Status I Never Wanted

Status I Never Wanted
Vaporizing My Emotions



The dream now made me reflect more and more and do not want to talk to anyone. Including the nurse who asked me.


And I am now like a lifeless person because I am still without moving or shifting at all from my current position.


The nurse finally gave up because I never answered her questions and words. And then the nurse left me alone in my room.


This is where I was alone in my bedroom that I had been in for a few months. I also pensively remember the fate I received from my school age to date.


When I hit rock bottom and didn't know what to do. Because I'm still thinking about it continuously. Things that made me more depressed and eventually suffered a psychiatric disorder.


The dream was, I thought about it and I remembered the events for the sake of it. Until finally my emotions came back.


And I immediately threw things around me like pillows, blankets and until the bed was almost thrown.


After all the messy things where - where I then laugh out loud. Then cry out - sedu. And finally yelling - hysterical screaming.


Until I felt tired and tired, my emotions had evaporated. What could not be ignored anymore, I finally fell asleep by myself.


Until the morning arrives. It had been a long time since I had fallen asleep after I had let out my emotions a few hours ago.


Now my mood is back to normal and I look around. Goods scattered about where - where. My room immediately became a room that was not worth living in by anyone.


Once those things are in their original place. The nurse opened the door and didn't forget to say hello. Just like he did all this time to me.


I took the food from him and I started eating it. I started answering questions from the nurse.


The medicine was then given to me after I finished eating. I didn't wait for the medicine to finally take.


The nurse left the door open without closing it. Which makes a sign that I won't be locked in my room anymore and I'm free to go in and out of my room.


I also received that opportunity well. I started to step my feet out of my room. And I looked around me where I saw the other patients who were in this hospital.


I sat on the bench in the hospital garden. Pondering what I should do. Will I remain at this pensive point and not want to move forward for a cure. Or the spirit to heal.


Until I finally decided that I could get well from my psyche. I was determined that when I was healed I would find a way to find my son and I would take my son back from those people. And I'll be living my life with my two kids later.


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