My name is Maira

life to live -

***

Darkness has been a friend to me for almost an hour, I am still reluctant to turn on my room lights.

I still choose to sit in my bed.

I'm very tired physically, and I'm also mentally tired.

Not even two months, we have to accept that nia will move to Jakarta.

Now we also have to face something else that really shakes us up.

At least even though nia is far away, but we can still come hug her when we miss.

But for mia, let alone hugging seto, to see the look of seto, mia can only see it through the photos she has.

Memories of Seto will have to stop at his very young age, seto has not even graduated from college.

Mia had no chance to age with Seto, as she had wanted since she was a teenager.

Seto who always makes mia carefree, seto who never stops loving mia, seto who just two weeks ago invites us to go to Bali after we graduate, he said, now there is only laughter in the picture frame that we can remember.

A week has gone, seto gone from our lives, but sorrow still does not want to go from the family life seto and mia.

This afternoon Mona asked us to go home, because we have been at home mia for a week, but we are still reluctant to go from the side of mia.

We were finally willing to go home, after we promised, that we would always be on the mia side in turn.

Rani, nia, kiki, and I had to get back to work, and continue our assignments as students.

We still have to come to campus to attend lectures, we also have to re-compose the thesis that we have left over the past week.

In the darkness of the night, I called back my memories when I first introduced seto to us.

Mia introduces a very special figure to him, during his sixteen year anniversary.

They've been together since they were kids.

Although they attended schools in different places, but the mia house adjacent to the seto house, making them become inseparable.

Mia always sparkles when she tells us about seto.

Seto himself is a figure who always looks funny, even though he never tried to make jokes.

Seto also keeps us from feeling awkward, when we are nearby.

He is also very good at taking our hearts, it is very difficult to be angry at seto, although seto occasionally makes us very upset.

Seto has always been an inseparable package when we went with mia, when we were in High School.

I remember when we went to the beach together.

We're not only five, but there's wawan, seto and dimas.

We went by borrowing papa dimas' car, because it was enough to take us all.

I can remember how happy we were then, dimas who was still full of love, and always looked at me.

It was a funny seto, which always made us laugh.

Wawan who did not stop teasing kiki, and also, nia and rani who complained because they felt like mosquito repellent.

That was the last time we had a vacation with Seto, now we can no longer laugh at the jokes from seto.

We can only remember him through the memories we shared together.

Memories on glagah beach, make me miss dimas very much.

I want to be on my side right now, I want to be leaned in my arms.

I want to cry and remember my friendship with Seto in dimas' arms.

Then I grabbed my blackberry, and called dimas, but dimas didn't answer my phone.

The silence of the night, and the loneliness, and the exhaustion that enveloped me, made me fall asleep in tears.

When I opened my eyes in the morning, I could see the sun coming in without a partition into my room.

I could also hear the faint sound of birds, then I saw the mother sitting on the edge of the bed, wiping my forehead with her warm eyes.

"His bed-cock is still wearing the same clothes" mother asked me gently.

"Yes, you are tired, so go straight to the bedroom" I replied to my mother.

"How is it, it's quiet" asked the mother while giving me a glass of water.

"Still crying, ma'am" I replied to my mother, after drinking the water in the glass she gave me.

"You take a shower first yes, you eat, it's already nine o'clock because", said the mother.

"You must take care of your health, so you can have the energy to comfort mia" said the mother again.

I smiled and said yes to my mother, and then I hugged her tightly.

*

Time continues to roll without pause even though we grieve.

For a week, Rani will face a thesis hearing, while I, I will take the final exam of the semester.

Therefore, nia and kiki will take turns to be on the mia side.

At least she has her best friend by her side, when she wants to remember Seto, or to cry over the fact that seto is no longer on this earth.

Rani and I will accompany Mia in the following week, because I just have to finish my script, while Rani just waits for graduation.

I tried to finish my semester exams well, only one exam in a week, so I could accompany mia right after.

