My name is Maira

the wounds I repeat -

***

Although in my semester break tucked a little sadness, but I'm relieved because finally the lecture began.

This is my last year on campus, I want to make the most of my time, so I can graduate on time.

Ayu showed us pictures of her new sister while we were waiting for the lecturer for macro economics class.

Dita immediately stated that she wanted to get married, and wanted to have a cute and adorable baby like her sister ayu, when she saw the photos.

Bowo immediately gave input to dita, if dita should be able to get a husband who can make her happy, and responsible first.

"All men must be responsible wo, it's his destiny to make his family happy" he replied lightly.

"Not all dit, my father was living with me and my mother, when my mother was pregnant with my sister" said bowo.

Me and ayu then patted bowo on the shoulder, and just stared at bowo, then said, bowo will definitely be fine.

"I don't care, I have my mother who is as strong as steel" bowo said with a smile.

The four of us understand each other's condition.

Bowo also although looks ordinary when telling his family, but we know, if there is a sense of sadness that overshadows the life of bowo.

We were forced to stop our conversation, because the lecturer had entered the class to start the lecture.

At first I wanted to spend the rest of the semester credits, in this seventh semester.

It turns out there are four credits that I can only complete in the next semester.

Throughout the semester one through the sixth semester, my academic grades made me very happy, because they were only filled with perfect and satisfying grades.

It's all I can have because of the help of a watered-down brain, and there's bowo who always makes sure we do our job with perfect quality, and I'm always earnest in my college days.

Dad was so proud of me that he gave me a new laptop to make it easier for me to do my chores.

For three months this semester, I did well.

I stayed focused on my studies, and learned to accept all past dimas.

Dimas still regularly visits me as usual, every Saturday and Sunday.

I also decided that I would receive dimas with all the wounds from his past.

Accompanying dimas faithfully, and full of dreams for the future.

I want to be the one who will stand by me until old age.

It's just that hope was extinguished when accidentally, I remember that dimas gave me all his social media passwords.

Two months before the seventh semester exam began, precisely on Monday, I felt very bored, because Monday indeed there was no schedule of lectures, and I was alone at home.

I was excited and excited, and decided to look at the content of social media in its entirety.

All the social media posts in dimas made me happy, the sweet attitude that was shown to me when we were together, also in show on his social media.

The photos of our togetherness can also be seen easily when I open the photo album belonging to dimas.

My smile turned cloudy when I saw that there was a photo of zahra with dimas, the photo was very long, and it took me quite some time to find it.

Overwhelmingly trying to get out of my face and mind, I then turned to dimas's private message.

Dimas who seemed to love me only, I could not find any more.

In addition to the messages of seduction that I have with me, there are also messages of seduction and genitourity in his college friend named Karin.

I know it's an old message, but still, I'm so jealous of reading all the messages sent to Karin.

Jealousy turned sad when I saw the message I had with Zahra.

I then opened the zahra profile, and looked at the zahra friendship history with dimas.

The intensity of the conversation is dimas with zahra, it turns out not only in private messages, but dimas also wrote a poem for zahra on the page zahra facebook.

I didn't understand the meaning of the poem myself, but it broke my heart, when I wrote the poem, the day before I was asked to be her lover, and it was written at night.

Sadness, anger and jealousy flared up even more, when I saw the familiarity photos they had in zahra's facebook photo album.

My anger grew even more, when I decided to open the twitter page with his password.

Although it looks not suspicious, but it turns out dimas often reply to tweets with zahra, they also reply to temptation in personal messages twitter owned dimas.

I had never seen the twitter page dimas, or was too curious about the activities on facebook.

It's all because I trust dimas so much, and I don't put any suspicions on dimas.

That all changed after I read dimas's little book, whatever little thing he wrote in the media, potentially making me very suspicious.

I immediately closed all social media pages, feeling very angry.

I couldn't cry because of my intense anger and jealousy, I wanted to put it all on dimas immediately, and wanted to end my relationship with dimas.

Instead of expending all my anger to be dimmed, I chose to silence dimas, and not reply to messages or receive a given phone call for a week.

I can only tell that to my friends when we gather on Saturday, at nia's house.

"Kok dimas it ra, kirain I also he is quiet and does not like the spread of charm" said mia, after I finished all my story about the content of social media owned by dimas, and about zahra.

"Emang really yes ya dimas" said kiki, visible emotion on his face.

"So far as ra is concerned, you still want to hang on" asked nia to me.

"So, I love it so much because it's the same dimas" I replied, looking down.

"But if you stick around, you're sure you can be happy to see that zahra is still close to dimas" said Rani.

"I'm obviously not happy with the existence of zahra, but I also might not ask dimas not to meet with zahra again, you know zahra work in the mammoth store dimas, you know, so it is impossible not to meet Zahra" I said sadly.

They just looked at each other, then they hugged me.

"Try to think again, whatever decision you support" said Kiki, rubbing my back.

"If you choose to ease the same dimas, I will know a guy who does not lose kece in my campus for you" said mia, with a cheerful face.

"It's not that easy to change hearts" I said sadly.

Given all the things I've done with dimas, I don't want to end my relationship with dimas, I want to survive, but am I capable.

My daydream was scattered by the knocking sound of the door of nia's room, and it turned out that aunty rosa had appeared from behind it, with her sweet smile.

"Ra is looking for tuh, her name is dimas said", said aunt rosa.

"Dimas", I said confusedly.

I went down to the first floor, followed by mia, nia, kiki and rani.

Dimas was seen walking independently in the living room of nia's house, he then stopped as soon as I saw him standing in the living room.

"You're doing here", I asked dimas.

"We can talk outside" dimas asked, as he looked at the gazes of my friends behind me.

"Jude, we're talking on the porch" I said.

"Outside ra, please", pinta dimas, with a little pleading.

"Yes wait" I replied to dimas.

I turned around and grabbed onto Kiki's shoulders, then I told my friends I was going to be okay.

After saying goodbye to auntie rosa to leave, I immediately followed dimas.

Kiki and my other best friends led me to the door, giving their annoyed looks at dimas.

Dimas took his car turn towards the field thatalang outside the fence runway airport adisucipto.

"I need an explanation for your attitude" dimas told me as soon as he stopped his car.

"You don't get me, give me an explanation" dimas said, as I was silent and didn't answer dimas's question.

"I read all your messages on social media, and saw all your interactions with the zahra on social media, and your genuineness is the same woman named Karin" I replied coldly, and without looking in the direction of dimas.

"You look at the date maira, it was before, before I was with you, when you didn't call me for a week because of that" dimas said trying to hold back his emotions, despite speaking in a high enough tone.

"You're not fair if you judge me for my past, you yourself say, you want to accept everything and start again with a new sheet of the same me" said dimas, starting to lower his tone.

"But you sent a poem to the zahra the night before you took me to parangtritis" I said to dimas still in a cold tone.

"It's a normal poem, just a good night, nothing" said dimas, in a calm tone.

"I'll accept your anger if I'm still flirting with another woman when I've had a relationship with you, but I don't accept your anger for what I did before I met you", dimas said in the softest tone possible.

Tears then began to trickle down my cheeks, as she immediately pulled me and hugged me.

"I give my media social password to you, so that you trust me again, so you know that I am open, and there is nothing I cover from you" said dimas softly, while stroking my hair.

"I sincerely love you ra, I want you to be the last for me, so please believe me" said dimas again.

Although dimas always tried to make me believe, but somehow there is still pain that continues to hide in my heart, when I remember that there are other women who have a special place in the heart dimas.

**