My name is Maira

- Hope -

***

Throughout the train journey that was less than two hours to solo, I thought of the first word I would say to dimas.

My wish of coming to the solo this time, in addition to dropping off an invitation for the dimas family, I also want to improve my relationship with dimas.

I want to melt my relationship with the frozen dimas.

I consciously had to choose to hold back all my jealousy, and ease my laughter into dimas.

After almost two months of thinking, I came to the conclusion that dimas was only ready with all my sweet loving attitude to dimas.

Dimas was never ready with my anger and jealousy.

Maybe I should accept the zahra figure around dimas.

Dimas had also chosen to be with me, so I had to reduce my worry.

I want to bring back my arms, so I have to be willing if there are feelings I have to sacrifice.

I didn't tell dimas that I was coming to solo, I wanted to give a surprise to dimas.

This morning I saw social media in place before I left, and posted on Twitter that she wanted to spend time with her mom today.

I concluded that today's dimas will be in the mami mita's shop.

My train departs from Jogja at about 09.30 am from the station, and in less than thirty minutes, I will arrive at solo.

When I got off the train and walked out of the station, I immediately felt my hope of being able to hug dimas back, could be realized immediately.

I chose to go to the mami mita shop by taxi from the solo race station.

Distance from the race station to the mami shop, less than twenty minutes.

The closer the cab drove to the mami mita store, the more irregular my heart thump became.

I came back pounding like when I first started kissing me.

I tried to calm myself down, and slow my breath.

My efforts to regulate my breath, not make my heart beat back to normal, but at least I can control myself.

As soon as the taxi stopped in front of the mommy shop, my face immediately turned red.

I got out of the taxi after paying argo.

Step by step I walked towards the mami shop with a smile on my face.

A pile of yellow cardboard boxes filled with bakpia with various flavors, welcoming me as my feet touched the floor in the mami shop.

I immediately looked around, the mami employees still remained the same, back and forth serving the buyer.

My smile slowly faded as I watched dimas laughing with the zahra by the door to the barn.

The feeling I had, which I thought, I could accept the existence of zahra around dimas, instantly caught fire, and turned into smoke.

The smile that had not escaped my face since I took a taxi from the station, had to come to an end when I saw the hands of the zahra beginning to circle on the shoulders of the dimas.

"Maira", shouted a voice not far from where I was standing.

I immediately looked towards the voice, it turned out that the new dina mbak came down from the second floor.

I immediately put a smile on my face.

"Maira, my gosh, how are you" said mbak dina, with a slight run towards me, then directly hugged me as soon as she was near me.

"Where are you going, never play again" asked.

"In jogja aja mbak", I replied.

"Mbak dina healthy", I asked.

"Healthy dong", replied mbak dina.

"Mami nanyain you keep knowing, kangen said", said mbak dinah to me, while releasing his embrace.

"Mommy where", I asked.

"At the top, there's papa too, let's go up", take mbak in, who then immediately pulled my hand to go up to the second floor.

"Thank you guess who came" said mbak dina, after she knocked on my mom's office door, and only entered with half her body into my office.

"Who dina", asked mami without looking at the door.

"Maira", cried mbak dinah, while opening the full door of my mother's office for me to enter.

Mami Mita just opened her mouth, then stood up, and walked towards me, then hugged me.

"You can finally see the beautiful girl mami again" said mami.

Mami then asked me to sit down, and asked me why I never came to solo again.

I then explained, that for the past six months, I have been focusing on my script, and last month I just passed the thesis.

"Yes mi, the graduation is two months away, keep rara also want to give you an invitation" I told mami.

I then took out a wedding invitation from my bag.

When I handed it to my mommy, my face looked serious.

"Oh alan's wedding", said mami sounded relieved, after reading the name of the owner of the invitation that I gave.

"Mami must have come" said my mother to me with a smile.

"When that" asked papa, who for the last ten minutes had not heard his voice.

"Two weeks pa" I replied.

I then tell a little to my mom, papa and mbak dina, if the person who will be sister alan wedahin, is one of my best friends.

My mom's office door opened, before I finished telling the story, and it was dimas that came out from behind it.

"Hi", I said to dimas with a smile.

"Maira here, want an invitation anther, nih", said Mami with a serious face, and while showing the invitation in her hand to dimas.

"What for" asked dimas on mommy.

"Wedding", replied the mother casually.

Dimas looked shocked at my mother's words, then dimas looked at me, and he immediately took the invitation from my mother's hand.

"Oh, alan", said dimas sounding relieved, though he tried to cover it up .

"Mami nih ngagetin aja", said dimas again, this time sounding a little angry.

Mami, mbak dina and papa just laughed at the reaction dimas.

"Maira can be borrowed for a while no", pinta dimas on mami.

"No way" said mbak dina.

"Your mother is looking for aunty tiwi tuh below, want to make a parcel he said", said dimas to mbak dina.

Hearing dimas's speech, he went straight out of my mother's office.

"Can, but later reversed yes", replied mami, after dimas back to look at mami as soon as mbak dina out of the office.

"Sama dimas out first yes, want to take maira lunch" said dimas on mami.

Dimas then extended his hand to me, after my mother agreed to be dimas to take me out.

Dimas grabbed my shoulder, as I descended to the first floor, until the car was parked.

The one that never changed from dimas, he always opened his car door for me.

Dimas also smiled all the way.

Dimas took his car home.

"Lunch at home", I asked dimas, when dimas stopped his car in front of the house.

"Yes, later the meal from the restaurant, yes", dimas replied.

"I need to talk to you about it, so I need a place with a calm atmosphere" said dimas again.

Dimas immediately took me to his room, after he closed the gate of his house, and the front door.

"I got a drink first huh", said dimas, as soon as I saw me sitting on the sofa in his room.

I then looked around the room dimas, and the room dimas still had not changed, the arrangement of the room was still the same.

My photo, and the photo of us both while in Semarang are also still on display beside the television and the walls of the room dimas.

I remembered all my sweet moments with dimas in this room.

The dimas room has always been a silent witness as me and dimas share our love in her bed.

Seeing the study desk back, there was a curiosity that made me walk towards him, then I opened each drawer.

This time all the drawers I could open, and nothing was locked.

"I burned it" said dimas, who had just entered the room, and saw me sitting open his desk drawer.

"What", I asked, pretended not to know, and just smiled.

"If you're looking for the same thing, it's not there" dimas replied.

I just smiled, and closed the drawer of the study dimas.

Then I walked towards the sofa, and took a drink from the dimas hand.

***