My name is Maira

- Taste relief -

***

The alarm on my phone rang, I immediately woke up, then I realized that I was still wearing the same clothes, as I was wearing yesterday, when I was working.

The makeup was still on my face, but I didn't have time to stroke my wounds.

I just rushed to take a shower, and prepared to leave for the office.

Sad or disappointed, I must swallow, even though it is bitter.

I still hope that this is all a dream, and dimas will come back to me.

As soon as I finished preparing, I saw the glass in my room, and found my eyes still very swollen.

I took my breath, tried to hold back the crying, and chose to go straight down.

Mr. Lardi, the base motorcycle taxi that has become my subscription to go to the office every morning, is waiting for me at the boarding fence.

I immediately put on my helmet, and asked Mr. Lardi to walk immediately.

"You stopped by to buy breakfast first did not mbak", asked Mr. Lardi to me, while he continued to ride his motorcycle.

"No, sir, go straight to the office" I replied.

As soon as I got to the front of the building, I went straight upstairs, without stopping by to see my favorite sights in the morning.

Thirty minutes before work started, I still had enough time to compress my swollen eyes.

After I put the bag on my desk, I walked to the pantry, then I put two spoons into the hot water glass, and went back to my desk.

After five minutes of soaking the spoon in hot water, I rubbed the wet spoon with a tissue, then placed it in both of my eyes.

"Why ra" said a voice I recognized.

A voice from Abi, who had just entered the room.

"No papa", I replied in a raucous voice.

"Why ra", asked Diah who also just arrived at the office.

I then removed the spoon from my eyes, and closed my face with both hands.

The tears flooded my face.

Diah just hugged me, then gave me a tissue.

Abi then walked out of the room as soon as I saw me crying, and she came back with a glass of tea in her hand.

I wiped my tears with the tissue offered, and put the spoon back in the hot water glass, then drank the tea that I gave.

When ningsih came, abi stopped ningsih to ask me how I was, when he saw my red nose, and my swollen eyes.

As soon as miss alice comes, we immediately start to work, and the atmosphere goes back to silence as usual.

"Bi, you will meet Mr. Muklis later, yes, for a contract signature" miss alice told abi.

"OK", replied abi.

All day long, whenever anyone asks me why, I must cry immediately, so everyone prefers to be quiet until the office hours are over.

Abi and I went to Mr. Muklis' house at about four in the afternoon.

After muklis signed the contract we brought, we immediately went home after talking for an hour with muklis sir and his wife.

I then asked Abi to take me to tebet, after we finished our business with muklis sir in kemang.

Along the way to the tebet, I just fell silent, and abi chose to play the delta fm radio in his car.

"Ra, I don't know why you are, but I'm sure you can haveepin really" said Abi, as we entered the area.

I just smiled at Abi, and asked abi to turn left, then asked abi to stop in front of the house with white paint, and black fence.

"Who's house" asked Abi, as soon as he stopped his car.

"Temen's house", I replied to abi.

I thanked Abi for driving me, and I got out of the car.

Then I pressed the doorbell, looking at the abi car that was walking towards the corner next to the post office.

"Find who" asked bi minah from inside the house.

Bi Minah came out of the garage door, and opened the front turnstile for me.

"Nia has returned home bi", asked me on bi minah.

"Udah, you too" replied the aunt, holding me to enter the house.

"Who bi", asked aunt rosa in a soft voice, as the aunt walked into the kitchen.

"Aunty", I shouted at aunt rosa as I stretched my hand to hug aunt rosa.

"Maira", said aunt rosa surprised.

"Geez, I didn't say I wanted to come" said aunt Rosa as she accepted my embrace.

"So, no, you haven't been home for two weeks" said aunt Rosa again, pinching my arm after she let go of her embrace

I just grimaced, then kissed aunt rosa's cheek.

I went to see Nia in her room.

"Loh ra, new come, in anter who" said om rusman when he saw me at the end of the stairs.

I approached Rusman, then kissed his hand.

"Yes, just now, in the middle of the town, but he went straight home" I replied.

"Ra, what do you want to eat" cried aunt Rosa from below.

"What a aunt" I replied to aunt rosa from the second floor.

Then I heard the door of nia's room open, and she was surprised to see me already in front of her bedroom door.

Nia scolded me in shock, but she immediately hugged me, and went back to nagging because it had been two weeks that I had not come to her house.

After I took a shower and changed clothes, borrowing clothes, auntie rosa called nia, asking us to come downstairs to dinner.

"Ra, so go home next week" asked aunt Rosa to me, as we ate dinner.

"So auntie, I've booked a ticket too", I replied to aunt Rosa.

"You come here, to jogja, rani sama mia also miss you", I asked nia.

"I can't do it, my day off is only on a red date" replied Nia.

"Tante, auntie does not want to go home to jogja", I asked aunt rosa.

Aunty Rosa just smiled, and said that she would stop by jogja later, during a long holiday.

After finishing dinner, I chose to sleep in nia's room, because I was still reluctant to be alone.

"Dimas has a new girlfriend" I told nia after she turned off the sleeping lights in her room.

"I know", answered nia.

I then got out of bed, shocked that she knew.

Nia then said, if she had known from last week, rani and kiki too, all my friends already know that dimas has a new girlfriend.

When nia called me, rani, mia and kiki through skype, to ask me how I was, according to nia, I looked ordinary, and cheerful, so they decided not to discuss it.

"I only found out last night" I replied to nia with a bitter taste on the tip of my tongue.

"Sorry yes ra", said nia.

I went back to lying down, and adorned my face with tears.

The fact that I only found out after almost two weeks, made me feel hopeless.

Nia just patted my shoulder without saying anything.

Perhaps she was aware, any word would only make my cry even louder, so she simply patted my shoulder, and calmed me down.

I don't know until when I can finally accept, if the dream I hoped to have with dimas, is over.

I've never loved anyone this big.

I didn't know how long it would take until I was fully able to give up my life.

***