Status I Never Wanted
Talk - Talk to Them
My days went by themselves. Even when I stepped out of the house to buy something I wanted did not escape the gossip - gossip people against me. And I let that talk.
But when I was in a shop mother - the mother who was shopping then asked me who initially only asked about how many months of age I was pregnant.
"Eh... There is Neng Risna, how many months is the age of the womb? it's too big." said one of the mothers to me.
I then answered the mother's words as they are while mentioning my gestational age.
"Oh that's it. Continues ko lately rarely see her husband neng Risna. If you may know where Risna's husband went?" my mother said to me again.
"Em there's more work" said I who originally answered the mother's words.
"What work does this work" said the other mother asking me.
"Do not - do not have a new husband" said one of the mothers - the mother who participated in the conversation.
"Or maybe because I don't feel at home having a rich wife she's a mother's time" said the mother who seemed to deliberately talk to me like that.
"Let's excuse me first" said I who immediately decided to leave the stall.
Until finally they asked about my husband who did not come home until this moment. Yes, there I tried to endure the pain of their talk, which every word said contained a deadly poison.
Until it is attached and imagined - this shadow in my heart and mind. But I tried to hold back these tears as they spewed their scathing talk home.
But when I got to my room. I finally couldn't hold back my tears anymore as they talked about my current condition.
"Hiks.. hiks... hiks. Hiks.. hiks... hiks.. what they do not think that at this time I am hurt at the word - their in words like that. Hiks... hiks... hiks.." I said after being in my room.
Although what they were talking about there may be some true but the pain and drifting that speech finally I can no longer hold my tears.
But unlike me I have no husband but the truth is I am a wife. What is my status now?What is my status to be called a wife when my husband is not by my side and not worried about me.
There's never been any news or even just giving me some clarity on why he didn't come home. It's like nothing in my life.
In addition, at least he can come when I check the condition of the baby every month to just accompany him. What a busy and indifferent she was even just a little what it was nothing for me this was expecting to be noticed by my own husband while pregnant like this.
Why do I have to suffer this suffering. Is there not one happiness for me even if only for a moment it will probably heal this wound in my heart.
After I was satisfied to let out the heart that I feel right now. I then tried to harden this heart to not always expect him. To care about my baby.
"Let him go. Someday I will surely find happiness with my daughter" said I, who told me not to expect mercy from the man - the legs for me and my baby.
And I always thought that after the rain there would be rainbows. Which I mean when I suffer today and always shed tears. However, I hope that after I don't want to cry anymore there will be happiness to accompany me later.
Day after day after that scathing talk I started to forget about it and not think about it anymore. And try to always be strong in the face of the talk that will arise from the talk of venomous snakes that I always nicknamed for them so far.
Because their speech can make people who do not stand with their bad talk makes the person finally frustrated and try to end his life because they can not stand the talk of them.
Therefore clever - it is clever that we always think in advance what we will say to the interlocutor wherever and whenever it is. Because it could be that our speech will bring us misery in the next life.
Whatever it is I'll try to forgive their talk to me. It hurts but I have to forgive it.
"I forgot all their bad talk about you. You can definitely forget it." I said trying to convince myself to forget what people were saying to me.
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