Status I Never Wanted

Two Different Letters

I used to think that my life would never feel happiness for what happened to me in the last three years.

But I was actually wrong. I can now feel the happiness of having a husband who loves me and my little daughter. He is very considerate and always attach importance to our interests from his own interests.

"I didn't think I would get happiness but now I can finally feel happiness" I said in my heart.

Why did I think that way. That's because I used to feel tremendous destruction. Especially the destruction of my school was definitely not able to continue anymore.

But in fact the destruction that bertubi - tubi. One of them is not the destruction of the school but the things I should have found from the school even I never found because of the incident that happened to me at that time.

Which is where this destruction is when I see and be shown by my friends who have graduated from school. Which I should have found the same as them. It didn't even happen to me when it happened to my life.

"It's sad that I don't see my school friends graduating at this time. I should be like they just graduated from school. But what can make my life different from theirs" said I who felt sad to see the photos of my friends.

Where should I receive my diploma and graduation letter. I got two different letters. You also know what the letter is.

Because it was this letter that changed my teenage life, which had to be forced into precociousness. Yes it is my baby's birth certificate and the letter of my divorce with my first husband and the father of my daughter.

That sadness was clearly reflected in my face at that time. When they posted photos of their school breakup . At that time I felt jealous of those who had finished school.

"Oh my goodness, these photos are great. I don't feel like I graduated. Try it first I did not experience that event. Maybe I can also post photos like this" I said after seeing photos of my friends.

"It's very sad but what can be done for this has happened to me" I said again.

Until I couldn't think clearly at that moment. Because all day long I just locked myself up not talking to anyone and not seeing my daughter at all.

The future that I have planned will be what, and end up like anything broken to pieces in this problem that I made.

The sacrifice to my two parents while financing my school that can not be said a little was wasted because of my mistakes.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, for my mistake. You've already gotten disappointed." This is the feeling I always felt for my parents.

Destroyed and feeling guilty did not escape what I felt at that time. I wanted to leave my house to start a new life with my little daughter. So that I do not bother and become a burden again for these two parents.

"Do I have to leave my parents' house and live alone with my son" I told myself.

"But if I leave here. How will my fate be." I said to myself again.

But I wasn't brave enough to do that. Because at that time I had not found a permanent job that could support our adequacy at that time. Moreover, my daughter is still a child, later when I work my daughter with whom if I decide to go from my two parents at that time.

Will my life be good - fine after going from two parents I can not guarantee will live like that. It may not be that my life will be very concerning when I am not together with these two parents.

So, at least I'm still lucky that my parents still love me and my baby. Providing a decent life and of course abundant attention for us. I have to feel the pain first. But there is still happiness for us.

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