that still needs your affection mas"
" Convince them to erase the memory of the events of this morning. Fayyadh who witnessed everything"
So surprised I got a hug arriving from fadil's brother. A hug that I had missed for a few days, and now I was able to cling to my husband's stout body.
" I'm sorry I re" isak kak fadil
I nodded confidently in his arms "Don't follow your ego if you get angry again. I'm the same scared child" I cite also who can't hold back crying anymore.
" I'm sorry dear.sorry.sorry" said fadil bertil tubi.
" already mas. I'm a sesek" said I who made fadil brother ended the event hug his embrace.
Sis fadil looked at me clingy, touched the corner of my injured lip which resulted in me grimacing a little "You don't want to bales me "
I nodded in spirit "want. But then I'll be human. Now my energy is not strong to teach you "my words followed by a small laugh.
Sadness, not to be nurtured, grows more and more within. One's fault is not to be remembered until it becomes a deep grudge. Try to be sincere and forgiving, it is better for heart and life.
That's what I'm working on now. I'm not hurt by losing a child. But this is destiny, which is set by God and is our life's choice. Live and receive with spacious chest, easily will come the happiness that accompanies.
Maafin mother son, and thank you for stopping by in the life of the mother and give color even though only some time. Don't hate both your parents, baby, especially dad. Because actually, I am also very much waiting for your presence. Who is calm there, mother will not forget that you are the 3rd child mother. Mother's prayer will always be poured out for you dear. Sorry and thank you
