I Am Beautiful

a complicated relationship

Warning because in this chapter there are scenes of physical and psychic violence, please be wise in reading well...

(beautiful Monologue)

"Even sister.., please stop all this" My cry was sobbing, yet still ignored by Mathew, who was content to prey on me like a helpless prey, after the satisfaction of reaching the top Mathew never let go of me, and left part of me helpless..

"Now you won't dare to be any more with me" whispered Mathew, without any pity, leaving me and going to the bathroom, while I was still silent lying with tears that lamented the unfortunate fate and my future that looks gloomy,

"What should I do now,

"Don't give up Lovely.., you have to fight back and this isn't the end of your life." my heart gave me encouragement, then I took the towel in my closet and slowly - slowly with a limped step - coached me to the bathroom to clean myself up.

After I finished taking a bath, I put on clothes and used pantiliners on , because the blood still dripped and did not stop immediately, the pain and pain really tormented me. Then I walked slowly and the feeling of fear and trauma haunted me, I was afraid of Mathew in the next room, when I opened the door to my room, Mathew was lying on my bed and holding my underware full of Blood,

"This is a memento - a memory and I'll keep it up at any time, so that you and I will always remember that I am the first!" she said proudly, my tears breaking at once, quickly Mathew stood up and hugged me tightly.

"sssssutttthhhh, don't Nangis dear.., big brother loves you very much, big brother doesn't want to lose you, forgive if you were rude with you.., here sit here" Mathew led me to sit on my bed,

"Now brother will make you feel comfortable" he whispered in my ear, I thought at that time Mathew would let me sleep and rest, but it turned out wrong..., the comfort in question was not to let me sleep and not to be comfortable for myself but for her, indeed Mathew was not content to vent his lust just once, this time he whispered to me so that I would not fight him, but give a soft reply,

"Don't fight anymore, but follow the rhythm of the brother.., remember.., don't resist anymore.., you don't want to be rude a second time again..." mathew whispered in a cold threatening tone.

"........." I was unable to answer anything, could only be silent and shed tears,

"don't cry baby, it'll just make me more and more lustful" he whispered again in a gasping, gasping voice,

Mathew unbuttoned my shirt slowly and began to pique my lips with heat, Not forgetting that this whole neck was drained***** by Mathew who was on high, I couldn't enjoy the slightest bit, I couldn't enjoy it, fear and heartache and physical pain still enveloped me,

Then Mathew did all his mischief violently, again and again mercilessly, without the slightest bit of pity on me who was still a teenager, his breath hunting like an animal!!! panting undeterred, while my heart was beating so fast not because it was affected by the pleasure of the fondness, but because of the fear of mathew's rude attitude towards me,

"Why are you silent like a deck statue?! reply fondling!" mathew's orders, though,

Every time I moaned in pain and at that moment Mathew was happy,

"Not Beautiful!!! you are not weak!!! you need to be able to help yourself!!" my heart screamed in disbelief with Mathew's treatment, then I slapped him firmly and immediately he was shocked and stopped his activities

"SATURPP!!!!!!" shout "SUPPEN!!! AND STOP!!! I'M NOT AN ANIMAL YOU CAN TREAT AS BADLY AS YOU!!!" how hysterical, I can no longer endure the tightness in my chest, "YOU WANT WHAT SIS??!! HUH??!!! WHAT ELSE??!!!! YOU WANT TO KILL ME??!!!!! BETTER KILL ME BROTHER!!! FROM ME LIVING LIKE THIS" I cried out hysterically - so, my tears were rushing, my eyes were heavy with swelling,

Then Mathew gently hugged me, "I'm sorry big brother who is like an animal, big brother will take responsibility for your future." she said gently as she stroked my head, "I'm sorry dear brother..., brother won't treat you like this anymore.., I'm a real bastard!!" he continued, beating himself up, then he hit his head just to the wall while there was blood coming out of his forehead.

I was so freaked out to see him do that and my heart couldn't bear to see him like that, our relationship was so complicated, I hated him so much right now, really hated him to the deepest recesses of my heart, but in the recesses of my heart I also loved her very much, "Beautiful you are such a fool." I muttered, "why do you still want to hang on with these jerks!" my heart is at war with myself.

"Adek.., brother please.., forgive brother Dek..," he asked, saying,

"Come away, brother.., leave me alone, but I beg you, brother.., do not hurt yourself, I cannot see it" I asked, saying, please go back to your workplace in the cold city I don't want to be near you brother..

"Sister is only four days here, please be nice with brother even for a moment, if brother has returned if you want to separate then brother will no longer refuse him" said Mathew, said, suddenly I went back up the black, I hit him as hard as I could, I slapped his face I kicked as much as I could vapourize all my emotions at that time,

"Your bastard!!! after you ruined me like this, you just said you wouldn't refuse if I decided on you?!!!! then you said you would take responsibility for my future!! you're a Laknat man, brother!!!!" I'm back hysterical, my heart is breaking, my life feels like it's just been hit by a nuclear bomb!

"Do you know brother?!! after this there will no longer be a man who respects or will appreciate me!!!" my tears became - so,

"I'm sorry brother!! brother will not let you go, pardon me." he begged me with my feet,

I sat down in my tears, cheating while hugging Mathew.., I was afraid of losing Mathew, all this time I was never afraid of losing Mathew, but at that time I was very afraid of losing Mathew, but at that time I was very afraid of losing Mathew, I thought at that time only Mathew was my only hope, he would not criticize me and would still appreciate me as a good woman - well, well, since he was the one who had taken away my crown that no one would be able to return, I was stuck in this complicated relationship, I knew when I would survive with Matthew, but I will continue to endure for the good of my own future..

What a sad thought...

Mathew went somewhere, after I begged to be left alone and not want to be disturbed by anyone..,

There is no way I can tell anyone about my current fate, everything I will keep to myself, lest I become a disgrace to my family..

My heart really hurts...

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*connect,

"Hi readers, when I type this chapter, I can really feel even a little bit of suffering felt by mbk Indah, we are equally crying, she is crying because reminiscing about her past, she said, and I cried because I conveyed my suffering through this writing, my message to the parents especially those who have daughters, this is my personal message as an author, please take care of girls like you to take care of your own lives, and teach your boys to respect and cherish a woman like they respect and cherish her mother,., lest there be another Beautiful - another beautiful on the face of the earth*..."