The Step Sister of Tiri

73. Wounds of the past and present

After the dawn prayer, Zayna was still in the room. He chose to read a book. Regarding food for breakfast, she did not want to cook today. They can order from the outside if they are hungry.

Ayman approached his wife and gave her a code to complete her reading. The man knew that Zayna must have deliberately kept herself busy in the room. The woman complied and ended what she had read.

"Why are you still here? Doesn't it cook?" ask Ayman gently.

"No, Mas. I'm lazy again. Better message from the outside only," replied Zayna briefly without looking at the husband.

"Darling, I'm sorry if I forced you too much. I know you're still hurt, but don't get too drawn up, yeah! It is not good for a Muslim to hold a grudge. Especially the same old man."

Zayna was silent, not responding to her husband's words. He lowered his head. Though from earlier the woman did not want to discuss this at all, but Ayman instead reopened the wound that he was trying to cover up.

"Yes, then. Let me order some food, what do you want to eat?" ask Ayman.

"Whatever, Mas, just."

Ayman nodded and fiddled with his phone. He ordered his wife's favorite food. As for the in-laws, the man only ordered common food. Ayman was afraid that her in-laws would not like her.

"I'm going out first, yeah, honey. Wanna take a walk in the park for a while" said Ayman who is adopted by Zayna. As the man exited, Mama Savina and Papa Rahmat walked towards the kitchen.

"Good morning, Pa, Ma" said Ayman.

"Good morning, where's Zayna?"

"There's in the room, Pa."

"Oh, Papa thought he was cooking earlier" said Papa Rahmat in a sad tone.

"I forbid Zayna to cook, Pa. I saw he was still tired, so I ordered food from outside. Let's just wait, we'll be here soon."

"Oh, I see, it's okay. Zayna's been doing too much lately."

"I'm out first, Pa, Ma. Want to take a walk for a while," said Ayman who was taken by his two-in-law.

"Ma, Papa wants to talk to Zayna for a second. Please take her to the front of her room" asked Papa Rahmat.

"Is Papa sure? Do I need a Mama's friend?"

"No need, Papa wants to talk alone first."

"All right." Mama Savina pushed her husband's wheelchair into her eldest daughter's room.

As soon as she got to Zayna's doorstep, Mama Savina left her husband there. Papa Rahmat knocked on the door of his daughter's room several times, until the door opened. Zayna was standing there.

"Papa's gonna talk for a second, all right?"

"What do you want to say? I'm tired again." Zayna tried to avoid. He still can't talk to his dad.

"Just for a second. Papa knows you're mad at Papa."

Zayna was not at all surprised by her papa question. The woman nodded and let the man into the room. Papa Rahmat stopped his seat beside the bed, while Zayna sat on the edge of the bed. The two fell silent, not knowing where to talk from.

"Didn't you say you wanted to talk about something? Why just shut up? If it doesn't, Papa better get out. I want to rest" said Zayna breaking the silence.

"Papa apologizes for what happened so far is the same as you," said Papa Rahmat while bowing his head.

"I'm sorry about what?" zayna pretended not to know.

"Papa knows you must have been hurt by Papa's attitude all along, which has been differentiating you, but you need to know, Papa does not intend to do it intentionally. Papa always generalizes you guys. It's just that Papa can never be close to you because every time he sees your face, Papa must be reminded of the late Mama Aisyah."

"Is it because Mama Savina told me that I'm the cause of Mama's death and that I'm the one with the shit?"

"Why are you carrying Mama Savina's name?" ask Papa Grace who does not like to hear the words of her daughter.

That made Zayna snitch cynically. His father always defended his wife and other children, but not himself. Can't the man defend her just once?

"Because that's the truth. He always told everyone that I was the source of the catastrophe, the source of the misfortune in this family. Mama Aisyah died giving birth to me and everything I did would definitely bring disaster. Everyone believes that, including Papa. Did Papa ever investigate everything? Did Papa ever ask me what I wanted? Never does. Papa always asked me about my situation through Mama Savina. Even gave me a gift through Zanita, which turned out that everything never reached me."

Papa Mercy was still silent with her head lowered. He did not deny at all what his daughter said because that was the reality. If only the man would be at peace with the situation and accept destiny sincerely. It's not gonna be like this.

"Don't you think I don't know! I know everything. When Zanita burned all of Papa's gifts for me, she said I burned them. When Papa asked Mama Savina about my situation, she said I was okay. Papa never knew how I was doing, when I had a fever I was only given a heat-lowering drug, without anyone touching me. I want to be like the other kids. He was hugged by his parents and said I would be fine. I want to be taken care of all night when I have a fever. Celebrate the birthday even if only with a rice cone. What is wrong if a child has such a desire? I'm sure Papa isn't deaf and not blind just pretending to be deaf and pretending not to see me. At that time I tried to raise my heart that I was the oldest child in this family and it was fitting that I sacrificed for my brothers, but—"

Zayna paused her sentence because it was too painful. The wounds his family inflicted were really very deep. Can he treat it when everything is really painful.

"But the truth I heard yesterday really hurt my heart. During this time Zanita turned out not to be a biological child, but she got such special treatment. Can't I be jealous of him? Do I have to give up and give up forever? Do you think I have no heart and no feelings? I'm also a human being, not an animal that you can treat at will" Zayna continued.

Zayna wept sobbing, lamenting her fates that were truly sad. If people say Zayna doesn't know gratitude, which gratitude can she be grateful for? The woman only wanted the affection of her family, but it did not get her even until the woman got married.

Papa Mercy was crying too. He lamented his stupidity all along. There is so much that this man has missed. Guilt not only for Zayna, but also for his late wife. How will Papa Rahmat be responsible to Mama Aisyah die.

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