Love Stifled By Destiny's

Thinking about love

What happened to him really made me not believe, because I did not think he was yesterday-yesterday who rejected me, now how he shows his attitude that does not like aka jealousy.

"Hihihi, rasain you are Alex!" My mouth smiled to itself in the room.

"If you could understand my love, which is still the same as it used to be towards you, surely we would now rule the ark of the happiness of love," The dream mind for Alex said inwardly.

It feels unstoppable that this self is crying a mouthful, as a result of remembering the most beautiful times for our love knit yesterday.

How I must endure longing in love.

Though he was very close to me, but it was impossible circumstances, who would not be able to reach his body.

The feeling of wanting to be hugged when this self is hit by problems, once I want it once.

But only the cry can represent how much I want to be embraced in longing.

"I want you so much more, Alex. But why can't we fight back like we used to. Your love is so eternally locked in my heart that I am so tormented by this feeling that you are telling me to disappear" I said casually lying in my room.

It was too expensive a decision, which I had to pay with tears.

So unfortunately a thorn has now pierced the heart, for the farewell he asked for.

Although we never get along when talking, I as a woman do not want to give up on Alex's words. It felt like wanting to keep winning, breaking all the sayings and it felt like so much fun on his own, when he got angry and lost the sayings. Especially when the jealousy comes struck looks so cool he. He seemed to always insist when angry in speech, so funny to see the look on his face. When he is angry, it feels very comfortable for me, because there are other people who care about the mistakes I made.

"Amel, here for a second. Help me to hold on to the steps, "let Alex fix the broken lights.

"Well, it's troublesome. Stairs are strong like this, still spoiled just ask to be held," I said annoyed.

"You want to help me? If you don't want to, go there! If you're asking why it's dark, the only one responsible is you for not helping" Alex threw the blame.

"Iiihh, really a bucket-mouthed man. For example, like you, always a little bit ngaduin same mother, super strange human," Don't want to lose said I.

"Let me talk to mom, you don't want to help" Alex replied lightly.

"Yes .. yes, I help you now. Cepetan go up there, if you want me to help. Hurry up and do it, because I have an important job!" ask her.

Because the roof of the house is rather high, the lamp must use stairs. My eyes tried to stare at Alex, who was now slowly climbing the stairs one by one.

"Don't fix it for a long time" I reminded.

"Yes .. yes, no patience anyway," Alex complained.

Ngung .. ngung, the sound of mosquitoes suddenly coming buzzing already stuck to the cheek, which is likely trying to suck blood.

"Well, mosquito. Why did you come to bite me? Fuuuh .. fuuh, go there mosquito" my frustration in the heart blew in the mouth.

Because it has been expelled many times using the breath still does not want to go.

Plak, my hand swatted a mosquito so I could leave immediately.

"Aaaa .. aaa," Alex's voice was afraid as the stairs wavered, as a result of my hand having escaped from holding the stairs.

"Hold Amel," complained Alex.

"What?" I am busy with mosquitoes.

"Aaaa .. beware," Alex's voice shouted.

Bhugh, Alex's body voice suddenly fell down, accidentally already overriding my body.

The pain that had stopped, now disappeared instantly.

When the sense of vibration of our body, adheres close together.

Our eyes were both moving, staring intently at the brownish black sphere of the netra.

For a long time we were in this position, making the heart gurga feel not care anymore will detaknya, the face of Alex who was broken and handsome side to pinched his skin, skin, I stared at the goal of trying to decipher a content of that gaze, which we were now both lulled into lockdown. Though wondering about his heart, does he still love me like he used to?.

"Haching .. haching," The voice of a sneezing mother who had suddenly entered the house.

Because of shock, we immediately changed and adjusted the position, which was uncomfortable and stressful.

"What are you doing?" ask the mother who has come from the condition.

"Oh .. ooh, we're doing nothing, ma'am. Alex was just trying to fix a broken lamp, and I was trying to help him hold the stairs" I explained.

"Be careful when riding it, it can fall, later" the mother said.

"It fell!" Ceplos.

"But you don't pa-pa, do you Alex? It must not hurt, right? Aye?" mother's question implies something.

"Yes ma'am, I really didn't get sick when I fell," Alex replied.

"Well, because there was a soft bed holding you back," the mother's tease spoke to us.

"Hehehehe," Alex's voice segegesan when caught by the mother, by rubbing her nape gently.

I also felt embarrassed, when the mother who we thought did not see the action fell, apparently accidentally saw a scene that made us both blush embarrassed.

******

The wedding day that had been planned was getting closer, but the heart seemed still not ready, because my mind was always on Alex.

This self does not know, whether the act of marrying Iwan is the wrong or right action. My dream was to marry Alex. Now the mind just keeps thinking, "Will this self be able to cancel the marriage with Iwan, but how? Even if it's done, how do you get Alex again, he won't want to continue the love relationship again?" the heart thinks hard trying to find a way.

"Amel, what are you doing?" call mom as I sit in front of the house's boarding terrace.

"Yes ma'am, no more talking. Just sit back now."

"Look once, lately you often daydream. What are you thinking, son?" He asked who was sitting next to me.

"Come on, ma'am."

"I don't know, you're the culprit," she asked again.

"Huuuff, actually my heart still loves Alex very much, but it doesn't feel good to want to cancel the wedding with Iwan. Amel was so dizzy to think about it, whose senses alone there was a way to unite Amel with Alex again, surely this heart will not be as sad and suffering as this," I complained to my mother.

"Is that how you feel?" ask him.

"Heem," Nullify me.

"Amel felt the heart did not love Iwan. If our marriage is not based on love, his fear will one day hurt each of us. And Amel didn't want a built-up household to be destroyed, just because of a selfish love that didn't exist" I thought about the future.

"What about mom? Was Amel wrong because he hurt so many people?" I said asking.

"You are wrong about how you feel! But the destiny outlined by God about the soul mate, can not be denied by man himself. Even if we run to hide in the anthole, if it's time for a mate to come, surely your prospective companion will still find you. Maybe Iwan is the soul mate God really sent for you, so you should be with him. Forget Alex, it's not good to keep expecting it. That one mother's child, has refused you to come back to her, are you not hurt after being dumped?" long speech mom.

"It hurts, ma'am. But Amel's love has blinded this heart. Although it feels uncomfortable, in my heart still holds strong love!" my words are raspy.

"Would you really call off the wedding?" ask him.

"Wind, mom. But what about Iwan ya ma'am, later? Aaah, I don't feel like I have the heart to hurt him once" My concern said.

"Mom understands, it is not easy to forget love, as it is easy to turn hands, everything needs a process to do it. Amel's spirit, don't be discouraged. Relax a little, with all the burdens you are thinking about, then you will feel lighter living a complicated life in your romance. All decisions are in your hands, so I can only support you from behind. All the decisions you make are probably God's best path. Pray Istikharoh, surely God will guide the way, about who is the best soul mate for you to have" said the mother advised.

"Thank you, ma'am. You are the best mother in the world. It's not wrong that I made you a real mother" I said, approaching her, to hug and kiss her cheek.

According to the message of the mother every night after the tahajud prayer I also prayed istharoh, to get a clue, for who deserves to be my next. Hopefully the clue can be seen as soon as possible, so that the turmoil between the two choices can end I choose, hopefully.