Wawan does not trust kiki, if kiki is busy because kiki is trying to complete the script, while preferring to spend time with his best friend mia, because mia is grieving.

The problem begins when the wawan calls kiki, but is always missed by kiki.

Wawan thinks kiki has a crush on other guys, so it's hard to contact.

Although Kiki has repeatedly explained that she is busy with her script, wawan never believes.

I heard Kiki's story can only laugh about it.

"There are problems in our lives" Kiki told me.

We then choose to spend our ice cream in front of the terrace of the house kiki.

"The next week I am the one at home mia no papa, you elus tuh wawan ego let me believe again the same you" I told kiki.

Kiki just laughed at my words.

"You're the same way you were" Kiki asked me.

"Either ki, but I still want to endure" I replied with my bitter smile.

*

Weeks turned into months, and time remained reluctant to give us pause.

For a month, my activities were only between my house, my house, and also the campus for my thesis guidance.

Mr. Erwin finally agreed with all the chapters of my script arrangement, he asked me to immediately submit a schedule for the thesis session.

I'm so happy that my efforts so far have finally come to fruition.

Mia has also started to return to her activities, she came back to the campus to complete her script.

We know, although mia said that she was better, but the sorrow of losing seto still looks very clear in her eyes.

This week, I've been staying at the mia house for three days, mom called me this morning, and asked me to go home.

I then said goodbye to the old man, and told the mia that the afternoon rani would come.

Mia drove me to the front door, and asked me to be careful on the way.

When I got home, I saw the car in front of the house during the day.

Then I remembered that today was a holiday, so it was natural that alan was at home.

"Tumben kak at home, do not play the same rani", I asked alan, when I brought my motorbike into the garage, and saw kak alan was sitting casually on the porch of the house.

"You don't know" replied alan cynically.

"Emang don't know", I answered while sticking out my tongue.

"You know, same as rani, you have not come home for three days, continue to rani too, prefer to go to the house mia than to go with me", said alan's brother followed me into the house while getting angry.

"Casian deh", I said again while mocking alan

"Yes" said alan, preparing to throw the newspaper in his hand at me.

"Udah, what the heck is it" said the mother as I took refuge behind the mother's body.

"That's it, the child that the mother managed, If you know it must be answered continuously" said brother alan.

"Nih alan drink iced tea first, let's stop being angry" said the mother as she held out a bottle of tea at alan's sister.

"Kan mia again grieved, so naturally dong we temenin mia", I replied to kak alan.

"It's been a month, but you guys are still gathering there" said kak alan, in a high tone.

"You know your question, still the intention is not to marry me, how difficult it is to meet the event organizer, he knows the time is less than two months", alan began to nyerocos endlessly.

"Eitss if it says it to the person" I said to alan's brother, then I ran into the room laughing.

Mom came into the room shortly, when I started opening my laptop.

"Why ma'am" I asked the mother who was just standing in front of the door.

"Maira what else" mother asked.

"You're studying for a thesis hearing next week" I replied to my mother.

Mom walked over to me, and sat down on the side of the bed.

"Last night came" said the mother, taking my hand.

"Dimas asked mom for help to call you, but you didn't pick up the phone last night" she said in a soft tone.

"Bantuin mia put together a thesis because of ma'am" I replied.

"Pas I tell you if you go to the house mia, and ngabarin when mia is grieving, dimas immediately looks shocked and sad loving" said the mother spoke slowly.

"Your relationship is just as good" my mother asked me.

"Yes ma'am", I lied.

I don't want to worry mom, and also, I don't know how to explain to mom, if I'm confused about my relationship with dimas myself.

"Rara also tried telvon dimas, but not in the same dimas lift, maybe busy dimas" said I lied again to mother.

"Yaudah, you give dimas later, she must wait for a telvon from you" said the mother with her loving voice.

Mother then walked out of my room, and I had no interest in calling dimas, so I preferred to reopen the slides I would present for the thesis hearing next week.

***