I'm Not a Wingless Angel

I'M SINCERE

*

This is where I am now, sleeping on my lap. Just being quiet doesn't know what I'm going to say. I squirm, pull and raise my hand in the air. Seeing tired and sleepy face. My mind immediately shouted, why should he get so much pain, even though he had done his best for everyone around him.

I got up slowly, so as not to keep him awake. My stomach was hungry, after I rested my brain for a moment. I walked out of the room, stepped towards the dining table. He had cooked for me earlier, but I just came through from dinner, and then went straight into the room and asked him to accompany me for a while, but I fell asleep for quite a while.

" You hungry Dim?"

I was shocked, not realizing that Di was standing behind me.

" Yes yank.. hmmm. let me take it for myself, you continue your sleep."

With a smile, he approached me

" It's not every day that I can serve you, where I might miss it."

I'm silent

" Sit down, I'll prepare your meal for a minute."

I pulled out one of the chairs and sat there. Then, Di came again while carrying my dinner that was delayed.

" Eat the Dim..."

He then went to the kitchen again and brought her a glass of water and a glass of hot tea. Then sit with me to eat

" Have you eaten Di?"

He nodded with a smile.

I ate out my dinner, only to realize that this was my second meal after my breakfast was interrupted this morning by Siska. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh... Siska.. waited for her to give birth and a few months of recovery, then I don't know what the next plan is, until when I have to accompany her Lord...

He immediately cleaned the table as soon as I saw me finish eating, then sat back with me.

" You why yank?"

I turned my face to him, so easily he guessed my heart and brain, immediately asking what happened without a base - stale.

I quickly shook my head, delaying to tell her everything. But Di still looked at me seriously, hoping for more answers to come out of my mouth. I'm down, I'm down,

" Don't keep anything from me Dim... I beg you."

**

Fetish

Dimas is still down, I'm still waiting for his answer. I can immediately guess that there is something that is weighing on his mind this time. He didn't usually come and immediately pulled me into the room, without greeting the children first. Then take me to sit on the sofa and ask me to accompany him for a moment. Lying sideways on my thighs, stroking my knees for a while, then falling asleep. He slept for only a few hours, but many times he cursed in his sleep and mentioned Siska's name.

I saw her shoulder move, as the crying held back, I pulled my chair closer to her and took her hand.

" Dimase..."

He held his breath for a moment, put out his cries, shut up and...

" Siska's pregnant."

I quickly removed my hand from her hand, staring at her head that was directly lowered in and her shoulders that were back in motion.

" I swear I didn't touch her... I can feel that. I couldn't have done it in my unconscious state back then. Now she says she's pregnant, it's not my son... "

I was still silent, shaken by her statement just now. " What else is God... What else do you want to give me after this?" I asked - ask in my heart.

My brain doesn't want to be asked to speculate right now, which I know, I just want to be alone.

I stood up and stepped into the room, leaving Dimas still crying sobbing in the dining room.

**

I was awakened by Zya's cry, opened up next to my chest and brought it closer to her mouth. The bed next to Zya was empty, did Dimas go back to Sandra's mom's house? Or sleep in the family room?

I quickly wiped my tears and went to the kitchen, remembering that soon the children would wake up and be ready to go to school.

***

Dimas was awakened by Azi's screams and looked at her smilingly.

" Why are you sleeping here?"

Dimas was silent

" Papa nemenin mama nyiapin breakfast. Ehhh. Isn't it pa?"

I answered Azi's question while tidying up the rest of Iza and Azi's breakfast this morning

Dimas smiled again.

" Papa take us to school... Papa is awake."

Dimas glanced at the watch in his hand, then got up.

" Ready boss. Had breakfast?"

" It's."

" Papa take a shower for a while."

Azi nodded happily. He was busy preparing his bags and shoes.

****

I lay Zya on my bed, kissed her for a while, then walked out of the room.

" Dim..."

Dimas who was watching TV while lying down, immediately raised his head to look at me. I just gave the code with a nod, asking her to go into the room. We can't talk outside the room because there's a union doing its job.

I took Dimas to sit on the sofa, in front of a large window that I opened wide to change the air in the room.

" Take care of her while she's pregnant."

My love after Dimas sat next to me. Dimas looked at me, unhappy with what I said.

I put my hand on her thigh and smiled.

" The child is not wrong, whoever the biological father is, but you are the one recorded by the state as the husband of his mother."

Dimas is still listening

" Please take care of her, what else is there a creature that is developing in her womb. It will not be easy to have a pregnancy in solitude. You should know it's Dim."

" You want to let me go Di?"

My chest was instantly claustrophobic hearing her question, how could she think like that. Tears that from last night, began to pour out. I quickly took both of his hands, then kissed his hands while shaking his head.

" Will never be dear... I'm not letting you go for anyone. I want to keep you."

Dimas shifted his seat, bringing his body closer to me. We hugged and cried.

" God is teaching me to be sincere Dim... Sincerely sharing my husband's attention, I'm sure you will never share your love for us, please never."

" Oh... Fetish... Who are you really, baby? What is your heart made of?"

Dimas took off his embrace and kissed my face. I let him do that.

" I've experienced the sadness of being pregnant and myself Dim... It feels so sad. If only God hadn't strengthened me through Iza, I think I'd have died by suicide during Azi's pregnancy."

Dimas hugged me tightly, and so did I. I'm sure I'm able to pass God's test this time. There are 3 little angels who raise my spirits, two women who love me very much and 1 man who will always love me. I need not doubt my strength.