1 Story, 4 Love, 2 Worlds
HANIFA [One]
Sincerity of Love
What can I do to make you feel my presence? What can I do to make you care? What can I say to make you feel this heart? What can I do for you there? Maybe because I'm different from the living creatures created by God that exist on this earth so I can't do what I want? I can't even touch and hug the child I've born with.
Some of those questions filled my grief when I realized that I was no longer a living being. At the beginning I was back in this world I felt awake from a very long sleep and lastly I felt a lot of pain in some parts of my body before falling asleep but when I woke up I no longer felt in pain I just felt a little strange because I was suddenly at home standing right in front of a beautiful baby girl. The baby was the child I had given birth to, happy and sad at the time. I couldn't help but embrace it but I realized that I wasn't a full human being anymore and it was impossible for me to touch it directly. When I saw her crying, I often cried, I could even feel her sadness as if I could communicate with her. My beautiful son, don't be sad..
Before giving birth to my son I once prayed and pleaded with God to be saved but if destiny says otherwise then I want to still be able to see my son even if it is only a few moments and it turns out that God granted my prayer. I could see my son again even if it was only two months in the month of his birth each year. Although my time is limited to two months, I am very happy to be with my little family.
Now it has been seven years since my departure year after year I went through with my daughter just the way. Her name is Armina Purnama, Nana and the only human who can see and communicate with me is Nana. He's a very smart kid somehow he can keep all this a secret. We were all so happy that his father still shed tears just because he remembered me.
Remembering the first time his father Nana call his name Word gave his name to his daughter. At that time he called the word Armina out of nowhere he got the name for me there was no problem then the addition of the Full Moon was thanks to my whisper which also somehow could be heard by the Word and finally the name of our son Full Armina. Nana's nickname was also the first I called her when she could look at me and smile when everyone was asleep at night. I used to cheer her up and call her by the word Nana when she cried and soon her father also called her Nana while playing with her.
When Nana was one year old, I was back with her when she started to walk even though she still fell. The first time Nana saw me she walked up to me so happily as if she already knew the feeling of longing for her mother back then I was so moved she came up to me. Shortly before reaching me she fell down and unconsciously I caught her and hugged her and for the first time I could touch Nana. I was so moved that I wanted to feel forever hugging and kissing her. Coincidentally at that time the Word did not look towards us who were hugging each other. Long enough I hugged Nana until she finally fell asleep in my arms without thinking and without thinking risking me moving Nana on a long white sofa to make her feel comfortable falling asleep. I stared unceasingly, rubbed my hair and kissed her sleeping face. Feeling that there was no sound, Firman began to look and look for Nana and then approached Nana with a surprised face when he saw his daughter asleep on the sofa, which if the size of a child learns the road is impossible to ride without the help of objects or help people. At that time I could only smile and apologize to the Word even though he could not see and hear me.
In the years that followed was also no less heartwarming when I again saw Nana was eating with her Father and Grandma when we were at my mother's house. It seems that occasionally Nana just glanced at me then continued eating and talking to my mother who again bribed her. Suddenly, Nana ran towards the wall next to the chocolate cabinet near the kitchen.
“Nana.. The food was finished first son.” Shouted his Grandma.
Word just smiled did not issue that for him it was normal for a child of Nana's age especially at that time who handled Nana was my mother.
“Nana is similar to her mother first if bribed to chase first food in her mouth is also long chewed.” Mother said to the Word with a moved smile.
At the same time I looked at Nana who was also looking at me at that time Nana kept an index finger on her lips which was a sign of no fuss and then her hand waved slowly to call me. With a smile I approached him after being in front of him I lowered my body then he whispered.
“Ssst... Don't fuss later seen grandma.”
“Nana eat what nak?” I whispered to him too.
“Aaaaa..” At that time he only opened his mouth to reveal the food in his mouth.
“Eat more son a lot, let's go to Grandma first later if no one Mother take a walk well nak.”
Without returning my whisper he immediately ran to his Grandma as if he wanted to quickly finish his food. I was not far away from them so I could hear all their conversations.
After eating they return to their respective busy lives where Mom cleans the house and soon Word goodbye to Mom because she wants to meet her office friends and then Nana was tipped at Mother's house.
Nana was three years old by four years. His intelligence and knowledge developed very quickly and his behavior made me miss him all the time. Somehow I did not understand how Nana could understand and could keep a secret that I did not appear in anyone's eyes except her and I was also surprised when she understood that I was her Mother. Every time I come as if he is so longed to always want to be with me every nobody who sees us even though his father sometimes sees Nana as talking to himself but the Word considers if it is only one's behavior another child playing.
“Ibuuu...” With a slow voice.
“Iya nak”
“Aaaa.. Ibuu.” The tone began to spoil.
“Yes pretty boy.”
Then. crying…
I understand how Nana feels. He just misses me and doesn't want to be left behind by me. I feel sorry for her who rarely gets affection from a mother. As I hugged and stroked her hair I kissed and wiped her tears while talking to her.
“Nana should not cry son, if Nana cries Mother is also sad if Mom is sad Mom can go and disappear, Nana wants if Mom goes?”
Nana simply replied by shaking her head then before long she asked.
“Mom can't stay here no more go-go?”
“Iya may but not now son, I have to finish the work Mother used to be able to come here to accompany you.”
“But Mom always long.” He said with a little crank.
“Nana must be patient and always pray, the child who prays diligently will definitely be given what he wants by the almighty.”
“Ibuu... Nana would like to join Mom..” Then back to crying.
“Iya nak Ibu also want if Nana goes with Mom but Nana must be a smart child first so that if it grows up later can come with Mother, did you say that soon Nana will be going to school?”
While wiping away her own tears Nana then said,
“If Nana has grown up later Nana wants to come with mom.”
The end of our conversation ended with Nana's close embrace.
