The Beautiful Doctor is My Mother
ALHAMDULILAH
After dinner, we continued our conversation in the family room.it seems that me and my son have become part of this family.
" aunty, it seems I do not want to long remember my age and loneliness. God willing next week both my parents apply officially to the anggie deck for me. and after that counted from the time of application I want to get married immediately with anggie deck. I hope om and aunt understand "
" o-m and aunty how good it is, while anggie learns.as we arrange the wedding time.o-m believes good intentions should be synchronized "
" thank you, thank you aunt. deserves anggie deck has a humble and thoughtful nature.it seems to actually decline from om and aunt "I was amazed by the warmth of this family.
True as the article I have read in several news circles that discuss the subject of a soul mate that the bondage of love of two people in a marriage is a matter that is very much considered in Islamic law. Even we are encouraged to be serious in this matter and are prohibited from making this as a joke or playfulness.
Rasulullah shallallahu’alaihi wa sallam bersabda,
ثلاث جدهن جد وهزلهن جد: النكاح والطلاق والرجعة
“Three serious things are taken really seriously and making jokes is taken seriously: marriage, divorce and ruju.'” (Regulated by Al Arba’ah except An Nasa’i. Presented by Al Albani in Ash Shahihah)
One of them is because getting married means binding someone to become a friend not only for one or two days even for a lifetime, God willing. If so, it is one of the glory of the Islamic Shari'a that people who want to marry are instructed to be careful, careful and considerate in choosing a life partner.
Unfortunately, this advice has been increasingly ignored by most Muslims. Some of them fall into acts such as courtship and such, so they end up marrying their lovers without regard to the state of their religion. Some choose their partners only with physical considerations. They are racing to find beautiful women to be lainang no matter how the condition of their religion. Some married to accumulate wealth. They also asked a rich man or woman to get their property. The best of course is what is recommended by the Shari'a, which is careful, thorough and considerate in choosing a life partner and weighing the religious recommendations in choosing a partner.
Every Muslim who wants to be lucky in the afterlife should crave the figure of husband and wife with the following criteria:
Obey Allah and His Messenger
This is the main criterion of the other criteria. So in choosing a prospective life partner, there should be at least one of these conditions. Because Allah Ta’ala said,
إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ
“Verily the noblest among you is the most feared.” (QS. Al Hujurat: 13)
While taqwa is to guard themselves from the adzab of Allah Ta’ala by carrying out His commandments and avoiding His prohibitions. So a Muslim should strive to find the most noble spouse by Allah's side, one who is obedient to the rules of religion. The Prophet of Allah shallallahu’alaihi wasallam also advocated choosing a good wife of his religion, as well,
تنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها ولحسبها وجمالها ولدينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك
“Women are usually married for four things: because of her property, because of her position, because of her face and because of her religion. So you must choose a good woman of her religion (his Islam). If not, then you will lose.” (CHR. Bukhari-Muslim)
Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam also said,
إذا جاءكم من ترضون دينه وخلقه فزوجوه إلا تفعلوه تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد كبير
“If you come to you a man whom you have a passion for religion and his religion, then marry him. If not, then there will be slander on the face of the earth and great damage.” (CHR. Tirmidhi. Al Albani says in Adh Dho’ifah that this hadith hasan lighoirihi)
If so, then the science of religion is an important point of concern in choosing a partner. For how can a man keep the commandments of God and keep away from His prohibitions, when he knows not what is commanded by God and what is forbidden by Him? This is where it takes religious knowledge to know.
Then choose a prospective life partner who has a good understanding of religion. Because one of the signs of people who are given goodness by God is to have a good religious understanding. Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam,
من يرد الله به خيرا يفقهه في الدين
“Those whom Allah wills for good will be understood by religion. ( HR. Muslim ).
Al Kafa’ah (Sekufu)
الْخَبِيثَاتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَالْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَاتِ وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ
“Vile women for vile men. And vile men for vile women too. Good women for good men. And good men for good women anyway.” (QS. For Nur: 26)
Al Bukhari also in the book of shahihnya make Bab Al Akfaa fid Diin (Sequfu in religion) then there is a hadith, in it there is a hadith,
تنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها ولحسبها وجمالها ولدينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك
“Women are usually married for four things: because of her property, because of her position, because of her face and because of her religion. So you must choose because of his religion (his Islam), because otherwise you will lose.” (CHR. Bukhari-Muslim)
One of the wisdom of this advice is that equality in religion and social position can be a factor in household sustainability. This is hinted by the story of Zaid bin Haritsah radhiyallahu ‘anhu, a friend most loved by Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, married to Zainab bint Jahsy radhiyallahu ‘anha. Zainab is a beautiful woman, while Zaid is an ordinary man who is not handsome. Their marriage did not last long either. If a case like this happens to the Prophet's companions shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, what are we?
Fun if viewed
Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam in the hadith mentioned, allows us to make the physical factor as one of the criteria for choosing a prospective partner. Because of the beautiful or handsome face, as well as other attractive physical conditions of our prospective life partner is one of the supporting factors of household harmony. So consider it in line with the purpose of marriage, which is to create peace in the heart.
Allah Ta’ala says,
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجاً لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا
“And among the signs of the dominion of God is that He created for you wives of your own kind so that you may feel at peace with him.” (QS. From Ruum: 21)
In a hadith Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam also mentions 4 characteristics of sholihah women, one of which is,
وان نظر إليها سرته
“If looking at her, make husband happy.” (CHR. Abu Dawud's. Al Hakim said that sanad hadith is shahih)
Therefore, Islam stipulates the existence of nazhor, which is to see women who want to be proposed. So that the man can consider the woman he wants to apply in terms of physical. As when a friend told the Prophet Shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam that he would propose to an Anshar woman. He shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda,
أنظرت إليها قال لا قال فاذهب فانظر إليها فإن في أعين الأنصار شيئا
“Have you seen it?” The friend said, “Not yet.” He said, “Go to him and see him, for in the eyes of the Ansharites there is something.” (CHR. Muslim)
Fertile (able to produce offspring)
Among the wisdom of marriage is to continue the descent and increase the number of Muslims and strengthen the izzah (glory) of the Muslims. Because from marriage is expected to be born the children of Muslims who will become people who pray that preach Islam. Therefore, Rasullullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam advocated to choose a fertile wife candidate,
تزوجوا الودود الولود فاني مكاثر بكم الأمم
“Married a loving and fertile woman! Because I'm proud of how many people I have.” (CHR. An Nasa’I, Abu Dawud. Al Albani in Mishkatul Mashabih)
For this reason also some fuqoha (fiqh experts) argue the permissibility of fas-khu an nikah (aborting marriage) because it is known that the husband has severe impotence. As Sa’di said: “If a wife after marriage finds her husband impotent, then given time for 1 year, if it is still in such a state, then, then the marriage was annulled (by the ruler)” (See Manhajus Salikin, Chapter ‘Uyub fin Marriage p. 202)
