Circle of the Past

Mr. udin. . . I'm Sorry

Arriving home, I always fail to focus on all the things I do at home all day. Even just drinking and eating a mouthful of rice is difficult. I kept thinking about the words maulida, I kept feeling uneasy with Mr. Ahmad's story.

oh my god, is it really worth that much to me in the eyes of Mr udin? Does he really like me, God??? haha this is very silly.how can a teacher like his student with a feeling of loveaaaaa. . . But, Aaargh I really feel guilty made her.

I see my mother occasionally looking at me, when I intermittently take a deep breath, intermittently daydreaming. I'm salting, you know??? Since I entered High School, my mother has always been a friend plus a friend and a backrest when I need a friend to confide in other than Maulida, because there are times when not all I can afford to overflow with a friend closest to me, my friend, on. . . Maulida likes buckets too. hehe

But. . . not all also I was able to tell my mother, I still have the shame and fear of mother thinking and worried I would be wrong in a relationship.

I see my mother still staring at me with a smile. . .

"Chella. . . What's up, son??? looks like you're so agitated. . . What's the matter anymore? here's the story of the same mother" Mother approached me while inviting me to sit in front of the porch.

Indeed, the feeling of a mother is not easy to lie even though I said firmly, just exhausted. Then the mother began her story, with all her past, how did she eventually fall into a relationship of matchmaking. I never asked, did you love me now??? It would be impossible if NOT, right??? while I was born with affection and attention, even though my father was so indifferent, but not a little father let someone hurt me even if only with words.

"Son, when you are given the choice of better loving or being loved which one will you choose???" Ask mother.

I was stunned, thinking about what I would choose later. . I hope this is the right answer.

"choose to love Mom. . Beauty and happiness are we who create, right? even though you don't get the same thing??? Well. . like my taste of Khery before.

Mother smiled gently in response,

"sadly, a woman's soul will in fact be easily destroyed, but not for stupid, If the mother is asked to choose .. . Mother will choose to be loved" explained the mother to me.

"Would it be more fun, mom???" Ask me then.

"So, you'll understand this my son. Now, just enjoy your new beginning of adolescence. Never lose to your ego"

"Mom, actually. . There is someone she always tries to get closer and get to know me further, but I reject her first" I explained later.

I told all the things from the beginning how about me and Pak udin to mom, everything that has happened until now.all my guilt, my curiosity, my curiosity, even a feeling I never understood. Do you know how my mother responded??? It's more than just painful.

"Then??? do you like it too, son? Ask my mother then. Without thinking I nodded,

"If you agree to it" I asked later.

****************

At school, I kept thinking about what mom's message was last night.I couldn't close my eyes even a little, until early morning. Today at school the weather was not friendly anymore, the rain fell heavily, adding to the mood I was increasingly claustrophobic looking at him, he said,

I continued to stand in the upper class amperage looking at the rain falling, enjoying this beautiful scenery.it felt peaceful enveloping, I took a deep breath, I looked around my courtyard and Junior High School. I remember all the stories of those days with those I loved. And my gaze was fixed with the figure of a man who was also standing at the door of the UKS Junior High room staring at me from a distance.

What??? Mr udin??? has she??? he's back in??? haaaah gratefully. . I was relieved to see it. I saw still some bandages on his body, long time we looked at each other from a distance.

Then maulida surprised me from behind,

"Hayooow thinks who???" Greet him with a loud tone.

"Iiiwh can you not ngagetin muluuuu??? surprised tauuu, just bother" I said with annoyance.

"ciyeeee gangguin elu Halu. . hahahahaa" Ledeknya later.

I look back The door of the UKS room sir has disappeared from there.

Howah. . What-what-appaan is this??? I'm sure it was just a hallucination.Yes I'm crazy.

The rain began to subside, only a smooth drizzle again adorned the atmosphere more cool and peaceful smell of soil and grass, the flowers and trees in the school more closely smelled when the wind hit. Maulida rushed down to take me to the cafeteria to sip some warm tea and some snacks, this heavy rain made our stomachs hungry.

While I was getting my hands on warm tea, suddenly the maulida kicked my leg hard.

"Eh sir udin dataaaaang, he's on his way to kemariiii, Look" The maulida whispers me coughing as if pinching the throat of this warm tea I'm drinking.

I slowly raised my head to look at him, Sure enough. . He was surrounded by brothers and sisters in our school, and some school staff took turns asking for news. He kept looking at me, saying that he had improved quickly.just less noticed ,hoho. seontak all teasing him, what try??? that means quirky me??? huh uh???

When I came home from school, it was raining down hard. I was running around hand in hand with maulida, we were laughing and enjoying this rain. very happy it felt, if. .. jojo .. . khery. . . with us at this time, I closed my eyes feeling the coldness of this rainwater, but it felt warm to me. Then Maulida pinched my waist, Aw. . I opened my eyes for a moment and turned to her with a pouting face. Maulida gave me a signal, I was looking around for where it was headed.

Degh !!! You know??? mr. Udin looked back at me behind the window of SmP's office. Oh my god. . Like the instant of my blood, the cold of the rain changes like a fire that burns me. I smiled, Long time we looked at each other, but. . . I remembered mother's message last night. Then I passed away just like that with maulida.I didn't care as she kept looking at me with a hopeful face.

I'am sory Pak Udin