Pluviophille Love Story's

Chapter 18's

I sat back anxiously in front of the operating room after finishing dinner with my husband.

There's a weird rush in my heart when I call him a husband, but it's true, right?

The atmosphere that was a bit crowded had changed quietly, here only stayed, I, Mas Panji, Mama and Awan, all the relatives who had come had gone home.

Actually, Mama and Papa-in-law I also want to wait but Mas Panji firmly asked them to rest at home, Mama also asked the same thing by Mas Panji, but Mama refused, Mama refused, the reason is because I want to be close to my father.

Mas Panji did not dwell, I who as a child was also unable to do anything, if in the position of Mama, Mama, nor will I rest easy as my husband struggles with illness while I stay home.

Dad, now struggling between life and death there alone, the family was not allowed to enter, so we could only wait outside the room.

“Drink first Nay, your face is pale” said the husband who was next to me complete with a bottle of water that he poured on me.

I accepted it, reluctant to argue, I would drink it later.

“Do not just hold, here I open” he said who had taken over the bottle of drinking water, opened the bottle cap and then returned to me.

I look at him, he's a forced man.

“You want me to drink also Nay?” she said, I shook my head, I drank a little and then I gave it back to her.

Then I looked up again at the door of the operating room that had been closed a few hours ago.

I saw Mama and the Clouds still sitting awake, as well as me and Mas Panji, we were sitting leaning back, waiting for the good news about Dad.

Slowly my eyes tightened, justifying a comfortable position so that I could fall asleep quietly, until the warmth that made me more sleepy.

***

“AYAH!!!” the scream was clearly heard in my mouth along with the seething cries, my eyes slowly opening.

My mother was crying hysterically with the Clouds embracing her, I still could not digest this state, what were they crying over?

“Naya?” I looked up a little to see who greeted me.

I was shocked when the distance between my face and Mas Panji was very close, especially when I realized that I was now in his arms.

I pushed her body slightly away.

Suddenly it came across the pieces yesterday, I'm married, Dad?!

“Ma, Mama kok cry, what's up?” ask me who was not responded by my mother who continued to cry in the arms of the Clouds.

“Mbak, Sorry we have to convey this, we have tried our best, but god willed otherwise, at 05.00 WIB Mr. Aditya was declared dead”

My world collapsed instantly, I sat beside Mama, but I did what Dad wanted, why is this so, why do you still choose to leave when the burden is lightened?

“Naya?” sapa.

“Mas this is not true? Dad couldn't have died, right? I haven't even met you yet, don't give us your blessing, why be like gini Mas?!” elakku, no answer from Mas Panji, he actually approached and hugged me, this time I replied, half of my fragile soul was destroyed for losing reason to toughen up.

My father, my amplifier, the motivation I always used to be strong in the face of all trials, this time no longer exists.

“Mas I'm not happyin Dad, Dad can not go like this Mas, please make Dad wake up again” racauku mingled with crying.

The operating room was open again, some of the sisters pushed the patient's bed to make me stand to stop them, I could see clearly the body of someone covered in white cloth.

Slowly I open the cloth, I'm sure it's not my father!

My hands shook violently when I recognized that face, so right? This isn't a dream?!

Nah! I'm sure Dad just slept, yeah, he's just tired and asleep.

“Dad! Let's wake?! Naya is married, I have not been acquainted with Naya's husband, wake up Dad?!” I said that there was no response, Dad must be pranking us, yes, I'm sure of that.

I shook it slowly, it was cold, it was how I felt when our skin touched.

Until I felt someone holding me, and keeping me away from the gurney made the nurses push back on the gurney and walk away.

I wanted to chase after him, but my body still held me nowhere, my body weakened, my hopes dashed, my life goals lost since the doctor said what I didn't want to hear.

I just want Dad to get well!

I said with Mas Panji who faithfully hugged me.

“Already Naya, Ikhlaskan him” I shook my head, my tears poured out without being ordered.

“I can't believe this, Dad can't die Mas, this must be Just dream”

His embrace tightened, making me feel a little warm.

“This is the reality Naya, this is the best for Dad, at least he is not in pain anymore” he said trying to restore my consciousness, right, Dad is not in pain anymore, but I do not want to be abandoned Dad!

Both sweet and bad memories between me and Dad revolved around my memory, I could remember vividly, as long as Dad lived I always let him down, too many bad memories I always chalked up.

I didn't feel like I could make Dad happy, and he left me.

I regret.

At least let me give you the happy news that you've been waiting for, the things I've been trying to do to get back to seeing the twinkle in your eyes.

It's all too late!

***

I stared at the tombstone and the mound of earth before me wistfully. As much as possible I dodged the fact that a few hours ago the body that had always protected and loved me had lost ground, the final resting place for all humans.

I removed the rough tears that had graced my face, Mama and Awan had gone home, only I was here after the funeral procession.

“Naya is already someone's wife but Dad can't see that, Dad is not here to just hug Naya and give her blessings and marriage tips that Naya really needs”, I complained, I was sad when there was no reply from my father.

“If it will finally be like this, would it be better for Naya not to continue this marriage Well? Dad left because he didn't like Naya's choice, was that it?” I feel almost crazy talking to a mound of dirt.

I hugged Dad's tombstone, just like I used to when I was sad and confused, I was going to go hug Dad and ask for advice.

“Naya should what Yah?” shirihku.

“Bershankur” I was back in a sitting position and turned to the source of the sound.

Panji was standing not far from me. I looked back at Father's belly button, staring at Mas Panji would only make me more confused about what I should do.

His mindset is incredible. Is he crazy?! I just lost and he asked me to be grateful?!

Mas Panji crouched down next to me, “Hati will not feel heavy when you are grateful for what is, even if you think it is bad, sincere is not an easy thing, it is not easy, but that does not mean it is difficult Naya” I look at it at a glance, without wanting to answer it.

“Daddy's departure is a nightmare for you, but don't you think, what happens if Dad is still alive with his severe illness, he will be in pain Naya, that's what you want?” I looked back at Mas Panji who was also looking at me.

I shook my head, I didn't want Dad to be in pain either, but there were other options, such as the operation went well and he could recover, why did he have to die?

“What is best in your opinion is not necessarily good according to God, Nay” sentence this time silence all speculation and protest me.

I cut off our eyes, looked back at the mound of the land where Dad's final resting place, Mas Panji was right.

“Let's go home, everyone is waiting for us” take him while helping me stand, like a buffalo that fits his nose, I just resigned when he rolled me home.

Before too far I looked back at my wet father.

Though it's hard I'll try, let Dad go.

Always calm Well, dear Naya Dad.

TB