I Am Beautiful
Memories of Childhood
"The past can never be repeated..
The present can only be lived
The future I don't know what awaits me...
all I know is, I just want to survive.
and seek a speck of eternal happiness...
although I know..., eternal happiness I will not get in this mortal time..."
Pensively leaning on my room pillow, looking at the past.., although now everything feels very short but the memories that strengthen me to survive...
Papa..., is my first love.., his affection for me is engraved in my life.., he makes me a woman who is able to survive despite being hit by various problems, but until now I was still able to get up and hold on to my positive thoughts, that I should live... although heavy but I must be grateful as long as this breath is still contained body and heart is still beating.., then. if today I am sad maybe tomorrow I will be happy..., Hope is still there and I am alive because I have Hope... Doesn't everyone have to be like that?
"Fuck up!!!!! Papa's Home... Papa's Home!!!" my screams are full of excitement...
"Beautiful Papa's favorite child.., Happy birthday my dear..., today the Son of Papa is no longer a Toddler because he is 6 years old, Beautiful must be a good-natured papa girl and remember to dream sky-high dear.., hope is always there." Papa said to me..., although I do not understand all the advice he always repeated every birthday, but the words from Papa now I understand..,
It was my 6th birthday, I was so happy because I was waiting for my sister's birth.., "Great...., what gift would you like from my dear mama?" from behind my mother approached me while hugging Papa...,
"Beautiful want sister Indah born soon ma.., that's it.., and Indah Mau Pita Baru hehehee.." said spoiled me.
"Well mama, already know what your daughter wants, this mama has bought a new Ribbon that last week Beautiful look at the accessories store " while pairing Red Ribbon in my short Hair..
"hemmmmm...." my grunts while looking up at the sky of my room...," what a beautiful memory that..., not the memory of the gift I got, but I longed for the harmony of my family...
Tears fell on my cheek, how much my heart ached like a sharp dagger every time I remembered how wonderful a time when the whole family was still intact...
as if the destruction of my parents' household made a gaping wound to this day, traumatic adolescence that must always be faced with quarrels, infidelity and even I became a victim of the state of my family's life...
it all started with the bankruptcy of the company....
Between 1995 or 1996 (i forgot) was the beginning of my Family's disaster, at that time I was 7 years old grade 3 Elementary School was about to go up grade 4 Elementary School, I don't know even the faintest in my memory the cok checks that often happened to my parents..
One day my parents were on vacation to Surabaya.., I was entrusted to my father's foster child in our house located in the city of Jambi - Sumatra, Indonesia,
we were engaged as usual for a few weeks, although my heart is sad at staying both my parents and my little brother away but to my two foster brothers is always good and comforting as well as faithfully looking after and caring for me like his own biological sister...
cring.kring...
"hello good night, with Mr Leo's family home here, sorry who am I talking to?" said Ana (one of my foster sisters)
"Beautiful again watching tv ma.., while in the same feeding bribe Yani (my other foster brother), and ma, that this Saturday there will be received a report, and there will be a long holiday for 2 weeks ma." Ana told Mama Mery.
"Dad Ana, that's what mama told you, this Saturday please represent mama and papa to take the Beautiful report at school, and take care of the letter Moving to Surabaya, Surabaya, Indah and Leo Junior will send mama to brother mama in Surabaya, because mama must help Papa to work, this monetary crisis makes Papa very stressed and frustrated Ana, because of the, mama can't tell me everything, but that's how it is, so please mama yah Ana..." Pinta mama Mery to sister Ana..
"Well, ma.., Ana will take care of everything." said Ana to calm Mama Mery's heart..
"Beautiful..., this Saturday later sister Ana who took your report, and Monday, later Indah brother delivery to Surabaya by plane well...??" I was so happy I shouted a hooray of excitement...
In my mind, I will vacation in Surabaya, meet with Tanteku and Omku, and will walk to a pleasant place....,
But the joy is just a mirage, I can't remember 1 year of living with Aunt Sandra and Om Santoso, Full of Physical violence, I can't remember, and the punishment I shouldn't deserve as a 7-year-old...
In Surabaya I went to 4SD school, living far away from my two biological parents, subjected to very harsh and sadistic physical torture if I was unable to do PR, often I am always forbidden to play with my friends, so to play with my friends I am forced to lie with them, and if I am caught lying then I am finished...
The punishment I received was not a Punishment that I could easily forget until today, when I am unable to understand the explanation of the mathematical formula taught in the school of Om santoso will be very angry with Indah,
Beautiful naked only use ********** and in the strap told to stand on the porch at 02:00 am, at dawn, Om Santoso took the water in the bucket and took some ice cubes from his frezzer dipped in the bucket filled with water, after it was cold enough for him, he splashed the water on the head of Indah, Indah, to make Indah shiver cold, as in stoning millions of needles all over the body Beautiful because of the cold so sharp...,
Aunt Sandra could only see from the window of her house.., "please be beautiful, tanteee.." I said as I looked into the eyes of Aunt Sandra, his flesh blood as well.., but there was not the slightest taste of pity in his eyes...
"Lord.., please Lovely.., Beautiful is not strong God.., forgive if Beautiful fool is not able to do this math task.., but Beautiful Fear of freezing to death God..., please be beautiful.." while crying I prayed, this body trembled uncontrollably, suddenly came someone when the sky began to light came with a thick blanket wrapped my thin body and carrying me, I was, the drowsiness was unbearable, limp, cold seemed to make me between conscious and unconscious..
"Great wake up Beautiful, this is drinking Hot Ginger Tea that son.." said Om Felix in the Village Hall housing complex, "Dad Om Felix thank you very much.." I said..
Om Felix is the head of coral cadets at the Housing Complex where Aunt Sandra and Om Santoso live..,
While holding the Telephone of Village Hall Om Felix put the phone handle in my ear. "Beautiful.., are you okay, son? forgive me mom and dad who put you in Aunt Sandra and Om Santoso well son.., mom promised to pick you up soon" said a woman who is none other than Mery's mother, Mama Mery,
"yes maaaa..., beautiful not strong here ma.., please Beautiful ma.." said hysterically full of tears..
It turns out that before Om Felix woke me up, he had already called Mama and told her everything that had happened in the past few days.
After talking to Mama, there was a fear so great that it made me tremble at the thought of going back to that house again, the home of the butchers, little children, I was trembling at what would happen after this.
So great a burden I had to bear as a seven-year-old, already have a fear and a sense of trauma that makes Beautiful like a depressed child and almost never Lovely laugh when with Om and Aunt.
#episode 1
Please like and coment well my good readers 🥰, I will perfect all the episodes in this novel, let you read it in more detail, make it all, lope lope three thousand for my readers 😘
