My name is Maira

- Consequences -

***

Christmas and new year holidays are in sight, I already told mom last night, when I called mom, that I was going home to jogja at the end of the year.

The closer to the holidays, the atmosphere of the office also changes, the atmosphere becomes more relaxed.

Our conversation at lunch also changed.

Miss Alice is talking about her holiday to Singapore, and abi is going with miss alice to singapore.

While ningsih, preferring to live in Jakarta, she chose to send money to her parents. Diah too, he'll just stay in bogor.

In the office where I work, there are a total of seven teams.

Each team has its own room.

Often we only meet each other, during rest hours.

I only know a few of them, and I don't know them very closely, even though we went together a few times.

I'm not a sociable person, so I just spend a lot of time with members of the miss alice team.

I am also not a pretty girl, who can easily be a prima donna in the office.

My disbelief also made my association in the office quite limited.

During my half-year in this office, not a single man in the office approached me, nor did I have any desire to approach him.

Our relationship is about work professionalism.

Just exchange ideas, or hear jokes they tell, during break time.

My heart is still full of dimas.

I kept my promise not to move to another heart.

Although my communication with dimas has been cut off for a long time, I still occasionally see the activity of dimas, from the social media pages belonging to dimas.

I'm happy because she's quite active on social media.

Although I can't communicate directly with him, but at least, by looking at social media dimas, I can treat my longings on dimas, which sometimes appear on their own.

I plan, to achieve one of my dreams first, just a small dream to become financially independent.

I want to make as much money as I want, and then I'll spend it with dimas.

It was a dream I always talked to myself about.

I just want dimas to be proud of me, because I can make money to make dimas happy.

I want to save, and raise enough money, then take the holiday to Europe.

I had hope to have enough savings, so that I could also buy a house in solo, so me and dimas did not need to live in one house with mom and dad.

I also need not feel bad, when I wake up in my own house.

"The holidays have not yet begun, the work is yet" said miss alice, patting me on the shoulder, as I was only daydreaming with a smile.

I then leaned back, and got busy and focused on the computer in front of me.

"Thank you dimas not yet, if you're new year's back" asked her in a whisper, as she peered from her desk booth, into my desk cubicle, which happened to be right next door.

"Not yet", I replied while whispering to Diah.

I did tell you a little bit about dimas in diah, when she asked me if I already had a family, or if I was alone.

Because I was happy when I told him about dimas, I always answered the questions that came up to me about who owned my heart, to whoever asked.

Tonight I plan to tell dimas that I'm going home to jogja.

It's been a while since I've seen dimas's social media pages.

I will inform you about my return, via facebook or twitter messages belonging to dimas.

At least once a week, we eat at kopitiam fx plaza, it is a favorite restaurant miss alice.

Miss Alice always invited us to eat at the restaurant.

Sometimes we change restaurants, if the table is full when we come, but almost every time, kopitiam is always the main goal.

Although almost all the menus in kopitiam I have tried, but I myself do not feel bored, because the taste of the dishes they serve, matches my tongue.

I like a drink called barley the most, I always order it every time we eat in kopitiam.

Since we talked for a long time while eating in Kopitiam, I just arrived at the boarding house at about nine in the evening.

Once I arrived at my room, I chose to lie down on my bed, and thought about cleaning my makeup later while going to bed.

I took my phone from my bag.

With pleasure, I began to open up social media belonging to dimas.

I was so late with dimas's social media accounts.

The deeper I looked at the dimas social media accounts, my surprise turned into tears that began to fall on the cheeks.

Dimas had a new lover, and dimas didn't even tell me, or at least end my relationship with him.

Dimas and his new girlfriend, they were in a relationship about two weeks ago.

According to info from a tweet reply belonging to dimas with his friends, the name of the lover dimas is mila, he was a junior dimas when they were still sitting on the bench of High School.

My heart ached so much, when I saw the intimacy of dimas and mila on twitter.

The intimacy that used to be given to me, now he also gives to mila.

I was angry, because dimas was so proud to show off his new relationship on social media, then I cried because I realized that dimas had forgotten me.

The dream I had built, and I hoped I could live with dimas, was instantly shattered.

A sense of tightness enveloped my heart, I tried as hard as I could to breathe, even though a heavy weight was hanging on my chest.

This is my first heartbreak, I never thought, knowing dimas had left me, made my heart this sick.

I then let myself fall in tears, and felt the bitterness I felt in my heart.

I cried over every memory I shared with dimas.

The last hug I gave me was also back.

The promises we made became meaningless, they turned into empty dreams.

I could feel that this was the end I had to accept, from the consequences of the decision I had taken.

The hope that I have nurtured over the past three months, I must realize, that it has ended in vain.

Dimas has chosen another woman to be his lover.

Not even a zahra, who I thought could replace me, but a foreign woman I didn't know.

The woman who replaces me in the heart is easily dimas, when I choose to reach for my mimic.

I then grasped the necklace that was given to me, which until now was still coiled around my neck.

I clung to the necklace, and hoped that this was part of the nightmare that had happened to me.

The pain that I felt so intensely meant that my love for dimas was real, and not an illusion.

Or maybe, all this time I had the illusion that dimas would forever be by my side.

The nightmare I never imagined, now the cover of a dream that I always colored with names dimas at each end.

***