Status I Never Wanted

Bringing Tears

Until I felt no tears coming out of my eyes. When I hear all the memories I've been through in this room.

Until it is not felt, maybe because too many tears. And tired of shedding these tears.

Finally, I was unable to stop myself from falling asleep in my room. But I just closed my eyes in this room. I heard the cry of another child.

And this made me feel touched to approach the source of the crying voice. In my dream I kept looking for that crying voice, which after I listened to and followed my inner voice where the real source of that voice was.

I came to a room in a beautiful and big house. There was a crying baby and as he believed it to be the son that was taken from me when I gave birth to him.

I approached the baby. However, when I was about to see his face someone pulled my hand and took me out of the room.

When I see who has attracted me. Me too, surprised by it. Because he is the woman and the man again. Which always fails me to see my son even in a dream but this will make me happy.

But it seemed impossible because it was this fortress of women and men that always prevented me from seeing my son.

And even then I started waking up from my sleep because there was someone who pulled me to wake up from my sleep.

That's none other than my little Puti. Who wants me to accompany her play, joke and laugh with her.

I hugged my little daughter when I regained full consciousness from my sleep. And I began to ask about the days my daughter spent as long as I wasn't by her side.

When I heard some stories from my daughter. I was like a man slicing an onion and accidentally hitting his eyes and finally letting out his tears.

Like a heart that sliced and finally instinct channeled it with tears that came out by itself without being asked by me.

These tears were unrelenting - they stopped coming out when my daughter finished her words. These tears are still dripping.

When my daughter saw me who already looked puffy and many tears came out. He also asked me.

"Mama, why cry?" said my little princess.

"Hem.. mama does not why - why. this was only exposed to dust kept mama rubbed mama's eyes then because of the pain when in the kitchen finally mamah nangis" I said I was lying why I was crying to my daughter.

"Oh that. But your eyes are good" said my little princess asked me again.

"Hem" I said, nodding my head to indicate that I was good.

Then my little princess without me realizing that she had come to hug me very tightly and said never leave me alone here again.

Because my daughter was afraid that I would leave her again. Until he finally expressed his wish to me.

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