SHACKLED IN LOVE IN A NEIGHBORING COUNTRY

An uncertain feeling

Shackled in Love in Negeri 73

In 2022, I am 32 years old. Where the age is mature enough to build a household. Many parents came to give up their daughter for me. I can choose but fall so choose concubines.

In my heart there is still the name of another woman in which the witness lives life when he is at the bottom to the top even though not everything he knows about me.

My past behavior that is still in his heart makes him lock the heart on others. The woman does not believe in hate that can turn into love. His heart was hard as a rock.

"Diaha! Did your parents never ask you who your lover was?" I said as I gathered at a dinner at a restaurant I had rented for tonight with the company employees.

Shifa glanced left right, I knew this girl was awkward and chose to separate from the others while I followed the path she invited other curious employees.

"Never at all. They're not the same as other women's parents who want their daughters to get married."

"What's that?"

"Because they know that marriage is not as beautiful as a girl's fantasy."

"Are they never questioned by ordinary neighbors of ancient culture in the country think still closely with the question "When to marry?"

"At first they were uncomfortable but the longer they got more invulnerable and did not respond to the question."

"What's the reason you haven't been married yet?"

"What's the reason you haven't been married until now?" we were standing under a mango tree not far from the parking lot.

"My reason is still waiting for a woman whose heart is still locked by the story of the past."

"Who is that woman? There are a lot of women out there waiting to be your wife. Why wait for someone who isn't sure to like you either."

"That's what I love about that woman, a hot sell-off when in her heart she wants to."

"Where do you know he wants to? 1000 Women 1 of whom are not easy to fall in love and also do not need a man in his life. While you guys really need a woman, whether able to support her or not you really need a woman."

"What's the reason there are women who don't need men?"

"According to my first experience he was independent, able to make his own money, had trauma in the past living in a toxic environment, irresponsible father does not pay attention to the growth and development of the baby to adulthood."

"There again?"

"Too often see the experience of other married women in this country made free helpers, irresponsible cheating husbands, in-laws and evil brother-in-laws, KDRT and two. So, when smart women want to be in such an environment. Women are born by his mother, raised lovingly, in school until the bachelor has not had time to work to repay the parents came the man who proposed and married him. Polite is not that kind of guy?"

"I'm sure people like that have an inner wound that hasn't been done yet. It is better to take it to a psychiatrist, given electrotherapy treatment to relieve depression if not eliminated, it can be crazy."

"Your science is too far away, my lessons don't get there."

"I don't have any knowledge either but I'm I'm learning whatever lessons I like."

"You're humbling yourself?"

"I am not condescending to myself, but I do not deny that you call my knowledge too far away when I have no knowledge at all."

"Then what do you learn in worship and college for five years if you say you're still ignorant?"

"I'm just learning, finding myself and honing those skills."

"Fix, you're depressed, you need a psychiatrist. When do you want the consul let me help you consul to my friend."

***

Shifa

At a dinner on Sunday night at a five-star restaurant in Jakarta. After eating they date each other. While I was alone and felt depressed because I had no friends to talk to.

Then, kahizan came to bring colored drinks, now I do not want to carelessly drink drinks from anyone. The fear of things like Malaysia repeating itself has left me devastated until now.

"Drink first." Haizan handed me a glass of mango juice.

"Not thank you." Refuse me.

"Look easy this juice has no poison. Don't be afraid."

"Give it to someone else."

We talked at length about marriage. Today I have no intention to get married to want to be single for life. I don't want to be hurt anymore it's enough fathers and boys in the school that hurt my birth and inner self, let no other man or woman hurt me I'm tired of dying. But, dying also needs a struggle to go in a good way and is ready.

Khaizan said I was depressed and needed treatment with a psychiatrist. I was offended by his words. I know that I am depressed for a long time from childhood until the age of 27 I have my own illness. Want me to go to a psychiatrist but haven't had time because I'm busy with college and work. Nor do they want to be considered crazy, said the Indonesian.

Samapi in the contract I always imagined with the talk of Khaizan earlier. Do I have to go to a psychiatrist? In retrospect, I had to go to a psychiatrist and do electrotherapy to relieve depression.

People say that if we are having a lot of thoughts and stress bring prayer, read the Quran and pray to Allah to be given with heart. Hellow, if that's how everyone can do it. But we need a new way to heal the wounds of the heart. I will not follow the words of those who are not necessarily true. I follow my own path.

Seriate...