I'm Not a Wingless Angel

REVERT

*

The Iza POV

I can only regret what I did that made my mother leave us. Somehow papa did not want to tell grandma and oma about the departure of mama, but I think mama must have joined oma and grandma before deciding to leave us.

Crying out... That's all I can do right now. Almost every night I was with Azi surfing in cyberspace, seeing - see FB and instagram posts owned by mama, but none of our clues found. Mama did not give any clue at all, her last post was about how much her love as a mother, for us her baby.

A knock on the door shocked me, I quickly wiped away the tears. The door opened slowly, papa stood looking at me from there.

" You haven't slept?"

I shook my head to answer papa's question.

" Go to sleep, it's midnight."

I nodded, papa then closed the door again.

" Yeah... Pardon Iza maaaa..."

I lay face down, kept a cry on my pillow and repeatedly begged for mercy and asked my mother to come back.

*

The Azi POV

I was surprised to hear a knock on the door, got up and opened the door

" Sir.."

Not mama, papa Dimas stood glued to me. As soon as I felt my body was very weak, my eyes were hot, I was unable to endure the longing and guilt towards my mother.

" Sr.hik.hik.."

I crashed my body into Papa Dimas and hugged him. Papa Dimas returned my embrace on his body and patted me softly on my back.

" It's Azi pa. hik's fault.. Mama's mad at Azi pa..."

Suddenly the door of my brother's room opened, my brother saw me crying in my arms. Her crying broke out in front of the open door of her room.

" Sister is wrong too.. It's also brother's fault.. Sister wants mom pa.. whoaaaaaaa..."

We cried regretfully together, mama left because we had hurt her heart. It turned out like this was a loss, mama did not want to be in this situation, so mama was very hard to maintain and manage our association, and we realized too late.

*

POV Dimas

I could only cry in silence while calming my two children - my children who are teenagers and adults. I don't have words as soothing as those used when we're restless or sick. I don't have a warm hug like when we're disappointed in something. I didn't have as much attention and love as Di had, I was well aware of my shortcomings as a papa.

He is very firm and hard in regulating the association of Azi and Iza, it is what sometimes makes these children feel annoyed and fight against him. They need freedom that is not given. But, at this time they just do not want any freedom, they even miss all the things they do not like about Di so far.

" Find mama pa..."

Azi asked in between her tears, she was still crying in my arms. While Iza just stood in front of the door of his room while crying bitterly.

" Papa's looking for my mom too.. Papa needs it too."

My voice trembled, my defensive walls began to collapse, whereas since Di's departure I've been trying to look strong in front of the children.

" Why don't you ask grandma or oma? Why did you hide all this from them? Mama's been gone a week.. Brother not strong pa.whaaaaaa."

" Papa does not want oma and grandma sick because of this thought, after all they are at home oma Jakarta. They were shocked and sick there."

Mama Vena took Mama Di and mama to Jakarta three days after Iza's return from the hospital. That's why I didn't dare tell them Di's departure. I don't want the three of them to get sick thinking about Di, nor because I don't want to be in Grandma's corner.

" Where are you going to find Mama? Azi's coming."

" Sister wants to come with me too..."

They both begged to come along, while I didn't know where to look.

" Ok, tomorrow we'll find mama together."

They finally stopped the crying, then rubbed each other's faces with their hands.

" Now rest. Papa doesn't want anyone to be sick right now, we still need energy to find mom and apologize to her."

Iza and Azi nodded, and they went into their rooms and closed the door.

I stepped in to go back to my room, down the stairs, then went into the room and closed the door. I slowly walked towards the bed and sat on the edge with my legs still on the floor.

" Where are you at? Don't you miss me? Is that how you got to me, baby?"

I spoke to the photo of Di who was located at the small table beside my bed, my tears were flowing uncontrollably back.

I then got up and took a photo of the Di, then took him while lying on the bed.

" It hurts so much more than when you forgot me. Because I can't see you, I can't hear your voice, I can't smell your body around me, I can't see your smile. It really hurts, baby..."

" I beg you... I'm sorry, I'm really tormented by this guilty feeling. I'm really sorry I left you, I miss you so much, baby."

I kissed Di's picture, then put it on my chest, until I fell asleep with tears soaking my face.

*

He looked at me in silence, smiled and then kissed my forehead softly and long.

" Don't leave me again, baby... I beg..."

Di let go of his kiss slowly and looked at me while continuing to smile.

*

" Mamaaa... Hwaaaa..."

I was awakened by the extremely loud scream of Azi, immediately got up and stood about to run to her room. That kid must be delirious, I felt his body hot while hugging my body last night, he must have a fever.

" Bukkk."

" Arrghhhhhhhh... Fuckin."

My leg hit the sofa table that I passed carelessly, I fell while holding my leg which was very painful.

" Yyyyyy... Azii... Lol. hwaaaaaa...."

Iza shouted, I forced my body to get up, ignoring the pain in my legs. I then ran out of the room, then went straight up the stairs to Azi's room by dragging my feet which still hurt. The cries and cries of the two children woke up the whole house, I saw the uni and the two baby sitters standing in front of the door of Azi's room.

" Why Azi, Azi why!!"

I yelled at them, but they just cried not to answer my question and shifted the body to give me room to go into Azi's room.

" Azi!! The iza!!"

My steps came to a halt instantly, quietly fixated on the front door of the room.

" Dirgana."