My name is Maira

- New sheet -

***

One year and six months have passed, I can finally accept the fact that I can't have dimas.

I let go of the dimas, and I also no longer felt any pain in my heart when I remembered the dimas, or saw the photos.

Every time I remember dimas, I just smile with the memories we have.

All is over, and dimas also looks happy with his new family.

I still occasionally look at the social media pages in dimas, just to make sure that I have no more deep feelings to dimas.

My feelings for the album were black and white, just to be remembered, with no hope of getting through.

I am happy with the new life in dimas, I also pray and hope that you will always be happy.

I chose to be alone and did not rush to fill my empty heart.

I chose to get to know myself better, and began to re-fertilize the desire for my future.

I will only involve myself to start dreaming, and dream about what I want to have.

I was determined to learn English, I was still looking for a good tutoring place, but Abi advised me to open an online dating account, so I could talk to strangers.

According to Abi it's a good thing to start learning English.

Abi always said, the important thing is to be able to talk first, just think about the arrangement of sentences or learn grammar.

Abi asked me to imitate the babies as they began learning to talk.

"Ra, sorry old, pick up the farel first" said abi, who had only arrived after I had waited thirty minutes.

I did make the same appointment abi to ride a bike together in Sudirman this Sunday morning.

Abi promised to pick me up at the Sudirman station, and we would ride together starting from the sudirman station.

"I'm sorry Ra, because I'm bad luck" said Farel to me.

"It's okay", I replied to Farrel.

Farel, this is the umpteenth time I've met farel.

Farel is a loved one, I will not judge abi's choice.

As long as Abi is happy, I will always support his every decision.

I always told Farrel not to hurt abi, and I always joked to farrel, that I would chase farrel to hell if it hurt abi.

Farel assured me that he would love Abi properly.

"Rel, know this is my best friend" I told farel.

I did invite Nia to take part in Sunday morning this morning.

After introducing farel to nia, we immediately go cycling in the direction of scbd.

***

December 2020

Dimas tried to call me repeatedly through Instagram.

I then started replying to dimas's messages.

It was re-stamped after a long time, but for what, it was all over.

It's free to go back to asking for my love.

All that would be in vain, because what was faced was not the maira who was nineteen years old, but the maira who had ended the age of twenty-nine years.

My heart was filled with other names, and I loved her more than I ever loved.

Two hours is enough time for me to live with my regrets.

It's all part of the past, which I don't need to take into the future.

I put down my phone, and chose to walk to the kitchen to make tea, then wait for the sun to set.

Om Rusman was right, working in a contractor's office gave me the opportunity to help me solve my problems.

The culprit has been snatched by the police, but the police can not withdraw all the money they stole, because it has been spread in various accounts.

Almost eighty percent of the money has also been withdrawn by the plot.

The company did return the money I had already taken, but that was only ten percent.

The rest I still bear alone, and still not fully paid off, it still takes two to three years for me to be able to pay off everything.

Now I live in south tangerang, in bintaro to be exact.

I bought one of the apartment units in the middle of the bintaro region.

I bought it when this apartment was just built, and now I've been living here for a year.

Although this apartment has not been paid off and I still have to cicil, but this is a gift for myself because I have struggled and did not give up in the face of life.

Thirty years old now, I am not married.

For me, I have to be mentally and financially ready when I decide to get married.

I don't want to bother anymore when I get married.

I want a peaceful marriage, without worrying about being depressed because of the economic burden.

I want to have enough savings first before going any further.

Fortunately my future husband was on a mission with me, he also wanted a healthy and loving marriage.

I also want when I have children later, I want my child to grow up well and get full affection.

I want to be able to fully support her needs, and her dreams.

I do not want to rely solely on my husband's income to live, but I want to remain independent even though I am already a wife.

Kiki and Mia are also married, kiki returns to Jogja and marries the man of her choice, and that is not wawan.

Mia follows her husband moving to semarang.

Nia is still in love, with the man she's been with for a year.

I do have plans to marry my current lover, only that this time is not right, I still have to prepare everything, before I catch up to stay with her.

We have to have a long distance relationship.

He's in Switzerland, but he hasn't forgotten a day to call me.

He always calls me when he wakes up and gets ready for work.

And he always left me a message that fell asleep when he came home from his office.

Father and mother support me if I have to follow her, according to mother, the main task of the wife is to accompany the husband.

Dad was sad to be separated by thousands of kilometers from me, but he supported me.

It took me over a year to convince my parents of my decision to follow my future husband.

All my best friends are still hard to let me go far, especially Rani, because she has to face the whimper of alan's own brother.

I promise I'll always call them, at least once a week.

Alan protested, but he promised me that if I got married and moved to Switzerland, he would visit me once in a while.

Abi and Farel had already left, they decided to move to Germany, and settled there.

Everyone is happy in their own place.

I sipped my still hot tea while looking at the bintaro region from the eighteenth floor.

Dimas wouldn't worry me with all his words, but dimas's words convinced me that I had done the right thing.

I choose to be happy with what I have now.

***