The Little Doomsday of My Heart

Accepting #2

Since that day, Kaffa has always treated Alya badly. He seemed to forget all the sacrifices Alya had made for him. What Abira told him really made Kaffa hurt and he vented it on Alya. Kaffa's attitude makes Alya even more hateful to Abira and blame her. Not infrequently Alya hurt himself to make Kaffa again behave like he used to. Alya was willing to deliberately refrain from eating, so that he fell ill and made Kaffa worry about him. Until he fell limp and was rushed to the hospital because his stomach acid rose.

"Eat me please don't hurt yourself for someone like me" Kaffa said limply.

Without answering, Alya opened her mouth and ate the food Kaffa gave her. He kept looking at Kaffa's face and realized something.

"You are here with me, taking care of me. But your heart and mind are elsewhere" Alya's mind tried to hold back her tears.

After finishing the meal, Kaffa asks Alya for a quick break and asks Nisa to take turns waiting for her for a while because Kaffa has to see a doctor.

Kaffa is back.

"Is Alya asleep ?" ask Kaffa.

Nisa nodded small.

"You go home, Nis, thank you for coming here" Kaffa asked.

"Yes, please take care of Alya. Tomorrow I will bring the others here" replied Nisa slowly leaving the room.

Now the rest of them are just the two. Kaffa continued to look at Alya's sleeping face. Silence enveloped them, he lowered his head taking his breath.

"I'm sorry Alya, I'm sorry" said Kaffa holding Alya's hand.

"I did make a mistake with you. You were so good to me, but my lust destroyed you. My heart .. my heart is for Abira, but you, you have been with me. I deserve to be hated by Alya. What Abira said at that time was true, I was so disgusting" Kaffa continued, drowning his face beside Alya's bed.

He went to the sofa behind him. He leaned back and closed his eyes. Kaffa who was so tired all day took care of Alya, coupled with his completely chaotic mind, quickly fell asleep.

Unconsciously Alya slowly opened his eyes, his tears started to wash over his face. It turns out that Alya's sleep was disturbed because Kaffa was holding her hand. But Alya did not want to open his eyes, he accidentally heard everything Kaffa said. His heart was sliced because his guess was right, Kaffa's heart was leaning towards Abira. Although Abira had hated and abandoned her, Kaffa kept thinking about her.

A few days later, Alya was discharged from the hospital and attended college as usual.

"Is all that true Abira ?" ask one of my friends.

"As far as I understand it. God will test us according to our abilities." replied Abira.

"But sometimes people feel the test is too heavy and can not pass it" refuted another friend.

"It's simple like this. If we knew we could get through that, God would not have brought His trials. God tests us to make us stronger and God believes we can. Therefore, maybe at first we feel inadequate, but rest assured if our faith is firm and accepts all His provisions, surely we can pass even if it takes time. With patience and patience, of course. That is why Allah says in the Qur'an that He will give unlimited reward to the one who is patient in receiving his test. His efforts are big and need sacrifice, of course the reward from God is also great. We will be rewarded according to what we do" Abira said.

His classmates were stunned to hear Abira's explanation. Sometimes in their hearts the slanted news about Abira seizing his own friend's lover, but sometimes it can also be temporarily pushed back by the sciences that Abira gave to them.

No exception Alya was there. He seemed to be digesting everything. Sometimes he is aware of his mistakes, but a second later his heartache on Kaffa makes Alya again not like Abira.

Another case with Abira, he chose not to think about it all. Precisely what he has in mind now is the sense of inappropriate that appears repeatedly in his heart when he is asked to handle religious classes when the lecturer in question is not present.

.

"Meet me in the park, I have something to talk to you about. I wait" - Alya.

Kaffa who read the message rushed to fulfill Alya's wish. Actually he was curious about what Alya would talk about because he thought this was like a serious thing.

"I want to learn to accept everything and try to live without depending on you Kaffa" said Alya a little resigned.

"What do you mean ?"

Alya momentarily took her breath.

"I know and I realize now. I don't want to force you. Your body is with me but your heart and mind are for others. It was free and it hurt me even more" Alya continued.

"I'm sorry Alya"

"It's useless to apologize because it won't change anything" Alya replied as he left Kaffa to hold back his tears because he knew very well how he still loved Kaffa.

For a moment Kaffa fell silent, realizing that everything was leaving him. Kaffa deserves it all.

Week pass..

Living the days without Alya on his side made Kaffa very troubled. Now that he had to try himself to do his duties, he had to try to save his meal money. Not infrequently Kaffa often resist hunger. Luckily Alya allowed Kaffa to continue to use all the items Alya gave her, if Alya took them back, Kaffa really did not know what she would experience after that.

****

"You're serious Al wants to go with KKN first ?" asked Nisa in surprise.

"Yes I'm serious. That way I hope this activity can keep me busy, make me calm because it is far from the hustle and bustle of this painful city and of course I hope when there my mind does not continue to think about Kaffa" alya replied.

"That means we won't meet for 2 months" Malika continued.

Hearing that Alya immediately rushed to hug his three friends.

"I'm gonna miss you guys so much"

"Me too" the three of them answered in turn.

Departure day arrives.

Malika, Anggun and Nisa seem very busy helping to prepare all the needs of Alya. Make sure that his friend does not lack anything. When Alya finished taking a shower and wanted to put on a shirt, her gaze was sidetracked with Malika's vibrating mobile phone, which Malika charges in the room. Alya accidentally saw the name of Kaffa listed on the mobile phone screen. Alya wondered for a moment what Kaffa called Malika. But a second later he thought maybe because Kaffa knew about himself who participated in the KKN program first and wanted to ask him. Alya tried to ignore him.

It turns out that when on the field, Alya saw someone not far from his place standing in a hug with the closest people to let go.

"Abira. turns out he went with KKN first as well." Alya's inner.

Indeed, all this time Alya tried not to pay attention to anything about Abira. Even though when in class he still occasionally amazed at the figure of the woman. Abira's daydream was then stopped when the committee instructed them to immediately board the bus.

"Take care of yourself" Pinta Nisa.

The three of them hugged Alya in turn and let go of her departure.

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seriate..