The Little Doomsday of My Heart

Selfish men

The next day on the campus...

Abira looks very uninspired after last night through a long night because he faced a situation he never imagined before.

"Who is not present today" asked the lecturer

"Alya Ma'am" the children answered simultaneously

Hearing that, Abira immediately looked around her. The look in his eyes did not find Alya's whereabouts in any chair. It turns out Alya didn't go to college that day.

"Why ?" ask the lecturer again

"Sick Ma'am, a few days ago had fainted in the classroom and yesterday also just got out of the hospital. Because the condition is still not possible, so for a while not able to follow the lessons of Bu" explained Malika

The uninspired Abira grew more and more limp at Malika's words. His mind started to get chaotic, the complicated state he was going through drained all of his energy. His body was in class, but his mind could not focus on paying attention to the material that the lecturer was presenting. But he continued to follow the lecture until the time of the course was up.

"Ra" said Rosa, sitting next to Abira

"Ra you're all right, aren't you Ra ? your hands are so cold Ra" asked Rosa holding Abira's hand and looking fixedly at her face

"I'm not papa Ros" Abira replied smiling to allay her friend's worries

"But your face is very pale Ra. Where are you going ? the next course starts at noon, still 4 hours away. We go to my boarding house just to rest, there is no one who is Ra, my boarding school is all over again" Pinta Rosa expectantly

Actually Abira did not want to trouble his friend. But what power his body was at that time was indeed very weak.

"Yes Ros we're going to your boarding house"

Seeing Abira who continued to moody silence with her pale face made Rosa even more worried. He knows exactly how his friend is. Abira will not share her pain with others even if it is herself.

"Ra you really don't papa ? what do you think Ra ? if there is a problem with my story" said Rosa

"I'm not papa Rosa"

"You think I'm what the hell is Ra. I know you will never share what you feel now. But you can not torture yourself like Ra, everything you can not pendam yourself because the end you will hurt. Ra's story !" force Rosa

Instantly Abira could no longer stem the pain that was stuck in his chest. Her tears just flowed out. Seeing that Rosa also cried even though Abira had not told anything, it was the first time she found Abira in a weak condition as if helpless.

With a sobbing cry Abira tried to tell Rosa everything. From the beginning he knew Kaffa, his hijrah journey, the lecture that rediscovered him and Kaffa, the relationship of Kaffa and Alya, until yesterday night when the two proposals came together to his house.

"Am I wrong Ros ? has God tested me with all my words ? I often give advice to you. But when I'm tested on why I'm this weak. I only know the theory but I failed in practice" Abira said covering the cry on the face with her hands

"You're not wrong Ra, what you're doing is right. I know very well how you have been trying to take care of yourself. Your feelings for Kaffa are also not wrong because you do not cross that limit even you never express it. If Kaffa had intended to marry Alya, but why did they lie to you ? Kaffa turned his own friend. You better talk this out with Alya so that bad things don't happen later. You don't know what life they've lived, do you ? Ask for honesty from them so that your heart is relieved whatever the result" said Rosa

"But I'm worried about Alya Ros' health. Moreover, his health is on the decline right now"

"Whatever you are, but I think faster is better. Now rest your body is very weak"

After sharing the heartache, Abira's feelings were a little peaceful. Abira thought of Rosa's words and it was true. However, Abira must ask directly and ask for honesty to Alya so that everything is clear and her heart is relieved.

4 Hours have passed..

"Well the lecturer did not enter Ra, but we have been waiting" said Rosa a little upset

"Yes Ros, no papa" replied Abira to calm his friend

"So where are you going ? go straight home or.."

"I didn't go home, I'm going somewhere first"

"Are you sure Ra ?"

"Yes be careful"

On the way out of the boarding house, there seemed to be a pair of eyes that realized the existence of Abira who had just passed through it. Kaffa, who had just returned from boarding Alya after taking care of him, was intent on following Abira because he had to speak to her with four eyes.

Abira does not intend to go home directly, he intends to go to the lake to calm down in order to make the right decision for him. The faithful Kaffa followed him from behind and was aware of Abira's direction.

Seeing the vast expanse of lake water meets the view, the coolness of the wind under the shady trees, making Abira a little calm. Slowly he took a deep breath while closing his eyes and leaning his back for a moment to the body of the chair he was sitting on.

"Bira" Kaffa said

Abira, who was shocked by the sound, quickly opened her eyes. The momentary calm he regained changed when he saw that the one who called his name was Kaffa.

Without hesitation, Kaffa immediately sat down beside him. Abira who was still reminded of the incident last night also immediately moved away and intended to leave, but his hand was held back by Kaffa.

"Bira wait ! stay here or I'll make a fuss until everyone's eyes are on us" Kaffa's circus holds Abira's hand

Hearing that, Abira's heart grew hotter, her eyes already teary. It is inexhaustible with the way of thinking of the man who is now in front of him. As soon as possible he threw off Kaffa's handrails and had to keep his will.

"I'm sorry I was forced to do this so that you would talk to me" Kaffa said, looking down regretfully

"Where do you know I'm here"

"I followed you earlier when I saw you coming out of the boarding area"

"Heh.. kosan, you must be out of bed Alya right. ? Alya did not enter today and you must be taking care of her" Abira replied a little cynical

Hearing that Kaffa took a deep breath, preparing to say something.

"I don't want to talk about Alya. I want to talk about us. I know you have the same feelings as me, right Bira ? your tears that day signify your jealousy towards Alya" Kaffa said, trying to provoke the reality in Abira's heart

"what nonsense are you saying" Abira replied, shaking her head slightly while remaining down unable to stare

"Jawab I'm seriously Bira ! look and look into my eyes ! I know you have the same feelings as me. What I said yesterday was true Bira, I love you !" firmly Kaffa turned his seat opposite Abira

Hearing Kaffa say that, made Abira recall last night, the night that Kaffa messed things up. The burning heat in his heart was now overflowing spilling all of his hot lava.

"Love you said ? you can say love and propose to two women at once. Subhanallah is great" ledek Abira with a small applause

"Yes ! I admit, I did tell his mother that I wanted to marry Alya. That night I was very worried about Alya and I was annoyed at her mother who did not follow the doctor's advice for Alya in chemo. But Alya and I really don't have any status Bira !" kaffa tried to convince Abira

"The magnitude of your worry is enough to assert that your love for him is also great. I don't have any feelings for you Kaffa. Go ! Alya needs you" Abira replied slowly leaving the man behind

"All right ! I will say everything with Alya if it can make your heart melt !" kaffa threatened

Hearing that made Abira again turn his steps toward Kaffa. With teary eyes, he tried to face the ambitious man before him.

"You don't go crazy Kaffa. Think of Alya's health, don't put forward your desire to have me. He's nice to you, I'm sure he loves you too. So get out of my life" circus Abira and go back to leave Kaffa

Seeing Abira's back slowly move away from his sight made Kaffa's heart burn.

"Look at Bira. I won't let you go out of my life again" Kaffa murmured

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seriate..