First Love Without Rest
The fight begins !!
"Mommy" said I who entered from the back door and for the first time in my life I witnessed the quarrels of my parents. "Feiza" they said in unison, surprised that I didn't think I'd go home. "so this is why Mami banned me from coming home ?" I asked, but they could only stare at me. I don't know what else they're keeping secret besides this fight. The family that I was proud of, today it's all gone. "Feiza, Mami can ... " Mami said as she approached me, but I rebutted and cut off her words "it's clear what Mi Gausahin is, Feiza wants to go to the room" I said and passed into my room.
In my room, I cried as if I was under a heavy burden. I wondered if my two brothers knew this. Why did they lie to their children all this time. I've never had a heartbreak, but tonight it's like my life is broken. The old man I knew was very harmonious and became my role model, Today I witnessed the truth.
My mom knocked on my room repeatedly, and I told her repeatedly that I wouldn't open the door for her. I finally heard their voices outside my room. I cried sobbing, though it was not very clear what they were arguing about but it was very clear to me they were having a big fight. Even they curse each other, even though all this time they always praise each other and often tease and remember and tell each other about their youth and how they can fall in love.
The next morning I was active as usual, only my eyes were as moist as the rest of the cry last night. "Well, how is this, it looks so" I complained in front of my bedroom glass. I looked for eye drops in the medicine box in the kitchen. "Feiza gapapa ?" mami asked, surprising me from behind as I read on the glass in the kitchen. Not one bit I spoke and went straight out of the kitchen, in the middle room I saw Papi just came down from the stairs. "Feiza" said Papi but I ignored it too. I decided to go to school faster and not have breakfast with them, even when Mami gave me provisions I refused without looking at Mami's face. I don't think I'm strong enough to bear it.
Not yet relieved my frustration because of the problems at home, still in the morning the julid gang has been looking for trouble with me. again they ask our bets. "already give up if you can not afford" said one of them. long enough I fell silent to hold my emotions heard them take turns sneering at me, finally I told them "already, enough !! I'm sick of you guys. I admit I lost and I don't want to continue with this bet. SATISFIED !!" I said loudly and left them.
Apparently Milla witnessed the incident in the school corridor, she came over and rubbed my shoulder. It felt like I wanted to shed my tears on her shoulder, just like Milla had done on my shoulder every time there was trouble in her family. "I'm afraid what your problem is, you don't look like Fei" said Milla. While continuing to sigh and trying to hold back the tears that I was still able to bear, we took the first class smoothly. Although my mind did not fully notice the lesson.
Not satisfied and still curious about me, even during the break Milla was still trying to question me again. But I hesitated to tell him. "i'm just sad again I don't know why my feelings are not calm" I said, continuing to look for excuses. "what are you doing for sin?" asked Milla who then laughed intrigued by my unreasonable answer.
At home Mami has welcomed with her cooking as usual "Children Mami has come home, change clothes yes we eat together" said Mami. I went to my room without saying anything, including greetings. But not so long ago I went back down and joined them at the dinner table. The atmosphere was quiet, and after I finished eating I went straight back to the room after I finished washing my dirty dishes. When I walked up to the stairs, Mami called my name, but I ignored her and Yerus walked over.
I realized I was wrong to do all this, but I just couldn't accept their fight. It feels like a dream, but the pain is real. "Feiza wants to close her ears and mouth to your problems" I said as Mami approached me in the room as she approached me before going to bed. I knew that Mami was holding back her tears, and I couldn't bear to say all this either. Mommy came out without a word.
After that day, everything became awkward for me. Never again cooking with Mami, often skipping meals together, and rarely at home. Not only my parents, I also stay away from Milla. Not so concerned with me, she spends time with her boyfriend. Sometimes he still reprimands and chats with me because we're a desk in class. The rest I will spend time in the school library. After school I would stop by the coffee shop at the end of the street near my school, where many visitors were still dressed in school uniforms.
I sat in the corner of the indoor area. I had ordered hot chocolatte before, but after I waited it turned out to be hazelnut coffee. "Mas, this is not my order" I said after seeing my drink. "Sorry ka, our kasi friend to my sister" replied the waiters who delivered a drink by giving me a piece of tissue. "The problem will not be solved if you continue to avoid" such is the sentence written on the side in the folded tissue. As I turned to the waitress who was dropping off, she pointed towards the bar in the tavern, I found Amri speechless with her smile pointing towards me as I looked at her. How shocked and constantly wondering what really happened. Since the Food Festival he always suggested Hazelnut Coffee to me, when before I did not like the smell of coffee, but somehow Hazelnut Coffee from Amri made me calmer.
Several times I went to the coffee shop but I just saw Amri there, after all the brand is different from the stand that I samperin at Food Festival. Finally I decided to wait until the store closed, sometimes I stole a glance at Amri behind the coffee shop bar. I find that sometimes he looks at me.
