Status I Never Wanted

Various Flavors

When I was late in remembering all the things that made me feel like I was not shedding tears. Without asking for these tears to come out by themselves.

"Hik. hik... hik.." my sobbing voice - sedu not remembering the sneers of people against my widow status.

Even when those people insult me and berate me, I act normal. But in fact I was fragile when I was not in my room.

The words that hurt my heart pierced me into the recesses of my heart. And finally I could no longer resist all this stubbornness.

Lying if I'm not angry when people insult me and bully me. Being strong between people is hard to do.

But I couldn't hold back when I was in my room. Angry, disappointed, regret and various feelings I feel when people insult me.

Even my cries can be late for hours without stopping to remember about the abuse of people about the status of widows.

No one asked to have this status. But circumstances forced me to have widow status.

When I was busy with my crying. There was a voice.

Tok...

Three taps of sound outside my bedroom door. After the knocking ended, a voice called out to me. Yes, that voice is my daughter's voice.

"Ma. mamah" my daughter's call was behind my bedroom door.

It was at that moment that I quickly wiped my tears and went to the bathroom to wash my face so that it would not be seen that I had cried.

After coming out of the bathroom. I also began to blink - rubbing my eyes so that no more tears came out of my eyes.

When I saw my eyes in front of the mirror that was not red. I began to answer my daughter's call.

"Well open the door I'm afraid" said my daughter to me who was still outside my bedroom door.

"Yes, I want a moment" I said as I tidied up my appearance so as not to look like I was crying.

Chequek...

The door finally opened perfectly. Showing my daughter standing in front of the door I opened.

"Fear why son" I said after opening the door asking my daughter.

"Hem.. that's. Afraid because what yes, do not know what she is afraid of because of what" said my daughter who makes me even surprised by the answer from my daughter.

Almost my saliva came out when my daughter told me about the fear she meant but instead made me rich fool.

How can I not put on a face of astonishment even my lips opened so thoroughly with the answer that came out of my daughter.

"Mah ko bengong anyway" said my daughter again who did not get a response from me.

"What son" said I who was shocked to hear my second daughter's words.

"I mama from earlier I spoke mamah even not horrified I spoke. Ah.. mamah how the hell" said my daughter who even nagged me for not responding to her speech well.

"Yes sorry. Mamah was strange to hear what you are telling mamah" I said to answer what I feel now.

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