First Love Without Rest

Stop off

I saw Amri driving his motorcycle from the porch of my house. After he did not look at it again, I took off my smile when I saw about the minimarket plastic that I finally received in my hand. I knocked on the door a few times but there was no answer from inside the house, apparently I forgot to bring the keys. As a result, I turned to the side of the house and would enter through the side door near the kitchen.

Just about to arrive at the door, I heard again the quarrel of my parents. My pleasure today suddenly changed drastically to anger and annoyance. They didn't even notice my arrival as I passed through to my room on the upper floor.

When I entered the room I threw the small sling bag I was wearing at the same time with the minimarket plastic full of my snacks. Then I sat down on the floor leaning on the edge of my bed and cried as it would be. Still trying to hold back my crying voice so my parents wouldn't hear.

Apparently I was too irritated that I ended up screaming so loudly and throwing all the stuff around me. Those who may be shocked and aware I've come home to see their quarrels rush into my room and bang on his bangs.

"Fei, Feizaaaa .." call Mami while continuing to knock on the door and play the doorknob of my room that I have been locking since coming. "Feiza .. open baby" said Papi chimed in. They took turns calling my name and begging me to open the door for them. But not a word I said to them, I just kept crying.

I woke up to the morning sunlight coming through the balcony door of my room that was already open. I just thought about who opened my balcony door and why I woke up in bed, because as I remember last night I sobbed on the floor.

"Krekk .." The door to my room opened and Mami came in with a tray filled with breakfast for me. "school hard was Fei today" Mami said as she sat on the edge of the bed. Instead of answering, I got out of the bed, picked up a towel in the hanger and stepped into the bathroom.

I took a long shower in the hope that Mami would get out of my room soon after I finished taking a bath, but it turned out that my guess was wrong, Mami was still waiting for me leaning on the balcony door. "Fei, sorry ... Looks like we should talk" Mami said in a serious tone.

"I want to take the car, Now" I said, ignoring Mami who sighed and nodded. "but finish your breakfast" Mami said before leaving my room.

It's been 3 days now that I haven't spoken to anyone, including Amri and Milla, whom I've also talked to. I who had just finished the bath was surprised by Milla's arrival without any news and she was already sitting sweetly on my bed. "Tell me anything, why do you have to be quiet, when can you get out" urged Milla who had told me to sit next to him but I still nailed in front of the bathroom door.

"how long have we been in office"

"wasn't I trusted enough to be a place to share"

"what do you think of me"

"i'd love to see you gini Fei"

Milla kept urging me to tell her something. Aama seems to want to know my problem, I also want to share a story with him. But it's too hard for me to tell you what I don't want.

I put my feet slowly towards him and I hugged my best friend. I was crying so it happened. And I told you as much detail as possible about my parents' fight.

"I feel like I want to keep avoiding, I don't want to face this problem" I said as I continued sobbing. Milla hugged back and gently rubbed my back.

"Fey, didn't they say anything to you ? You don't hear very clearly and don't understand what they are arguing about. You better ask them first" said Milla advising me.

"Mommy used to talk to me, but I'm scared" I replied.

"what are you afraid of ?" ask again. I immediately bowed and covered my face with both hands "I'm afraid to accept the reality with the story that Mami will tell later about their problems" I replied with tears that were getting louder.

"Fei, we've grown up, we should understand the state of our parents and loved ones, please don't be selfish" said Milla who continues to advise me.

I know I'm selfish about this, I'm still a child, I'm too afraid to face the truth when I don't know for sure what the problem is between my parents.

Tonight I finally packed my things as low as possible and planned to leave the house with a backpack full of clothes and a sling bag with other equipment. After I made sure Mami had entered her room, I immediately rushed out of the house by slipping through the back door.

Thought about going to Milla's house but she would definitely ask me to come home soon even though she would allow me to stay at her house, to where my grandmother would be followed by my parents later. Where else am I going.

I stopped in one big park in my city, where I often spent weekends with my parents like an only child because we went three more times than with my two brothers. There I grew desperate and wept remembering the beauty of life before my parents' quarrel.

I stayed up until morning and continued my steps. I thought maybe I should get out of town so no one could find me. Immediately I order tickets with the application on my android phone, I choose a city on a different island so that it is further. There is still time until the flight later.

There was still time until the afternoon flight, I booked a taxi to the airport and rushed to the toilet to take a shower. "How else, when I didn't take a shower" I murmured to see a small space that was just enough to urinate while sighing.

After feeling fresher I went to one of the cafes in the airport to wait for my flight time with just a glass of hot chocolate. I've been going out in the morning without breakfast and straight to school, so I don't think Mami will realize that I'm stopping this time, at least until later in the afternoon. I don't carry much of my stuff anyway.

"your eyes are as moist as a child" said a mother who approached me and surprised me. I've been wearing glasses but still seen him. "gapapa ma'am I hurt eyes" I answered, then the mother sat in the front seat me staring intently at me and smiled. "mother is old, mother is old, know the difference between sore eyes and crying" he said again, I just bowed. "if there is a problem solved well son, do not be sorry in the future" said the mother advised.

I kept quiet and occasionally glanced at my mother. Many things told me, about his life full of regret for ever running away from home even thinking about suicide.

It's true that I was touched and hesitated to leave the house, especially Mami. The only person who is almost always together, only during school activities I did not meet Mami. But because of a problem that I do not understand at all, I even think to leave the people I love and love me, of course they are worried if I just leave.